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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed that my friend, who was looking after my baby, let her daughter take her to the park on her own?

71 replies

AnnaFW · 17/09/2018 20:45

Hiya, my 14 month old daughter was being looked after by my friend (bit of an emergency, so was last minute). Her daughter was home (18) who I haven't ever met before, she's at university, so she isn't there much.

I come to collect my daughter and I'm greeted by my friend who tells me "oh they're at the park" and I'm obviously concerned asking who is and she goes so casually "(her daughter's name) and (my daughter's name)"

I've never met her daughter and it seemed a bit unreasonable to not even let me know.

AIBU?

OP posts:
sexnotgender · 17/09/2018 20:47

I would be ok with that. I thought you were going to say the daughter was 10 or something!

babbscrabbs · 17/09/2018 20:48

YANBU. I'd be pretty pissed off, but would probably let it go as your friend was doing you a favour and all was ok. I like to know who's looking after my DC.

hidinginthenightgarden · 17/09/2018 20:49

She is 18 and your friends DD. If it was your friends friend, or the DD was under 16. Then I would have an issue.

Original poster
AnnaFW · 17/09/2018 20:49

It's not really about her age though. It's an adult I haven't met just taking my daughter out by herself.

OP posts:
BigBairyHollocks · 17/09/2018 20:49

Wise up.Biscuit

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 17/09/2018 20:50

I was a dm at 17....
As long as it was the park and not the local pub....
Maybe a potential babysitter there op?

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 17/09/2018 20:50

Your daughter is 14, why did she even need looking after? Unless possibly if it was overnight.

LizzieSiddal · 17/09/2018 20:50

How far away was the park?

It wouldn’t worry me at all, unless she had taken her hours away.

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 17/09/2018 20:51

Sorry you said 14 months old (I’m tired and sick) yeh I wouldn’t be too happy with that but I’d let it go this once.

Redglitter · 17/09/2018 20:52

Your daughter is 14, why did she even need looking after? Unless possibly if it was overnight

Shes 14 MONTHS

greendale17 · 17/09/2018 20:52

@IsTheRainEverComingBack her daughter is 14 months old!!!

Original poster
AnnaFW · 17/09/2018 20:53

14 years old and being taken to the park GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 17/09/2018 20:54

YABU.
It was a trip to the park with another adult. The adult you trusted clearly trusted that adult. She was doing you a (last minute and unplanned) favour so YABU to be ungrateful.

Believeitornot · 17/09/2018 20:55

The issue isn’t whether the daughter is old enough at 18. It’s that the OP left her dd in the care of one adult and she passed her to another without checking.

Yanbu. I’d be annoyed.

Booboostwo · 17/09/2018 20:56

I thought you were going to say the friend’s DD was 10 as well!

Why is it so important to you to have met her? If you trust your friend you trust her judgement about her DD and most 18yos could take a toddler to the park safely.

Laiste · 17/09/2018 20:59

i'm on the fence. And it's because I have 3 young adult daughters and know (because i also have a little one) that they all love and cherish and look after a young child perfectly well.

However ... imagining the scenario was that OP returned to find the friend's mother/brother/husband/sister had taken the child out alone then i'd be inclined to agree and say that it's not really on to send a child you're emergency baby sitting out with someone else without checking with the parent.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 17/09/2018 21:01

YABU. I'd understand if the child was 10 but not bloody 18. I think you should be grateful that she gave up her time to take her to the park. I wouldn't have done at 18.
Babies were a no no. If you moaned about my dd under those circumstances itd be the last favor I ever did you

Original poster
AnnaFW · 17/09/2018 21:02

I'm not mad about her age.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 17/09/2018 21:03

If you haven’t met her before, then presumably your DD hasn’t either.

14 months is very young to be taken out alone with a stranger. My youngest would have been very upset by it. I don’t think YABthatU.

Lindy2 · 17/09/2018 21:07

I wouldn't find this unreasonable. Your friend has helped you with short notice childcare and for a little while her adult daughter has helped out and taken your child to a nearby park.
I doubt she'll help you out again if you make a fuss about what to me seems quite a reasonable thing to do.

Mivery · 17/09/2018 21:10

YANBU, but I also see where your friend was coming from. To her, this isn't a stranger, it's her young adult daughter who she trusted was capable of watch your LO. I wouldn't make a big deal of it, personally, but I completely get why you would be upset.

Butterflycookie · 17/09/2018 21:17

Would it have made any difference if you met her daughter or not? Like others have said, you’ve trusted your friend and she’s trusted her adult daughter. If you’ve not met your friends daughter then how well do you even know your friend?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 17/09/2018 21:18

I would be unhappy about that.

emelsie · 17/09/2018 21:20

No , I was a Mum at 18 too so no issue there but if I gave the care of my child to one adult I would not expect them to be with another when I went to collect them, regardless of how they knew that person.

GoatYoga · 17/09/2018 21:20

How can you have never met your friends daughter? Surely at 18 she will only just be starting her first year? How long have you known your friend?

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