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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

999 replies

booandbumpp · 18/09/2018 07:52

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Original poster
booandbumpp · 09/10/2018 14:48

I'm at local hospital and just been on monitoring. Apparently the trace was absolutely fine - midwives were a bit confused why I was there until I explained. They've bleeped the FMU consultant that I've seen before so waiting on him to contact. I would just stay and refuse to leave but I'm not at the cardiac hospital unfortunately.
They've mentioned looking at other hospitals for cardiac cots - it would be Newcastle, Birmingham, or possibly London at a push. I think it might be that plan if I get cancelled tomorrow again.
Thanks for all the kind comments. I'm feeling a little better after feeling him moving about and knowing he's been monitored. I just really want to make sure that the pressure issue is monitored too.

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 09/10/2018 14:49

Have you considered contacting PALS?

ohfourfoxache · 09/10/2018 14:51

X post

I’m glad they’re looking at alternative hospitals just in case Thanks

Laiste · 09/10/2018 14:53

Hope you're OK OP. This is awful.
You could refuse to leave. Very stressful for you though.

I refused to stay once. A drawn out failed induction. They'd brushed me off and were going to leave me a second night in a noisy ward getting no sleep at a week over due. I started crying and packing my bag. Nurse spotted me. It worked. Can you do the reverse. Sort of?

Laiste · 09/10/2018 14:54

Ooh x post.

I'm glad you're feeling more reassured Flowers

ileclerc · 09/10/2018 14:59

I have no experience of heart issues, but I had a very early twin prem birth with significant complications.

The care I received from my local hospital was atrocious. I was explaining parts of the scans to them and they hadn't heard of one of the conditions we were were dealing with and they didn't even pick up the absent EDF.

Push and push to get back under the FMU asap if the consultant doesn't get back on the bleep. I also advise asking what the plan is, where are there free beds because if your baby does decide to come they will have to find a bed, somewhere and much better you can be in that place than need an emergency transfer out.

Thinking of you.

Cutesbabasmummy · 09/10/2018 15:01

I just wanted to say how much I've been touched by your posts OP. Fingers and toes are all crossed for you and your little boy xx

Crunchymum · 09/10/2018 15:42

Not to cause you any alarm (and I'm sure you already know this) but you need a scan for the pressure issues.

Mine was detected and monitored by ultrasound.

Original poster
booandbumpp · 09/10/2018 15:50

@Crunchymum I know I've had weekly scans for the pressure. I last had one Wednesday so I'm to go back in the morning for another trace and I will make sure I speak to FMU consultant to see if he can scan too.

OP posts:
Puddingmama2017 · 09/10/2018 15:54

Glad you’re feeling better after the trace.

Still got everything crossed for you and your son. Not been able to stop thinking about you since I first read the thread.

YearOfYouRemember · 09/10/2018 16:17

Is the delay okay for baby?

Original poster
booandbumpp · 09/10/2018 16:32

@YearOfYouRemember I must admit I snorted at your comment. I have no idea - I'm not a consultant. That's mainly why I went in for monitoring today, will go in tomorrow, and will push to speak to my FMU consultant tomorrow.
The decision to delay is made in a daily bed management meeting with NICU coorinator, Midwife in Charge in delivery suite, a FMU consultant, and the coordinator in the cardiac ward (and I'm sure other people but the roles I've mentioned are the one relevant to my baby's case). I have to trust that in these meetings they are taking everything into consideration when making the decision to delay my induction, including the pressure in the placenta.
I do know if it was only the heart issue then they would be happy to delay induction to 39 weeks and that's is only to avoid spontaneous labour away from the hospital as I would need to deliver in Leeds - it's the placenta that was the motivation to induce at 37. I think as long as it's this week it is ok - I do remember that an FMU consultant said between 37 & 38 weeks as long as there is still forward flow from the placenta, which will be checked tomorrow.

OP posts:
Laiste · 09/10/2018 16:36

Ready to send good vibes tomorrow then x

Original poster
booandbumpp · 09/10/2018 16:40

@Laiste thank you. I do appreciate them x

OP posts:
thecraicismightierthanthesword · 09/10/2018 17:14

Just to say thinking of you OP Thanks

WrongSideOfHistory · 09/10/2018 17:28

All the best for tomorrow. I'm a NICU mum and wanted to say that Leeds is good in terms of care, surgery etc. You'll be in great hands.

NameWithChange · 09/10/2018 17:39

Grrrrrr!!! How frustrating for you. Maybe babe needs this time in and circumstances are happening for a reason. You are a true warrior though. Treat tea and pampering in order tonight.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 09/10/2018 18:04

Boo no advice to pass along, but sending warmest wishes and a big virtual hug for you and your DH, and of course, Little Boo. Here's to tomorrow. Flowers

MadeinBelfast · 09/10/2018 18:20

All the best for tomorrow, the delays must be hugely frustrating for you Flowers

mummyhaschangedhername · 09/10/2018 20:18

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow x

Opheliasgoldenwine · 09/10/2018 21:59

Wishing you best of luck for tomorrow, OP Thanks

myknickersknackersknockers · 10/10/2018 05:48

Lots of luck for today x

JLG19 · 10/10/2018 07:41

I hope things get moving today, OP.

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 10/10/2018 08:11

Good luck to you and baby for today.

OTincognito · 10/10/2018 08:23

Thinking of you Thanks