To be fucking sick of domestic violence and men abusing women?

[Frouby]

I know I am not BU. But am venting on here to let off steam.

Last weekend there was a horrible incident on our estate. I don't want to give details as it's an active case. But after years of abuse a woman is in hospital after very nearly being murdered by her exp.

My dsis is currently being emotionally, financially and physically abused by her husband. They have been seperated for a couple of years now but have an on/off relationship. 2 weeks ago he broke her nose. This week he has smashed her car up, smashed her windows (again), taken her house and car keys and his childs bike. She has been staying either with her grown up dd or my mams. Her 10 year old has autism. He isn't coping very well with the upset. His father is using him to get to his mother.

Day after fucking day I read stories like this on mn. I see my sisters being abused by men. I saw my mum abused by my stepfather. My aunties ex husband commited bigamy, left her bankrupt and homeless. My friend has an on/off boyfriend who is a drug addict and she is almost bankrupt as he has financially crippled her for years.

I shouted at my dsis tonight. Told her if she didn't report his latest cunts trick to the police herself I would be doing it to SS. That she needs to do something to stop the absolute fucking bastard she married from making hers and her ds and her grown dd who has a newborn from living their lives around that piece of shit.

She says they won't do anything. I suspect that she is right.

My mum ended up homeless for 10 minths with 6 dcs when she finally left my step dad. He kept the family home by terrorising her into not fighting for it.

Am just absolutely fucking sick of men abusing women and getting away with it. Why? If I walked up to a stranger and broke their nose I would probably do time. If I broke into someones house, smashed their car up and stole property I would do time.

My other dsis was held for 3 hours by her ex at knife point and threatened with being raped and her throat cut. He got a 2 years suspended sentence and an anger management course. It's a fucking absolute disgrace.

Why are these crimes against women not taken seriously because they are crimes by partners or former partners? I just don't get it.

Tell us how many men were murdered by women they knew last year eh? Then women murdered by men. Let's see what your stats say shall we.

Or are you going to be too busy slagging off the "choices" of dead women?

NewYearNewMe no-one is saying all men are violent and abusive. I don't personally know any men who have behaved like this (AFAIK). But like PPs I am sick of reading about men attacking and killing their wives, girlfriends, ex-partners, children, etc.

Do you say to Black Lives Matter protestors "what about the white people"?

No, but then Im not racist nor misandrist or bigoted

WTF is "mate " crime?

Anyway OP YANBU. I'm even more sick of people trying to excuse shitty behaviour. The Jonny Depp thing a while ago really opened my eyes into how little women are regarded and how much people will tie themselves in knots to excuse shitty behaviour by men

So, so true. In a way that they never would for women.

But like PPs I am sick of reading about men attacking and killing their wives, girlfriends, ex-partners, children, etc.

I have to minute and type up SARs - grim - and frequently women are the perps.

WTF is "mate " crime?

Gosh, your google is broken - mate crime is violence/assault/abuse against someone you have groomed to be your friend

Women are sick to the back teeth of male violence.

Absolutely fucking sick of it.

The idea that women are responsible for as much violence, sexual violence, murder add men is preposterous.

The idea that women must take responsibility for men attacking them is revolting.

A klaxon goes off in MRA ville- women are talking about it again! Get in there and stop them by any means necessary.

It's absolutely sickening for mothers of sons to read this misandry every day.

I have a son. I don't magically believe that men as a class aren't dangerous just because I bore a baby with a penise. Me having a boy hasn't changed rape statistics or DV statistics or the fact that 2 women a week are killed by men. Us mothers of sons need to stop getting so damned defensive and apply it to our boys just because we love them. We need to help make the change and teach them a different way and attitude towards women in the hope that, by the time they're older, so many men will stop raping and beating women.

Also I'm not doubting your stats but I'd like to see a link!

Just waiting for a link to those stats.

I have never heard of the category "mate crime".

That totally trivialises this case where a woman had her throat slit by a co worker.

Mate crime FFS. Not stalking, harassment, murder. "Mate crime". Jesus Christ.

Some of the women I was in refuge with had gone for their partners during their relationships (and these men had also attacked these women too, often many times). It’s not uncommon. But it’s worth pointing out there is often a waiting list to get into refuges. You would only get a place in refuge if you were at risk of significant harm. Because men can and do cause more harm than women can in most cases. I remember pushing my ex back once with my full weight in desperation and anger and fear. He didn’t even move. He flipped me right off my feet a second later and pinned me down by my wrists.

Can we just remind ourselves that 1 in 4 women experience DV. 1 in 4!!!

Could you imagine if 1 in 4 people, or even 1 in 8 people, suddenly contracted a disease in this country m? - it would be called an epidemic and everything possible would be done to prevent the spread of it. Money would be spent and public health budgets would sky rocket. Yet when it comes to beaten women, no one cares - more and more funding cuts are made to services for women. It is not treated as anything more than a slight inconvenience. I'm angry. We should all be angry

I had to come here to see if the OP was male; as another poster so rightly said, women need to stick together or something like that, but whilst I agree, I do think that non-abusive men as well as women need to stick together.

Context: when he'd battered me into submission and tears the ex got an instant erection. Does that not just say it all; there are no words for it, and there is dwindling support and I know, it IS difficult to escape, and get refuge, support and housing

Hawthortia id never seen that before, very interesting. I doubt any of the ‘men are victims too’ people will read it though, which is a shame. Thanks for posting it.

I work with ex offenders. Virtually every person I work with has suffered with dv in some form. I’m exhausted from hearing case after case. My opinion of men was shaky to begin with, Its definitely affected me just as a listener.

Sars?
Something to do with sexual abuse?
Why are you using so much jargon?

Your claim is that women are responsible for more sex offences than men?
What is your claim exactly?

Whatever it is I suspect it's shit.
Is it going to be that most sex abuse is committed by women but never reported? Maybe? Hmmm?

smother

Yes I agree non-abusive men need to do more. They need to call out their friend when they make sexist comments, they need to recognise red flags and they need to do more than say "well I'm not a wife beater so really not my problem". Rather than teaching our sons that mummy know little Jonny would never do that despite what those pesky feminists say, we need to turn this culture of violence on its head. I don't know exactly how we do that on a practical level but I want to know. My boy is not yet 2, but I don't want him growing up in a world where women are shit on like this

Pumperthepumper - I have it bookmarked so I can share it every time some pompous knob says “what about men?” I use it a lot

I'm sure NeeYear is a police officer (apologies if I'm wrong) which I think is utterly terrifying

Take your ‘what about the mens’ crap and FUCK OFF

2 women die A WEEK because they have been murdered by men.

Last year 1.7 million women recorded domestic abuse. Imagine the number of unrecorded incidents.

Women are being punched in the streets by strangers for asking them to stop sexually harassing them.

Misogyny is rampant at the moment, and getting worse, and the root cause of all of those problems is toxic male violence.

When toxic male violence is no longer a problem for women then it won’t be a problem for men either will it.

When toxic male violence is no longer a problem for women then it won’t be a problem for men either will it

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Wouldn't be surprised, gunpowder.

We have a few who claim to be police officers on here who have really dodgy attitudes to women. They are women often themselves as well.

Explains why we keep having women murdered when the police could have stopped it, "lessons learned" and then another similar story following week.

A man in Australia has just been convicted after drawing a giant penis on the memorial of Eurydice Dixon, a young comedienne who was raped and murdered. He did this a few days after her death, "to protest for men's rights". This is toxic Male entitlement and the "what about the menz" crowd just feed them heir fucking cookies to the point they believe they are actually more oppressed than a dead woman