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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

999 replies

booandbumpp · 18/09/2018 07:52

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
ChasedByBees · 18/09/2018 07:52

GO!

LittleBookofCalm · 18/09/2018 07:54

yes just go Thanks

Dreamingofkfc · 18/09/2018 07:55

Absolutely go. They won't induce unless necessary. You do not want to be sitting there after a poor outcome thinking what if for the rest of your life. I know it must be scary, but the midwives and drs should support you.

fixingabrokenhesrt · 18/09/2018 07:55

Please please please go. I know it's scary, I've been there, but please, just go

BackBoiler · 18/09/2018 07:56

Go.

CallMeOnMyCell · 18/09/2018 07:56

I’m sorry you are having such an awful time but you must go!

PicaK · 18/09/2018 07:57

Go

molifly · 18/09/2018 07:57

Go. There might be another option.

NoTeaNoShadeNoPinkLemonade · 18/09/2018 07:58

Sweetheart sod work please please go and get checked out. You need to do this, and please do tell the midwives how your thinking/feeling right now. You need some support and reassurance. Give them a call. Perhaps as its early you will be seen soon and on your way, nevermind that you have appts tomorrow, this need attention today.
《big hugs》xx

43percentburnt · 18/09/2018 07:58

I’m so sorry you are in this situation. Anyone at your and your partners work should understand and be sympathetic to your situation.

Go to the hospital, being monitored may give reassurance. My measuring small twin was over 6 pounds, the measurements for both twins were wrong.
I hope everything is ok for you all.

GetSchwifty · 18/09/2018 07:58

Go to the hospital, you know you need to.

ellaowenmummy · 18/09/2018 07:58

I can't imagine how difficult things must be for you but please go if you feel something isn't right x

foodiemama26 · 18/09/2018 07:59

You need to go. They will explore every avenue before induction. My son had an operation at 24 hours old and is now a bouncing 7 month old...it was scary but they can do amazing things. Please go and see the midwives xx

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 18/09/2018 07:59

Go. The specialists will be able to best weigh up all the different factors at play and make the best decision. It's so difficult and it's natural you feel frozen but you do need to go in.

Pascha · 18/09/2018 08:00

Go please today. Put the medical decisions in the hands of the medical people and don't try to take that on yourself.

Submariner · 18/09/2018 08:01

Oh lovely, go. If the worst happens you will pick over these moments forever. Of course it won't be your fault, but give yourself the peace of mind that you did all you can.

You sound numb. Having such a prognosis must be incredibly difficult to cope with. Go in, get checked out and ask about emotional support. Work won't mind, your partner won't mind. You're not going to do much at work, you'll be thinking about it all day.

Flowers Good luck lovely.

ems137 · 18/09/2018 08:01

I would most definitely go but probably leave husband at work unless there was a problem or a decision to be made

Crunchymum · 18/09/2018 08:02

Another one saying just go. A scan tomorrow is no use.

If they need to act, they will and they'll figure it out for you and baby.

Don't delay, get yourself there ASAP.

Jenala · 18/09/2018 08:02

You're jumping ahead op... Any huge decisions that end up needing to be made, aren't meant to be made by you right now on your own. You need to go in. All could be fine. If it's not all fine, then what happens is next is something you will talk about with you OH and the healthcare professionals and you will decide what's next that way.

I'm so sorry you're in this situation and I can see why you might be feeling totally paralysed right now. But you do need to go in and spread this weight across everyone's shoulders, not just your own. He has the best chance that way too.

OoohAyyye · 18/09/2018 08:03

I'm sorry OP Flowers I think you should go, they can at least monitor you.

doodlejump1980 · 18/09/2018 08:03

Go

UnicornSparkles1 · 18/09/2018 08:04

Go. Right now. You must.

Submariner · 18/09/2018 08:05

By the way, on my second pregnancy all was pretty normal (thank god). I was booked in for a procedure one day but had a niggle the day before. When I went in I said to the midwife "I'm seeing Mr X tomorrow for this" and she said quite firmly, "Yes but we need to see you TODAY." They may bring your other appointments forward, it would make sense.

MynameisJune · 18/09/2018 08:06

Just go, screw work your baby is more important than any job you’ll ever have.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 18/09/2018 08:09

Go.

Flowers I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time.

But go. My midwife would have told me off for not coming in with any concern no matter how little.