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AIBU?

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Original poster

Paid wrong person via PayPal. Help!

168 replies

NewNameDueToMyIdiocy · 14/09/2018 17:38

Please be kind, I feel like a total idiot right now. Name changed because I am embarrassed and worried.

I sent some money via PayPal "Friends and Family" recently and inadvertently sent it to the wrong person (a total stranger!). It was not a small amount of money (hundreds) and I am now very worried at the possibility of not getting it back.

PayPal won't / can't help because I used F&F. I am obviously not expecting them to cover me, as I forfeited that right by using F&F, but they won't even request a refund on my behalf or anything. There is no option for me to do this myself via my account. The only dispute option open to me isn't applicable to the situation and when I raised a dispute it was closed almost immediately.

I have been in contact with the incorrect recipient via email and while they have replied to me, they haven't made it clear at all if they plan to return the money. I can understand that they might be worried about a scam or similar, but I'm really hoping I can convince them I am genuine.

AIBU to hope that they will return my money? Is there anything I can do if they don't? Has anyone ever been in this position? Help Mumsnet.

OP posts:
Bimgy85 · 14/09/2018 20:16

Oh no!! 🤦‍♀️ hope you get it back fingers crossed it's a decent person

User12879923378 · 14/09/2018 20:38

Keeping money that was transferred to you in error is a criminal offence called dishonestly retaining a wrongful credit. It's like stealing.

hannnnnnnxo · 14/09/2018 22:38

Oh lord.

If this ever happens again, use the unauthorised transaction dispute. Obviously make sure you get their email address correct to begin with and change your IP address. Or pay via credit card so you can file a chargeback

Original poster
NewNameDueToMyIdiocy · 15/09/2018 11:53

I did phone the bank this morning (thanks for the suggestion!) but the department I need to speak to only works Mon-Fri, so will have to call again on Monday. I sent them a secure message about it via online banking too, so I've put something in writing. I can't imagine the bank will be that bothered/able to help, but at least I'll have explored all avenues.

@Puzzledandpissedoff - that's a good point about the payment clearing. I hope that's all it is. Fingers crossed. I'd like to believe most people would return it, I like to see the good in people.

I hovered around a cash machine recently, because there was a load of money sticking out of it and no one anywhere to be seen. I stood there until the machine sucked the money back in to make sure no one took it. I'm praying that'll give me some good karma here!

I'm going to look more into "dishonestly retaining a wrongful credit" now.

Thanks again everyone.

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/09/2018 16:31

Fingers crossed that the good karma works for you, NewName Smile

As you say, more people are honest than no but I really couldn't blame them for protecting themselves. I had something similar when a builder gave me his email address wrong and it took ten days before it was completely "cleared", so don't panic just yet!!

Original poster
NewNameDueToMyIdiocy · 18/09/2018 06:51

Thank you!

I contacted my bank who said I could raise a Visa dispute, but it was probably unlikely to go in my favour and actually when I went through the process this money doesn't fall into any of the categories listed.

The bank also suggested that I contact the police. I'm not going that avenue until I have given the recipient a bit more time, but I will eventually if they don't return the money.

OP posts:
Poodles1980 · 18/09/2018 06:59

I work in fraud. Tell the person you will contact the police if the money isn’t returned. Follow through on this threat if necessary. IS the person who received money in the same country as you?

AltheaorDonna · 18/09/2018 07:08

I don't know Poodles. If I unwittingly got unexpected cash in my Paypal account and then was threatened with the police, I would be pretty unhappy and not very inclined to do anything at all. I reckon I'd assume it was a fraudster and ignore the emails hoping it would all go away!

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 18/09/2018 07:13

You're lucky you didn't send it to someone like me, although I would refund it, I never go on PayPal or the corresponding email address. It could have been years before I even noticed it!

PiperPublickOccurrences · 18/09/2018 07:17

The person who you paid by mistake might not even be in the UK - so quoting English law at them may be entirely irrelevant.

AltheaorDonna · 18/09/2018 07:19

That's a good point DayMan, I can't remember the last time I checked my Paypal account.

mintich · 18/09/2018 07:25

This happened to me, and I went to the police in the end. Got my money back!

JustGettingStarted · 18/09/2018 07:40

I hope they refund you

NewBlueShoes2 · 18/09/2018 07:57

This happened to me the other way around. I told the person who had credited me in error to go to PayPal, her bank and the police as there was no way on earth I was going to just refund. You don't just hear of scams. It's a really common one!

nellly · 18/09/2018 08:05

I'm very cautious and I think im this situation I would certainly think 'scam' Blush I definitely wouldn't just ping the money back in case it was in some way risky and would also wait for 'further instructions' from PayPal or the police. If they don't return it within a week I think contacting the police is fine. If someone official tells them it was a mistake they will probably send it back quick. Most people aren't out looking for theft
Opportunities to drop into their bank

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 18/09/2018 08:06

Oh what a nightmare OP! I hope you manage to get it all back, there's some really good advice on this thread.

nellly · 18/09/2018 08:06

Actually I've just thought, are you sure they're able to send back? In my youthful post university days I was terrible with money and frequently going into an unauthorised overdraft. Any money that randomly dropped into my account would have fallen into that and I'm not sure I would have been able to just send it back Confused

Original poster
NewNameDueToMyIdiocy · 18/09/2018 09:31

The person is definitely in the UK.

@Poodles1980 Thanks for responding. Out of interest would you let the person know before contacting the police? Or just do it? I don't want to threaten them with anything but I thought it would be fair to let them know I plan to contact the police if I don't hear back by X date.

@mintich - thank you so much for letting me know that happened in your case, that makes me feel much better.

Just to be clear I am very aware that the recipient will be wary of a scam! And I haven't demanded anything, I have asked them how we can come to a resolution. I have offered to provide proof of who I am (and asked the person what they would like to see!), and asked the person to contact PayPal if they don't feel comfortable communicating with me.

It's just a tricky situation as I'm currently in limbo, having only had one rather curt (understandably enough) email from the person.

Ultimately they have money that doesn't belong to them, so I hope they do the right thing and investigate how to return it.

OP posts:
PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 18/09/2018 09:34

If it was me I would not return it until I had contacted paypal and made sure your money had definitely gone into my account (I'd be worried it was a scam where their original payment is cancelled once I've paid the money back) but I would return it once that was clear.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/09/2018 10:43

Just scrolled back to your previous posts, and I see the recipient said they're waiting, in effect, for "further instructions" ... I wonder if they meant from their bank, with regard to if the Paypal transfer had cleared or not?

It seems to me that the key point is to find out the date it will be cleared, add a couple of days on to it and then approach them again. Surely at that point, a decent person has either got to send it back or produce a darned good reason why not?

Original poster
NewNameDueToMyIdiocy · 18/09/2018 12:31

@Puzzledandpissedoff - they meant awaiting further instructions from PayPal. They were contacted (by PayPal) because I raised an "unauthorised activity" case in PayPal (as that was the only option). It was closed almost immediately (as obviously the activity was authorised) and PayPal has confirmed to me that they won't be communicating with the recipient again. Very frustrating!

With regards to possibly waiting until the payment has cleared in their bank, I'm not sure it's that straightforward with PayPal involved. Certainly when I receive any F&F money in PayPal it sits in my PayPal "balance" until I either use it to pay for something or manually transfer it into my bank account. So it will depend if the recipient has transferred it into their bank account or not. I have no way of knowing this. I only know that the money has definitely left my account. Hope that makes sense!

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/09/2018 12:38

Ah, I see what you mean NewName ... it seems, then, that's it's using Friends and Family which might have made a difference

I must admit I only usually use Paypal for ebay, but surely even F&F has a period after which it would be "safe", IYSWIM? Though if they won' discuss it with you, that gets you no further

It appears all you can do is give them a set period after which you WILL want i back - and failing that try the police

NoFucksImAQueen · 18/09/2018 14:42

so they still haven't sent it back yet? and it's been what about 6 days? I would definitely tell them that while you appreciate they are apprehensive they have your money and you need it back and cannot wait indefinitely so if they don't refund it by X date you will have to contact the police as it is theft.
I can understand them wanting to check things but they've had long enough to do that now

Bimgy85 · 18/09/2018 20:03

The money would be back by now op. Unfortunately I'd kiss goodbye. Whoever got the money is obviously like 'tough shit!'

Poodles1980 · 18/09/2018 20:04

I would ask them politely one last time to return the money. If they don’t I would make a complaint to the police. If the money has left your jurisdiction then the police can’t do much but at least you will have some sort of record of reporting it to the police. Other than that I am afraid you may need to write this off as a costly mistake. In my experience you won’t get it backSad