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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

999 replies

booandbumpp · 18/09/2018 07:52

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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thornyhousewife · 12/10/2018 22:49

3cm without even knowing it round of applause

Original poster
booandbumpp · 12/10/2018 22:58

Argh! Frustration. Midwife in charge has just been round - despite me asking earlier whether the NICU bed has been saved for me and being told "yes it will be saved for you no matter what" - it hasn't been saved. NICU is closed to admissions. If my waters were to break I would be redirected to another hospital.
I can't believe it. I'm so frustrated. The next plan is for them to ring NICU in the morning to see if the situation has changed. Then if it has and they're accepting admissions they will break my waters.
And here I thought I was getting somewhere. I can't focus on it too much or I'll start screaming.
So - they delayed me coming in as no cots. Brought me in when a cot was available. But then didn't save that cot for me.
😫😫😫

OP posts:
Original poster
booandbumpp · 12/10/2018 22:59

As way of an apology, they have given my DP a camp bed and my mum a recliner, so at least they aren't on the floor for a third night running.

OP posts:
Opheliasgoldenwine · 12/10/2018 23:10

Oh OP, that's so rubbish of them, I'm so sorry, here's a hand hold Thanks

FrankiesKnuckle · 12/10/2018 23:11

Wishing you all the best for the night ahead xx

AndBabyMakes3 · 12/10/2018 23:29

Oh I am so sorry OP. Keeping fingers and toes crossed that everything goes smoothly for you. Also, don't be afraid to ask for pain relief if the twinges/little nips get too strong. The epidural I got allowed me to enjoy my labour as it were (ended in emergency section as my body started breaking down however!). You will get to meet your little bundle soon so keep focussed on that. Sending you lots of love and positive wishes xx

WrongSideOfHistory · 12/10/2018 23:35

That's really bad, especially if you're supposed to be on the surgical unit. But they often move babies around (& transfer out) around the clock so things may be different by the time you deliver.

Original poster
booandbumpp · 12/10/2018 23:41

@WrongSideOfHistory thank you I'm really hoping that babies are transferred. I'm trying to be patient and I understand it's no one's fault I just can't believe I asked that question specifically and it's happened anyway. I feel like there's only so many stop/starts a person can take.
I also don't understand why it wasn't checked before the consultant came to assess me and put the gel in. This gels a little more intense - and is causing quite bad cramping. And really it's for nothing as we can't progress any further due to beds.

OP posts:
WrongSideOfHistory · 12/10/2018 23:51

Am I right in thinking you're at Leeds? They can easily transfer babies to Jimmy's from there.

Have they given any explanation for the cot being taken? I'm wondering if there's anyone you can raise this with, because it's really not on.

But - don't worry about it, just focus on you and delivering your baby. That is the most important thing. The cot issue will probably be resolved tomorrow.

RainbowsArePretty · 12/10/2018 23:53

You're doing amazingly. I really hope they sort the cot issue out so you djnt need to change beds Thanks

Original poster
booandbumpp · 12/10/2018 23:56

@WrongSideOfHistory yeah I'm at Leeds. They just said there were a lot of emergencies. Not really much else.
Hopefully there will be a cot available in the morning. I just need to calm down long enough to be able to sleep ha!

OP posts:
WrongSideOfHistory · 13/10/2018 00:00

I’m willing to bet that there’s lots of calls being made right now to get it sorted.

Try to sleep - or ask the midwives if they can give you anything.

Chelseajunior · 13/10/2018 00:07

Thinking of you all Thanks

Beauteafully · 13/10/2018 00:10

I couldn't help but cry reading all of your replies. You are truly in my deepest prayers and a lovely lovely mum. No matter how long you get to be one (hopefully for the rest of your life) I can see you already are and will continue to be amazing. Hold on to every good moment even if they seem very hard to find. Lots of prayers and love from California, USA.

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 13/10/2018 00:26

Concentrate on having your precious boy. They’ll have to sort the cot. Like a pp said, they’ll be working on that behind the scenes (I’ve some experience of Nhs bed management). It will come together. Your baby, your case is the sort of thing they’ll prioritise. Hoping labour goes well and you get to enjoy some cuddles soon.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 13/10/2018 00:28

Well boo to that update! I am so sorry you are going through this. It is madness, especially as you were doing so well already. Poor Boo.

Get some sleep. Fingers and toes crossed for a better update in the morning Flowers

Beauteafully your post re OP's posts made me cry.

Quantumblue · 13/10/2018 01:29

Oh they have let you down here. Just focus on resting and breathing xx

KoshaMangsho · 13/10/2018 02:26

Hi, I was in labour with a 26 weeker and fhis happened to me and I was WTF. He was eventually transferred in utero across London and born 12 hours later. Then as a small baby still only 30 weeks he became one of those who as a result of a medical emergency in NICU had to be transferred to a surgical unit and briefly took up their last bed there meaning other babies had to be diverted. As he was being discharged back to his original hospital another baby was being wheeled in to take his place. So while theoretically they try to reserve NICU beds sometimes it just doesn’t work. Bloody austerity. But having been on both sides of it I now understand things a bit better.
You are doing so so so well. Fingers crossed you get to meet your baby boy. As someone else said don’t worry about the cot for now. It will work itself out. You just enjoy (if that’s possible- I was a swearing mess by the time I delivered) this time. Much love from my family to yours.

Crunchymum · 13/10/2018 06:34

Gosh boo, how absolutely frustrating for you.

Not to give false hope but I saw so many babies come and go during our stint in NICU. Sometimes babies were there for mere hours before being given the ok to go back to postnatal ward or transitional care (and the babies never came back!!) so I reckon there will be a cot for your baby soon.

Keep up the good work and get as much kip as you can. X

Laiste · 13/10/2018 08:57

Morning x hope you got some sleep last night.

I hope there's a cot ready this morning and you can go into full labor in your own time today Flowers

Starlight345 · 13/10/2018 09:36

I came to see how the night went . Must be very scary for you.

Hope you managed to get some sleep and cot situation is sorted this morning

HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 13/10/2018 09:49

booandbumpp, good morning and how are things going? I'm hoping that there is a cot available for you this morning.

Original poster
booandbumpp · 13/10/2018 10:05

Good morning!
Consultant has just been round and they are planning to break my waters some time today, hopefully this afternoon. NICU not quite got the cot/staffing situation under control yet so asking for more time.
I'm feeling ok - mainly tired but ok. Was sick this morning.
Fingers crossed he's here tomorrow xx

OP posts:
JLG19 · 13/10/2018 10:12

Good morning, OP. I imagine you’re unbelievably frustrated. I really hope a bed for your little one becomes available and that a safe, straightforward delivery happens very shortly for you. Take care.

HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 13/10/2018 10:16

Is that the Consultant who will be doing the surgery?