AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

[booandbumpp]

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

Nearly there now! I was induced, try and get as much rest as possible (not easy in hospital) so you’re ready for the birth.

It can be a long process but you're getting there now! And it can change very quickly too!! Big hugs from SW England!

Fingers crossed! I had an induction for my last two. The waiting was for a while, but omg when they put a canula in my hand the pains came quickly. And after 12 hours and failed epdural she was finally here. Rest now as much as possible so you have all your strengt when the big contractions come. Thinking about you :)

Good luck I can’t imagine how you’re feeling but you sound remarkable xx

I was induced recently and it is very slow, boring and needlessly painful to begin with (nothing more annoying than bad cramps and being told cervix hasn’t even opened! All for nothing!) however the second pessary does usually move things along much better, so I really hope for you that this evening things are on their way! You are not alone OP xx

Hello Boo, it's 5.30am here, dark and teaming with rain.. so I thought I'd check in .

Good they've taken the other bed away, hopefully they'll think twice about putting it back! Hoping you get a bit more sleep tonight, or at least some rest. If you have ear buds and music, there's some music that is so good at relaying you they say you shouldn't derive whilst listening to it, that might help? I'll dig for a link...

Relaxing you!

Here you go -

Just wanted to say that I am thinking of you & sending you positive induction vibes.

Checking in from south London Keep resting and hydrated.

You’re Amazing, OP. Have been and am following you from Denmark and Sweden this week (had to travel; took you with me :)).
Sending you loads of good vibes and offering up a prayer or two for good measure.

Hand hold from Liverpool x

Just checking in to see how things are going Boo and sending a hug I'll send another in the morning as I drive past on the way to work. Hope you get some sleep tonight xx

I've just read all of your messages. I'd say you just can't wait to meet your little boy now. He's going to have one very special Mammy. Look forward to reading news of his arrival. Best of luck.

Hand hold from rural NW Ireland too Boo. Hope things are progressing or that you are resting as much as you can and that you get to fulfil your hopes list. Thinking of you and your family xx

Some positive vibes being sent from Cornwall! Good luck xxx

Handhold from Hertfordshire too OP and lots of positive vibes x

Love being sent from Lincolnshire!

Handhold from Dubai xx hope you're doing ok

Handhold from the next county of Derbyshire. Sending love and strength to you and baby boo.

Thinking of you x

Thanks for all the love around the world and nearby 😊
I slept a lot better last night - they left me 6 hours between traces so I could try and get as much sleep as possible. Still not much in the way of progression, but that's ok. Just have to see what the next steps are after pessary! X

Sleep is good. Rest is good. And food of you can manage any (if you are allowed?) Is good. You are doing a stellar job. X

Hello from down south, 6 hours between traces is a fair amount of time for resting/sleeping, take as much as you can get now.

Morning OP, glad you managed to get some rest. I really hope that today is the day for you How are you feeling in yourself?