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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

999 replies

booandbumpp · 18/09/2018 07:52

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
taratill · 10/10/2018 15:51

All the best booandbumpp Flowers

Crunchymum · 10/10/2018 15:52

Glad you are finally at the hospital and hopefully it won't be too much waiting about?

They normally start with the pessary once you are settled, but obviously your care may be different.

Send you lots of positive labour vibes.

Wadewilson · 10/10/2018 15:56

Good luck, I hope everything goes well for you xx

ohfourfoxache · 10/10/2018 15:59

Oh Boo I’m so glad you’re in!

Hope all goes smoothly x

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 10/10/2018 16:03

Good luck! Xx

CatOwned · 10/10/2018 16:06

I've been lurking on this thread since it began, OP. Good luck today!

LadyGregorysToothbrush · 10/10/2018 16:08

Best of luck OP. Your baby is fortunate to have you as his mother.

FrazzyAndFrumpled · 10/10/2018 16:12

Haha I had so many bags too! Just make sure they’re all packed away before you go to sleep. When I was induced, my labour got going in the middle of the night and my stuff was just everywhere Blush the midwives has to gather it all together and bring it in to my delivery room... some of it arriving several hours later when the next lady had found it 🙈

DiaryofWimpyMum · 10/10/2018 16:55

Thinking of you Thanks

Almostfifty · 10/10/2018 17:02

You are in my thoughts. I hope it all goes as well as it can.

Laiste · 10/10/2018 17:18

Wishing all of you all the best Flowers

Hope you don't have to wait around too long OP x

YearOfYouRemember · 10/10/2018 17:19

I'm sorry if my question was ridiculous. I posted with my heart Blush.
I hope you're okay and by now resting with a precious new bundle of love.

RubaDubMum89 · 10/10/2018 17:37

Best of wishes op! I hope everything's going smoothly and you're as relaxed as you can be. Not long now until the little man is here! 🌼🌼

Breakfastofmilk · 10/10/2018 17:48

I hope you're okay and by now resting with a precious new bundle of love.

I know you mean kindly but the OP has made it really clear that this kind optimistic hoping is upsetting to her. She won't be resting with her baby because (as she previously explained) she will only get a few minutes with her baby before he is rushed to neonatal intensive care. She's probably still waiting or being induced at this point but once the baby is born she'll either be sitting by a high dependency cot unable to spontaneously cuddle him or resting away from him.

OP this is a terrible thing to go through and you, your little boy and your family are in my thoughts and my heart. I think you've coped amazingly with all of this and I hope you enjoy those few minutes meeting your son Flowers FlowersFlowers

thornyhousewife · 10/10/2018 17:53

I hope the hospital are taking good care of you, OP. Thinking of you and sending calm labour vibes.

PickYerWillyCircus · 10/10/2018 18:43

I too have been following quietly. Thinking of you and your DP... am so in awe of how strong you are & how caring Mumsnet can be.

HashTagLil · 10/10/2018 19:05

Thinking of you OP Flowers

NoTeaForMe · 10/10/2018 19:32

I’ve been quietly watching this thread. So glad you’re in the hospital with a plan now. Hope everything goes smoothly and you’re all being taken care of. Sending you hugs.

moita · 10/10/2018 19:45

Thinking of you OP

mummyhaschangedhername · 10/10/2018 20:02

Hope all has gone well OP. X

ineedwine99 · 10/10/2018 20:02

Hope all well OP

anniehm · 10/10/2018 20:05

Thinking of you. I'm guessing they did admit you at Leeds?

Original poster
booandbumpp · 10/10/2018 20:20

Hello! I'm admitted and have first pessary in. I snuck out for some food at All Bar One and then was nearly sick on the walk back. So serves me right.
I'm back in the hospital bed now. Some mild cramping but nothing too much happening.
I'm scared - not sure if it's of labour or after to be honest. Keep seeing ladies who've just given birth with babies on their chest being wheeled back from birthing rooms and having to remind myself that my baby will be in an incubator in NICU and not with me.
He'll be here soon. I'll let you all know his name when we meet him - we're pretty set on it but obviously need to know if it'll suit him first 🙂

OP posts:
2018SoFarSoGreat · 10/10/2018 20:26

So many of us here waiting with you Boo, and giving you a virtual handhold. Flowers

lborgia · 10/10/2018 20:30

Hi Boo, I've been following for a while and so pleased to wake up in Oz to find you're in and on your way.

I'm not sure if it has been explained to you, but everyone reacts differently to the pessaries, and they don't necessarily work terribly fast, especially if you're not yet at your due date. I'm glad you've had something to eat, and that you were only "nearly" sick Smile. I was told to stick to sipping drinks, and felt awful from not eating...

Take care lovey, there's probably been alot of x posts since I started this!