To ask preschool to not call my daughter princess?

[CaviarAndCigarettes]

I understand princess has become somewhat commonplace in modern language. Where you would once call a young child poppet or sweetheart it has become princess, for girls.

I dislike the terminology. She isn't a princess. She's a very smart, kind and adventurous person. She wrestles better than her older brother and is a tough negotiator. She's intuitive, creative, friendly and inquisitive.

We have consciously never called her princess and always use the same affectionate language with her and her brother - darling, sweetheart, superstar etc
Yet two weeks into preschool she is OBSESSED that she needs to be called princess.

Normally I would have put this down to other kids but I have heard the preschool team calling her princess several times within the two weeks - I hoped she wouldn't pick up on it and it wouldn't stick.

I know how difficult it is to not say something that just slips off your tongue with no malice or ill thought behind it. I haven't asked them to not call her princess and even if I did it must be a hard habit to break if that is their go to term of endearment for little girls... but I really want to ask them to try not to. And explain why. I want them to praise her efforts and her kindness and her attempts. Not stamp a princess and a sparkle on it..

Aibu?

Meh, chill out

She's a very smart, kind and adventurous person. She wrestles better than her older brother and is a tough negotiator. She's intuitive, creative, friendly and inquisitive

Why wouldn’t these apply to princesses though? I’m pretty sure that Meghan could out negotiate me.

I really don’t think it’s an issue.

You are being ridiculous .

Pick. Your. Battles.

YANBU.

YANBU

Yanbu. Makes me cringe when I hear it.

YANBU - I feel the same, as long as you raise in a constructive way then it’s fine to mention I think!

Just leave it. I'm sure you can find bigger and more worthy battles to fight. She's going to do the pink/glitter/unicorn/princess shit whether you like it or not - best just to let it go and pass naturally - which it will. And it will pass faster if you don't make a THING of it.

I'm with you OP

Yaaay more ingrained sexism.

You know she could be all those things and still be called Princess?

I think it's complimentary

Ffs!

I’m entirely with you OP. I fucking hate it. All of the connotations to me are spoilt brat.

But you’ll have to go over to the Feminist Boards to get people to agree with you.

Just have a quiet word with Pre-School and say why you don’t like the word?

I think you'd be being a bit princessy if you asked, tbh.

You can ask but not sure how far you'll get. I'd work on pointing out telly Princesses like in Brave and Moana (yeah yeah, not a Princess, she's the chiefs daughter lol) and how although they're Princesses they still have to tidy their room, play with worms, be brave, be strong etc

to the posters who have said they agree with the OP.

YANBU. Unfortunately, the nursery staff will just think you are a loony bra-burning feminist and pity your daughter for having such an extremist mother.
I die a little every time I hear a little girl being addressed as princess.

I've called my daughter a princess once; I used it as an insult! She hit me (jokingly) on the arm and then we laughed! Yeah, princess isn't a compliment in this house.

This is really no big deal at all. Why does princess mean she isn't smart and interesting etc?

How old is your tough negotiating pre-schooler OP? 😂.

Why can’t a princess be “smart, kind and adventurous”? A lot of modern Disney princesses are just that. Princess Charlotte seems pretty sassy too!

I think the problem is people’s perception of the word “princess” - we need to change that, not stop using it.

Odd how you find wrestling a skill to be proud of.

Worse things happen. It’s not unkindly meant. She won’t remember. And it doesn’t matter much.

But you’ll have to go over to the Feminist Boards to get people to agree with you

That's good advice. Why dont we advise all those who get they are being unreasonable to go and ask someone else who is more likely to agree with them? Then everyone's happy and noone has to consider anyone different POV.

For what it's worth DH uses the term princess for our dd. I think its a lovely term of affection. It distinguishes her by her gender but it isn't derogatory or demeaning. Believing she is a princess hasn't stopped her from believing she is equal to her brother or just as capable.