Paid wrong person via PayPal. Help!

[NewNameDueToMyIdiocy]

Please be kind, I feel like a total idiot right now. Name changed because I am embarrassed and worried.

I sent some money via PayPal "Friends and Family" recently and inadvertently sent it to the wrong person (a total stranger!). It was not a small amount of money (hundreds) and I am now very worried at the possibility of not getting it back.

PayPal won't / can't help because I used F&F. I am obviously not expecting them to cover me, as I forfeited that right by using F&F, but they won't even request a refund on my behalf or anything. There is no option for me to do this myself via my account. The only dispute option open to me isn't applicable to the situation and when I raised a dispute it was closed almost immediately.

I have been in contact with the incorrect recipient via email and while they have replied to me, they haven't made it clear at all if they plan to return the money. I can understand that they might be worried about a scam or similar, but I'm really hoping I can convince them I am genuine.

AIBU to hope that they will return my money? Is there anything I can do if they don't? Has anyone ever been in this position? Help Mumsnet.

Well I mentioned the police (in the least threatening way I could think of) and got an almost instant response.

The recipient does not plan on keeping the money, but they are waiting to hear back from PayPal (due to fear of a scam). So I'm more hopeful now that I'll get it back eventually.

I just wish they'd made their intentions clearer from the start!

I hope you get it back soon

Glad you heard from them. It's sounding a lot more positive and the fact they were worried about a scam is no surprise at all - you're obviously genuine, but to be fair they had no way of knowing that

I just hope it doesn't take too long now

I’m hoping you’re on the way to sorting this, OP. Or, even better, that you’ve got your money back.

I think it's been long enough. Give them today to return it and if not, then contact the Police.

The money should still be sitting in their PayPal account and I hope, for their sake, it is. If they've transferred it to their bank then they can't argue they thought it was a scam - after all, why would you put scam money into your account?!

I worry about this kind of thing whenever i pay from myh bank account. I start to worry if ive typed numbers wrong for all the kids activitiea.

I think they've had it long enough now and if it's not returned contact the police. You've already said that Paypal won't contact them again so they are not going to get the message they are waiting for!

No money yet. I'm trying to be gracious and give them a bit longer to sort it as they've stated it's an inconvenience for them to try and sort it out (for which I have apologised obviously). They've contacted PayPal themselves to check it isn't a scam, and I know from experience PayPal aren't hugely helpful at responding (or answering questions in a straightforward manner when they do!) so appreciate it might not be a very quick process. Obviously I want the money back ASAP, but I want to be reasonable. My main concern was not being sure if they intended to return the money at all, which they've now stated they do, so that's put my mind at rest a bit. I'm out of the country in a few days so not an ideal time to contact the police, but I'll be considering this again when I am back if no further forward. From a bit of internet sleuthing I know where the person works, so I'm not worried about the police being able to locate them if it comes to that. Thanks for the further responses.

I hope it gets sorted for you OP.

Don’t delay - they are stalling. It’s less of an inconvenience for them to do the refund than it is for them to reply. It takes seconds to do it - the button is there for them to press.

It’s been at least 10 days going back and forth... I think they’re planning on keeping it.

Maybe they are busy? Young baby or elderly parent to look after and the last thing they want to do is deal with something that was a mistake made by someone else. I know it must be stressful but wait a bit longer.

Did you get the money back?

I dont think 10 days is too long, there are so many paypal related scams I can't blame the person for being nervous about refunding a largish amount of money.

Unfortunately the more you email them the more likely they might be to be suspicious as fraudsters can act like that too.

I hope you can find a solution without having to go down the police route, I fell sorry for both parties.

Maybe they are busy? Young baby or elderly parent to look after and the last thing they want to do is deal with something that was a mistake made by someone else. I know it must be stressful but wait a bit longer.

@ IamReginaFalange Did you not read my last post? I am giving them a bit longer.

@PattiStanger - my thoughts exactly about hassling them making them more likely to think it's a scam. It's actually been two weeks now since I send the money in error though.

If I haven't heard anything from them when I get back from my trip then I'm going to contact the police! That's my line in the sand.

Don’t delay - they are stalling. It’s less of an inconvenience for them to do the refund than it is for them to reply. It takes seconds to do it - the button is there for them to press.

It's not issuing the refund that's the issue/taking time, it's them making sure it's not a scam. I have it in writing that they don't intend on keeping the money (admitting that it isn't theirs to keep) so I'll be taking that to to the police if necessary. However there's no point in contacting the police now when I'm about to leave the country for a week.

I've just read that back and I sound rather grumpy. Apologies I'm pregnant and hungry. Never post online when you're hungry!

I think they are being a bit unreasonable here. I understand not wanting o be scammed- but Paypal aren't interested. They either believe you or not. It's not inconvenient to return the money- it's a few clicks on a keyboard. They don't give any details- juts return your money. There's being cautious and there is being paranoid and a tad obstructive. After almost two weeks they are falling into the second category now

@SD1978 I'm inclined to agree, but I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt for the time being. As I say - I know where they work (they're an educated professional person by the look of it) and they also know that I know where they work (they've corresponded with me via their work email address) so they'd be quite stupid to keep it really.

Their last correspondence to me was clearly pissed off in tone, at the inconvenience, and stated that they are incredibly busy, so I'm giving them a bit of time to get sorted. I think that's fair as it WAS my stupid mistake.

PayPal did say they'd be happy to talk to the recipient about the payment, if the recipient contacted them, they just couldn't help me
to retrieve the money directly, or offer any support/protection due to using F&F. My understanding is that the recipient has now contacted PayPal themselves at least.

It's a bloody nightmare and very frustrating, as all they need to do is press that bloody refund button. I'll also speak to my DH tonight and see if he thinks we should contact the police any sooner than planned.

Thanks again for the input everyone!

Obviously I want the money back ASAP, but I want to be reasonable

I think that shines out from every post you've made, but I also agree that 2 weeks is probably enough

Hope you have a lovely time when away and that the money's there when you return. If not, a chat to the police may well be worth it, though I don't know if they'll say it was effectively a "gift" with you using F&F

Fingers crossed, anyway

After 2 weeks, there’s no way the money hasn’t cleared.

If I were you I’d email them before you go away and let them know that you will be contacting the police if the money isn’t refunded ASAP.

I might have offered a small 'reward' for the inconvenience you're causing them. They didn't ask you to make the mistake, you've been at them for days now asking for the money back -PayPal are notoriously bad for sending a/emails that are badly worded, b/not bothering to respond at all.
I know it's annoying, but if I were to receive this money by mistake and then be 'hassled' with emails I'd be inclined to make you wait as long as possible.
You don't know what's going on in their life and if I was to receive an email telling me you were going to the police because of your mistake, I'd be inclined to wait until the police came knocking and then issue the refund.

I dont agree with this that theres being cautious and being paranoid. If we assume its an average person several £100's is a lot of money to potentially be scammed.if the other person came on to MN and said they got scammed for not following PayPals instructions and did their own thing they would be told it was a silly thing to do.

It isn’t theft, the police can’t do anything. I once transferred a total stranger my wages and the bank told me they couldn’t make the recipient repay me, thankfully they did though.

I don't really see what's a massive inconvenience to them to just issue a refund? It'll take about a minute to log into PayPal and send the money back. They could also phone or chat to PayPal if they feel they need to ask anything before refunding, that will take 10 minutes.

It's a massive inconvenience if they're checking that it is legitimate, ems137. Why should they have to phone a PayPal call centre? Not their fault, not really their problem. 10 minutes out of your day might not be much, but for somebody else, it could be. Being threatened with the police would certainly annoy the hell out of me, I can assure you. And a 10-minute phone call with PayPal is never really a 10-minute phone call!!