aibu to think that they had this planned?

[Buffy81]

Hi. I am afraid that this is aDM/DF in law one.

We have just been on holiday for a week and there was 6 of us in total: Me, DH, DS, DB, DM, DF.

On Saturday we went away for the week. On the Sunday night, DH received a phone call from his DM to say that they where also in the same place and that they had come today and would we all like to do something while they were there. They were going back on the Wednesday staying some where different.

We were all shocked when we had the phone call. It was also her birthday when we were away. Normally DM/DF in law go away for her birthday and this yr they said that they werent going away as they were going away a couple of weeks before.

Out of politeness we agreed to the one day, with me, DM and DB all giving looks to each other to say that we were not to happy about it, but would go along with it to keep the peace. This started to make my DB anxious as he suffers with epilepsy and being out of his comfort zone and in new places can make him feel like that which in turn can bring on a seizure, lucky for him he didn't have one we managed to keep him calm. He cant take meds to often for it due to his epilepsy medication

We booked our holiday some point in may. In mid June, DB in law asked if him and his wife could stay there on the Saturday night due to them going to a gig in London on the Sat night. Her reply to him was was that they were going away on the Sunday for a few nights, but didnt tell them where as DB Wife told me this over fb messenger on the Monday

On the Tuesday when we all went out, I found that I could not relax properly as I might have said something to DM inlaw which in turn she then would have got upset about it as she gets really emotional about things and then we would have had the DF in law having words. By saying something it would have made it a uncomfortable day for everybody

It really felt like they were imposing on our holiday

The thing is regarding her birthday, we dont tend to see them as they tend to go abroad for her birthday

You do sound very selfish to begrudge your mil seeing family on her birthday.

Well if you don't usually see then surely you can accept seeing her this year? Gosh I'm not looking forward to my son getting married if this unkindness is what I can expect from a future DIL!

OP, if you alternate holiday years with your parents and inlaws then what your ILs did was batshit, selfish and inappropriate behaviour, probably driven by jealousy of your time with your family.

^Thisb

One day op, you may be a mil; let's hope you have a nicer dil than your own mil.

YANBU OP this is something I could imagine my IL's doing and I'd resent it too

My MIL just tried to guilt trip my BIL and his bf into travelling across Italy where they are on holiday, to meet her when her cruise ship docked. Thankfully he had the balls to say no

To those saying the OP is being unkind to stop the MIL seeing her family - surely it's the sneakyness the OP objects too

Some may see it as sneaky, some may see it as a nice surprise.

I’m sure if OP lets them know how much it annoyed her and how unwelcome they were, it wouldn’t happen again.

If one of DPs family did this sort of surprise to me while we were in holiday, I would have thought “aw great, a chance for us all to have a get together “..

Sounds like OP needs to make her feelings towards her in laws a bit more clear so they don’t get any ideas about doing this again.

Yeah, god forbid OP should end up with a DIL who holidays with her every second year. What a raging bitch

I get on very well with my MIL, we're pretty close. I've been on holiday with her willingly and will holiday with her again. I'd be pretty bloody unimpressed if she gatecrashed a holiday I was on with other people though. Especially having planned it for months. That's just plain odd behaviour.

All those saying the OP is being unreasonable because "poor sad" MIL wanted to see her son and grandson on her birthday, have you all missed where OP says MIL usually spends her holiday abroad? So seeing her son and grandson on her birthday clearly isn't usually of concern to her.

And some people really do need to learn to read properly on here. The OP and her husband appear to split their time equally between both sides of the family; each set of grandparents look after the grandson one day a week and they alternate holidays so I think the OP has every right to be pissed off that the in laws muscled in on her week away with her family just because this year their plans had changed.

Perhaps if they'd been upfront about it from the start it would have been different, still intrusive but a lot less sneaky, and OP could have planned her week away accordingly. I don't know about everyone else but if I go away in this country I tend to plan ahead for each day of the holiday, sometimes even booking tickets before we go. An unexpected arrival might me we end up not doing something we were really looking forward to on our holiday.