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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

999 replies

booandbumpp · 18/09/2018 07:52

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Toofle · 10/10/2018 08:46

Reading with incredulity and hoping for joined-up care.

Quantumblue · 10/10/2018 09:14

Thinking of you and yours today.

oh4forkssake · 10/10/2018 10:01

I’ve just found this thread and can’t believe what’s happened over the last few days. A horrible example of the NHS in crisis.

Wishing you all the very best for today. You and your baby will be in my thoughts.

Crunchymum · 10/10/2018 10:17

My 39w induction was moved forward to 38w because of the cord pressure.

I think the main issue is that it's an indicator that something could go wrong (they mentioned placenta failure to me!) but not that it's yet gone wrong if that makes sense.

So yes they will bring your induction forward but the pressure issue would not be deemed critical to them at this stage.

It's still a horrible situation if course but you need the correct staff to be in place for baby. I have everything crossed that today is the day.

You did mention London upthread. Out of curiosity which hospital would it be if you had to come to London? I've had experiences of quite a few hospitals with my baby so am happy to offer any reassurance (hope it doesn't come to to you needing to have to come all the way to London of course!!)

booandbumpp · 10/10/2018 10:26

I rang this morning and they said that there was still no beds. I was much better than I was yesterday - I didn't cry. I think knowing I had a plan in place helped with monitoring and talking to FMU consultant today.
But they rang me back 5 minutes later to tell me to come in between 3 and 4 this afternoon. So relieved/excited to meet him/terrified.
Thank you for all the thoughts and stories and support. They've calmed me down when I've needed them and it's nice to know people are thinking of you x

OP posts:
moanaschicken · 10/10/2018 10:32

I've been following your story quietly, but to see your latest update I needed to post and wish you all the luck in the world for today. Roll on 3pm for you!

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 10/10/2018 10:33

I am so pleased you will be going in will be thinking of you and your family all day. I hope everything goes as well as it possibly can be. This little boy is already so dearly loved.

MadisonAvenue · 10/10/2018 10:36

Sending you my very best wishes, will be thinking of you Flowers

RainbowsArePretty · 10/10/2018 10:37

Just read your update from yesterday & today. So glad you are being taken in today. You are so strong, wishing you & your baby all the best

NameWithChange · 10/10/2018 10:46

Sending all the support and positive vibes possible for 3pm. Thanks

Cutesbabasmummy · 10/10/2018 10:49

Good luck op xxx

Malbecfan · 10/10/2018 10:55

Sending you and your little boy my very best wishes xxx

AnonymousName · 10/10/2018 10:57

Best of luck to you all xxx

Rainbowtrain · 10/10/2018 11:00

OP I just came across this thread and reading through tears and thinking how strong you are. I just had to send you love and wishes and the uttermost respect for such a strong mama.
Thinking of you two

Crunchymum · 10/10/2018 11:07

Oh yay. Wonderful news you are being taken in today. Sending you lots of love x

uberalice · 10/10/2018 11:10

I'm sending my best vibes your way. x

Myshinynewname · 10/10/2018 11:13

All the luck in the world for today OP. I hope you’re meeting your LO very soon.

Mountainsided · 10/10/2018 11:16

Good luck for this afternoon OP, looking forward to hearing all about him and his name x

GlitteryFluff · 10/10/2018 11:17

Wishing you lots of luck.
Sending a hug or two as well Thanks

MissDai5y · 10/10/2018 11:19

I'm so glad you're finally going in. I've not messaged before because I really have no idea what you're going through but I've been following the thread.

I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible and your little man gets the treatment he needs asap.

You're in my thoughts, take care x

MrsCar · 10/10/2018 11:19

Sending love and best wishes to you and your very special son Flowers

Cupcakes12 · 10/10/2018 11:20

Sending you lots of virtual huggs ❤️

Hotpinkangel19 · 10/10/2018 11:21

Sending love xx

Baaaaaaaaaaaa · 10/10/2018 11:27

Thinking of you. Sending hugs and prayers.

ohfourfoxache · 10/10/2018 11:32

Thinking of you x