AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

[booandbumpp]

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

Please go. You seem to feel like you are out of options but you never know until you speak to someone.

Please go and checked out. If practicalities about work is what's stopping you, and I'm sorry if this sounds nasty, but you'll need a hell of a lot more time off than 1 day if your baby dies because you didn't get checked! Hopefully he's just having a lazy day or 2, but better to be checked! Good luck.

Hope u get seen quick

Fuck work! Just go. Hope you're there already. Good luck

Hi, am here and hooked up. Heartbeat ok but still no movement x

booandbumpp I’m so glad you’re being seen

Glad to know you've gone, fingers crossed for you x

Oh good well done, I've been worrying about you.

Glad you have gone in and are being seen. What a scary time for you. Virtual hand hold for you.

So glad you're being seen. They will do everything they can to keep your baby safe

Oh love. You’re in the right place, and that’s all you can do right now. You poor thing xxx

I've only just read this, but glad you're being seen 💐

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. X

I’m so glad you went. Thinking of you and your little boy

Fingers crossed for you xx

Fingers crossed for you - you're in the right place

You're in the right place. Hope all goes well x

Well done. Hoping all goes well for you x

So glad you’re in and being monitored.
From someone who didn’t have a happy outcome from reduced movement, you’re in the best place and they’ll do their utmost to ensure you are both well

I'm glad you went. I had the same issues with blood flow through the placenta, but without the additional complications. I almost wanted to ignore reduced movement too. It was kind of burying my head in the sand and the idea of dealing with a baby in nicu with complications being too hard to contemplate.

Any update op? Thinking of you x

I am home after 5 hours in mat hospital. The movements were low, for most of the monitoring but heart rate was fine. I was then sent to triage to check cervix closed due to some cramping.
Sent home and told to rest, but all ok for the moment.
Thanks for everyone telling me to go. It's easier for me to dig head in the sand to avoid this situation, but it's the hand I've been dealt and I need to accept it. You gave me the the push I needed anyway.
More answers tomorrow. But for now at least I can sleep easier x

Thanks for the update. I'm pleased they're not too concerned today. Don't be afraid to go back if anything changes between now and your appointments tomorrow.

Thanks for coming back and updating. Not an easy decision to make but you have done the right thing. Good luck tomorrow xxxxx

Well done for going. Now feet up with a cuppa and try to rest (can’t imagine you’ll fully relax). Hope tomorrow goes okay.

Glad to hear it