AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

[booandbumpp]

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

Thoughts with boo and bump tonight. Hope you manage some rest for days ahead.

OP much love and strength to you all.

Boo I’ve been following silently, I am really pleased things are eventually moving forward for you. Your strength and courage is remarkable, BabyBoo is lucky you’re his Mumma.

I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight

Sending love strength and prayers. Youre little boy will experience so much love xx

Good Luck Boo,sending best wishes to you and your baby.xx

I've just stumbled across your thread and read it all in one sweep. I've recently heard of this cardiac condition through a friend's baby being diagnosed with it. She is at an earlier stage of pregnancy than you but understandably all consumed by it. I will look at the other resources mentioned to try and learn more about it so I can understand more and be a support to my friend.

I'm wishing you all the best for your labour and delivery and the time that follows. You sound so strong in your posts and your love for your little man shines through.
I hope all your hopes are realised and exceeded.

Sending you lots of positive vibes from Scotland boo! Bump is lucky to have you, hope he's here safely and soon.

Good luck OP! I found warm baths helped the propess pains A LOT if you're allowed in.

Another lurker just posting quickly to send you love and strength. You are all in my thoughts. Xx

Hope all of the messages are helping there Boo.

Perhaps we can devise a new labor bearing strategy, with the power of MN. Picture a map of the world, and we can all tell you from where we are sending you love and support. You can visualize little points of love, or beating hearts or.. just see all the crazies out here trying to keep your spirits up while you do the hard bit.

I'll start. I'm typing this from Union Square, San Francisco, California.

Delurking to wish you all the love in the world, sending positive thoughts your way x

Another quiet lurker here. Delurking to say I hope the induction goes well. Mine was surprisingly "good" and I hope yours is too xx

Still thinking of you and baby tonight op

Just read your whole thread. Lots of love to you. I hope your labour is as straightforward as can be. X

I'm very late to your thread, but just to let you know that I'm sat at home thinking of you and your baby. Good luck, I really hope everything goes as well as it can for you. X

You're in my thoughts. your way from South America.

I've been quietly watching for a couple of days too, but just wanted to send you my best wishes, and I hope everything goes as well as it can do for you.

lots of hugs to you! i wish you and your family all the best! xx

I have also only just found this thread, but thinking of you

I had three inductions - they took a while to get going 24 hours + - but once labour started the birth was quick.

I hope you are able to rest and relax a little. Lots of love to you all from the bottom left hand corner of Wales.

Here’s hoping things progress quickly once they start. I’m thinking baby boo will be here long before Saturday. Good luck, and I hope things go as smoothly as possible for both of you 💐

Like the pp said, I’ve had 4 inductions and they took around 16 hours to start, but my actual labours varied from 45minutes to 3 hours 20. Hopefully yours will be quick too.

Sending a, generally lurking, hand to hold from New Zealand

Hand hold from Canada 💐

I've just found your thread - wishing you all the love and best wishes! Thinking of you