AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

[booandbumpp]

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

Good luck and fingers crossed for a straight forward birth.

@lborgia thank you from the message from oz! I should say - when I mean soon, I'm hoping for Saturday but know it could be longer 🙂

Thank you for the hand holding. It's lovely to know there's so many people thinking of me and family and little baby (soon-to-be-not) bump xx

Ps, there's nothing to say you have to steady awks btw, if you can catch a few minutes sleep here and there, or even a proper sleep, do it.

Ah, you're all over it, I had no idea, and it was a very long wait! Sleep well, I'm around today if you're awake and need/ want to post.

Sorry, again, Boo. I'll not post again. Wishing you luck.

Thinking of you op. I've been touched by your words and couldn't simply lurk any longer. Joining the many who are offering virtual support and hand holding.

@YearOfYouRemember thank you for your apology. I was in a really bad place yesterday with frustration at the hospital and being scared about the placenta pressure so that's why I think I responded to your post the way I did - because you said a fear that I was experiencing myself. I didn't reply in that why to make you feel bad, I did it because I was worried that the delay would harm the baby myself and I didn't know the answer.

Sending every positive thought I have to you. Good luck!!

Good luck xx

Best of luck, boo!! Sending you lots of love and positive vibes.

Sending lots of positive vibes to you and baby xx

Just read all your posts OP. Wow, you’re a trooper! Thinking of you xx

It’s a very surreal experience, induction of labour. I’ve been there three times and all were quick. But there were moments where I felt like I was running a marathon.

I hope so much that you have as positive and empowering a labour as possible. And I am - like many others - sending you strength and virtually by your side for the times ahead.

You can do this. All of “this”
Sending love and good luck for you and your son and your family. ❤️

Just read the whole threat and want to wish you well over the coming days Boo. You will absolutely get the best care now you're in. Great hospital & great people caring for you. Sending you love from just down the road. You can do this xx

Hope everything goes nice and smoothly for you boo I only found your thread yesterday but have read it all. Are you still at LGI? I had my little girl there about 18 months ago, completely different situation but we were under the cardiac team and had no idea how long she would survive after birth, the staff were lovely after she was born, I had a side room on the anti natal ward after birth so didn't have to deal with babies, and then I moved into the sick children's trust house after discharge which was amazing as it's so close.

Anyway I'm keeping my fingers crossed things progress smoothly for you

Best of luck boo, to you dh and your little boy. I'll be thinking of you x

Another one sending you love and hand holding from afar. Best wishes to you all

Wow OP, you've been through so much already. Good luck with the birth x

Best of luck to you, I'm thinking of you all. X

Good luck
Wishing you all the best

Thinking of you all xxx

Good luck OP.

Much love and strength to you OP xxx

Virtual hand holding if wanted is available

I know I probably can’t say anything to make you feel better but you sound like an awesome person and little boo is lucky to have you.

Hope you are all being looked after in the hospital.