AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

[booandbumpp]

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

How are you this morning, OP? I hope you managed to get some rest.

Hi Op, just checking in this morning. Hope you got some rest.

Good morning. Thank you for all the hand holds from around the world. It's quite amazing where people are reading this from.
I slept about 4 hours. They're monitoring every 6. Had some twinges and cramping but nothing too much in ways of progress. Just been for a venture to canteen for breakfast. Feels like being in an airport! Lots of waiting around x

Have you got company? When I had my youngest I was in a room on my own and able to have my husband and my cousin with me which was great. Even when I didn't feel like chatting the two of them working on a cryptic crossword was very relaxing.

I think you have a good mindset expecting to meet your little boy by Saturday - the first time I was induced I thought it would be 6 hours at the most. Will be thinking of you all day xx

Hi I remember you from the hg thread Boo I'm so gutted this has happened to you, it's all so much crueler when you have suffered throughout. I have everything crossed that it all goes as well as it possibly can for you & bump!! Sending all my love your way xxx

Another handhold from Australia.

Another handhold from NZ

XXX

Another lurker here who will be thinking of you and baby Boo.

I'm in Glasgow, not very glamorous and international but I'm thinking of you and baby Boo.

All 3 of my babies were induced because of placenta problems and this first stage does just drag on and on. I hope things get properly moving for you soon.

And I really hope more than anything that you get a chance for a cuddle with your boy when he arrives before all the medical procedures kick in.

Good luck!

Sending you another handhold from the eastern US. Hoping everything goes quickly and smoothly, you're so close to meeting him now!!

Morning boo, hope things start moving along soon! X

Handhold from the Midlands.

Hoping things have started to move along for you now. You are amazing.

Thinking of you (in Surrey!) and best of luck for today x

Thinking of you all the way from Ottawa, Canada. Hope things get moving soon

Wild wet Wales here .Sitting in the car in torrential rain and hoping your baby is with you soon and all goes well x

Hand holding from Somerset. I really hope you get your cuddle with your baby OP. I've been a nicu mum twice. One baby I got to have a little cuddle with before he was taken to nicu and the other I was just allowed to see him and kiss his head. Very precious moments.

Thinking of you today x

Thinking of you and baby x

Only the wilds of North London here, but wanted to send positive vibes and good wishes. I was induced with DD1 because I had obstetric cholestasis and it did take a couple of days for things to get moving.

Hope you are doing ok and things move a bit more quickly for you .

Thinking of you and your baby x

Up a bit and turn left a bit from where I think you are. With all good wishes.

Op, how are you today? How are you feeling?

Middle of rural midlands here. Thinking of you.

My induction was excruciatingly boring (48 hours before anything at all happened) and to cap it off i was in the bed nearest to the effing bin for the 4 bed bay. It was also the bin for the loo. It's lid dropped with a massive CLANG every.single.time anyone used it. Four heavily pregnant women plus visitors. It clanged all day and all through both bloody nights! Arrrggghhh.

Sorry for rant.

I hope yours is a more peaceful wait :)

I am ok, just pretty exhausted. Second pessary now in - Midwife said to not expect anything for the next 24 hours as cervix is well and truly closed. Then it's gel for 6 hours.
I had prepared myself for a wait so I'm dealing ok. Have my own room at the moment - there was a second bed that's been wheeled away for a bit. I'm hoping that means they aren't inducing anyone else for the time being (at least not here).
They've kept me off the ward for close monitoring so I am probably sleeping better than I would have been had I been on the ward!
Fingers crossed some progress with the next pessary 🤞🏻🤞🏻