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AIBU?

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Original poster

Paid wrong person via PayPal. Help!

168 replies

NewNameDueToMyIdiocy · 14/09/2018 17:38

Please be kind, I feel like a total idiot right now. Name changed because I am embarrassed and worried.

I sent some money via PayPal "Friends and Family" recently and inadvertently sent it to the wrong person (a total stranger!). It was not a small amount of money (hundreds) and I am now very worried at the possibility of not getting it back.

PayPal won't / can't help because I used F&F. I am obviously not expecting them to cover me, as I forfeited that right by using F&F, but they won't even request a refund on my behalf or anything. There is no option for me to do this myself via my account. The only dispute option open to me isn't applicable to the situation and when I raised a dispute it was closed almost immediately.

I have been in contact with the incorrect recipient via email and while they have replied to me, they haven't made it clear at all if they plan to return the money. I can understand that they might be worried about a scam or similar, but I'm really hoping I can convince them I am genuine.

AIBU to hope that they will return my money? Is there anything I can do if they don't? Has anyone ever been in this position? Help Mumsnet.

OP posts:
Shallishanti123 · 27/09/2018 11:08

Oh no way! Sorry to the OP, but I am glad this thread is here as it’s definitely made me more aware what can happen.

NoFucksImAQueen · 29/09/2018 20:09

I'm really sorry people have made you feel like that op. it's hardly an incoveniece to click refund and I can't believe the petty people that are saying they would drag it out.
you made a mistake, you're human, it was hardly a big mistake that requires outrage or punishment

Puzzledandpissedoff · 05/10/2018 14:54

Just wondered if you've got any further / heard any more from them OP?

Buxtonstill · 05/10/2018 15:53

I hope you got the money back.

Original poster
NewNameDueToMyIdiocy · 06/10/2018 11:37

Thank you @NoFucksImAQueen @Buxtonstill I appreciate the support!

@Puzzledandpissedoff - I haven't heard anything from them since the last email when they basically said they were busy and it was a huge inconvenience, etc. I spoke to an advisor at Action Fraud (thanks to the PP who provided that link!) who advised that I report it, said if the money isn't returned then "dishonestly retaining a wrongful credit" will apply... interestingly they also said expecting the money back within 24-48 would be reasonable. So I reported it via the Action Fraud website and will now have to wait and see what the outcome is. It is not really a quick process though!

I don't know whether contact the recipient again now. I kind of feel like I'm flogging a dead horse and worried (based on what PP have said) that it's going to piss them off if I "bother" them too much. I'm still clinging to the fact they stated that they don't intend to keep the money and really hoping they meant that. I'm not sure if I should tell them it's been reported or not? DH said not to though. I thought maybe it might help to convince them that I'm not a fraudster as surely no scammer would actually report their own scam to the police?!

I hate all this and I'm still kicking myself on a daily basis for being so stupid!

OP posts:
GoatWithACoat · 06/10/2018 11:45

No don’t contact them againOP. They are digging in their heels and won’t give it back to you through threat. If action fraud do contact them they may return it then. You can also use the small claims court to peruse them but you’d need to be a sleuth to get their address.

You may have to chalk it up to experience sadly.

PartAnd · 06/10/2018 12:09

Oh dear, they sound very awkward. I'd have assumed a scam at first but I'd have checked everything out and dealt with it quickly. I believe most people would be a bit put out by it but would have defended the money.

You sound like you've been polite and apologetic.

I hope you get your money back soon.

PotteryLady · 06/10/2018 12:10

I'm with you that if they know you have reported them it might speed them up. Good luck.

Shallishanti123 · 06/10/2018 12:12

I wouldn't communicate with them any further now until you've heard more from your report. Hopefully you can get your money back. I think they'd have sent it back by now if they were genuinely going to do it. However busy they are, and let's face it we are all busy, it's not an excuse for keeping what is not theirs.

Toughtips · 06/10/2018 12:39

Oh no. Really hope you get the miney back. Its awful that they know and have replied but have sat on this for two weeks.

Hopefully action fraud will help

SauvignonBlanche · 06/10/2018 12:45

Hope things work out for you.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/10/2018 16:14

Blast - I was hoping you'd have had i back by now Sad

At least Action Fraud sound as if something might be done, though I imagine you'd be behind a long list of "major"

I agree with PPs, though, that contacting them again might not be wise, unless it's a very simple, one line "when will you send it" sort of thing. They're clearly not as honest as I'd hoped, and if this is the case I doubt threats of the fraud team will help

Shallishanti123 · 06/10/2018 18:03

Section 24A of the 1968 Theft Act

Dishonestly retaining wrongful credit

They can get sent to prison for not returning.

PastaRedWine · 06/10/2018 18:29

Gosh, I think some people have got very worked up here.

As I said, it happened to me. It was a few years ago and tbh I just sat on it and didn't do anything for ages as I thought it was a scam.

I think "they could go to prison" type replies are unhelpful as sadly the OP did this in error, while using the Friends and Family option to save money!! What does everything think those fees go towards? This sort of situation!!! She used F&F, forfeiting the right to that protection from PayPal. That's what happens when you try and save a few pounds sometimes and make an error.

If the bank and police can sort it, that's great! But it's not the other person's fault. I'd 100% think scam, as I did when it happened to me.

Shallishanti123 · 06/10/2018 19:03

Pasta, whilst you think they are unhelpful they actually reflect the law. The person she sent the money to is committing an offence if they keep it.

Mehaveit · 06/10/2018 19:07

Personally I would politely contact them letting them know it had been reported as dishonestly retaining wrongful credit and if they have the intention to return it then for them to contact PayPal as PayPal have told you they are waiting to hear from the wrongful creditee.

Good luck! PayPal can be spectacularly shit rather often.

PastaRedWine · 06/10/2018 19:12

@Shallishanti123 and if someone other than a member of the public gets involved it's a different matter! Until then, it's suspicious.

I think everyone would then make sure money was transferred properly back again.

As it is though, it could just be an elaborate fraud. I wouldn't budge until the police/bank contacted me.

Original poster
NewNameDueToMyIdiocy · 06/10/2018 19:27

@PastaRedWine - where did you get that I was using F&F to "save money" I haven't stated that was the case, so you are making a rather large assumption there.

Anyway despite the above I do appreciate the perspective of someone who has been on the other side of such a situation. Out of (genuine) interest, what did you do with the money in the meantime, just leave it sat in your PayPal account balance for months?

OP posts:
PastaRedWine · 06/10/2018 20:02

@NewNameDueToMyIdiocy

I guess the only reason I think people do use F&F is to save the PayPal charge when they are absolutely sure they are paying the right person, and that person is known to them? I appreciate you thought you were paying someone you did know, but the people who work at PayPal are paid for by those charges and I suspect that's why they are not helpful as a company when someone who has the benefit of a free transaction needs their help. Sorry, I am not explaining that very well as I am shattered from a flight! But basically they do make it clear it's your responsibility to make sure it's the right person?. Rotten when you mistype, but it costs them as a business too to sort out issues.

In my case, it was a (very) small amount of money and I replied back to say something like, "sorry if this is genuine, but I know it's a well used scam by other people so please go through PayPal or your bank".

It was cancelled I think in the end. I can't honestly remember. It was years ago.

I certainly wasn't going to do anything myself as it is a well known scam. 100% I would though if anyone from a bank or the police had contacted me.

SD1978 · 07/10/2018 00:38

I would send a message to say that you have escalated it to fraud action, so when you hear from them you look forward to them returning it. They have been dicks about it. I get being cautious but there is cautious and arse. They have moved into arse territory.

PatPhelansRedVan · 07/10/2018 00:56

Hope you get i5 back

claireblueskies · 07/10/2018 01:01

If someone 'accidentally sent me money' then kept sending me emails, including one where they mentioned the police, I'd be incredibly pissed off. I am very busy, and this would take time sorting out to make sure I couldn't be scammed somehow - I would need to talk to both 1) PayPal and 2) my bank. Neither of which are easy when you have limited free time.

The more emails you sent me, the more suspicious I would get it was a scam and therefore the slower I would be to to refund.

I would ultimately send the money back, but only after first getting confirmation, the transaction wouldn't be reversed, and then a payment taken out of my account (i.e. a double refund).

Chase up PayPal by all means, but don't chase the individual who hasn't actually done anything wrong (yet). If you could get PayPal to explain to me it was legit from a legit Paypal communication, that would help. I know you've said they haven't wanted to get involved, but I think you may need to try them again.

Buggerbrexit · 07/10/2018 01:22

I’m busy too, but having someone else’s money - or potentially fraudulent funds - in my account which I use frequently for online purchases would stress me out. I’d want to resolve it as quickly as I could.

I hope you get it back OP Flowers

PintOfMineralWater · 07/10/2018 01:32

Oh no OP, this isn’t good! I hope you get it back soon.

SD1978 · 07/10/2018 01:57

@claireblueskies- Paypal won't be involved as it is t a transaction dispute as such, but a mistake by OP, so there is nothing to investigate, according to OP.