AIBU to be gay and dislike the term LGBT

[BaitandSwitch]

Just that, really. Why do gay people have to be lumped in with trans people? As far as I see it my sexuality has nothing to do with trans issues.

[Edited by MNHQ]

Are you the sort of woke kweer I'm referring to? I'm thinking probably not. I certainly don't think all young people are ignorant of gay history. Plenty of people my age and older seem remarkably ignorant especially since they lived through some of it

Not That wasn't aimed at you!

Trans people suffer far more discrimination that gay people, women or any other section of society. They are at a massive risk of suicide

How do they suffer more discrimination than women have?! Back up your statement if you believe it to be true.

Were they banned from owning bank accounts or property?
Were they banned from education?
Were they banned from driving?
Were they banned from voting?
Were they banned from holding patenants, allowing men to steal their ideas?
Were they banned from many jobs and legally allowed to be paid less and sacked after getting married?
Were they legally allowed to be raped by their husbands?
Were they routeenly electrocuted for being themselves?
Were they ever legally kept as slaves?
Are they raped and murdered on a mass scale just for being trans (hint, 8 trans women have been murdered in the last 10 years. They’ve also murdered 12 people).

Your bullshit statement is so fucking offensive.

Bisexual here, and absolutely agree with you. It's a completely different thing altogether.

I don't really understand the 'relative discrimination and suffering' argument, as an argument. What's the purpose of it?

Is LGBTetc the 'coalition of all those who are discriminated against'? Is it 'the coalition of all those who feel marginalised by mainstream society and wish to empathise with and support each other'? Well, clearly not, as in either case it would encompass BAME, disability, immigrant, impoverished and other groups who are discriminated against and marginalised.

It's not the group of about people discriminated against because of their sexuality, or their bodies, appearance, ideas... what is the common factor?

If one group believes itself to be both distinct and more discriminated against than anyone else, surely the reasons for that discrimination must be something to do with the thing about that group that is distinct. So, keeping that group distinct and its message clear, for the purposes of political campaigning, would be the obvious thing to do. Any other course of action will dilute both the group's distinctive characteristics and its special claim for consideration.

I can see there's an argument for piggy-backing on a larger, well-established group, which has already achieved a lot of social and political change. But, doing so when you believe that you and the issues you face are distinct from those faced by any other group, just buggers up your USP / special claim and causes confusion.

Just musing on OP's question. Of course people can organise themselves as they wish and don't have to explain themselves to anyone else. That I don't get it doesn't matter at all.

I've often thought the same.

I agree with you
Trans isn't a sexuality.
I'm gay too and don't like it.

It's clever marketing by the trans movement because society's taken decades to become more open/tolerant/actually welcoming of gay people.

They've effectively gone in guns blazing saying "you don't want to get it wrong at us like you did for them, do you?"

And every woke person has leapt up with a "oh god no, welcome and whatever you want, just say".

This is SO TRUE. See the latest video by Momentum featuring Juno 'gay men are gay as a consolation prize because they couldn't be women' Dawson.

Well, clearly not, as in either case it would encompass BAME, disability, immigrant, impoverished and other groups who are discriminated against and marginalised"

Yes, not to mention women, of course...

Well indeed, so basically the 'anyone but white, middle / upper class, cis, hetero, males' club!

I know that's ridiculous and that people and groups can be friends and allies of whatever other people and groups they like. From a community and compassion standpoint, any grouping can form by chance and circumstance.

From a political, compaigning and publicity one - in terms of 'the message' - though, I do think 'we are the most oppressed group and that is why we align ourselves with a larger, slightly less oppressed group' is contradictory nonsense. If you've won the oppression olympics, you really want to maintain your special status in order to make that point clearly, when campaigning for your particular and distinct political wants. Aligning yourself into letter soup dilutes your message and your cause in a madly counter-productive way.

Trans people suffer far more discrimination that gay people, women or any other section of society.

Utter rubbish.

They are at a massive risk of suicide.

No they aren't.

I agree, I'm not gay, but I've never understood why gay people and transgender people are thought of as in the same category. Also, my best friend is a lesbian and she hates the term "LGBT community" as she doesn't see why she should be part of a community depending on sexuality.

YANBU OP. Being gay has nothing to do with being trans or anything else. Why does straight get its own category, but anything else is lumped together? I'd hate it too.

Those who are trans are "at a massive risk of suicide".

The reality is that suicide is the biggest killer of males under the age of 50.

Definite apolgies - that's selfish of me !

I always use LGB

I dislike it, and dislike BAME as well (yet another reason to have left the Labour Party, who have swallowed it hook line and sinker)

I've been asked before if I'm "LGBTQ" - you can't be a woman with short hair and not have this sort of thing happen from time to time.

L, G, and B are mutually exclusive - you can't be more than one of these things at once. T isn't the same thing at all and I'm still trying to work out what Q actually is. Where I come from, it's a sneery word used by older people who can't bring themselves to say "gay" or "homosexual".

Guess what the letter P stands for and are out and proud in Pride marches, campaigning for it to be added to LGBTQ?

It is a fact that of the 120 or so trans identified males in prison, more than half of them are in for violence against women/rape.

A trans identified male is far more likely to murder than to be murdered.

Just saying

"Apologies, but I'm glad the TRAs didn't decide to hitch onto BAME instead, though or we'd be BAMET and everything would be about trans and nothing about racial discrimination and disadvantage"

They have to an extent.

You get white trans women accusing anyone who disagrees with them of beign a "white feminist".

Also the have co-opted the theory of intersectional feminism which was around how women who are disabled / not white / low income etc have addiitonal oppression as these things multiply each other. So a black woman is oppressed becasue she is female and because she is black and furtehr and specifically becasue she is female AND black.

Trans activists have co-opted this theory by trying to get transwomen described as another "type" of women :-

Black women, disabled women, poor women, trans women

Like that >> so they are grouped in with other oppressed "types" of women

Then they say they are the MOST oppressed type of women somehow
And all the other women (esp feminists) black, disabled, poor etc must prioritise helping trans women above all else and put their own needs down the agenda. Of course many transwomen in the UK for example are wealthy, white and have worked many years in high flying careers before bravely starting to turn up in a dress and stand around like "i'm a little teapot" but we're not supposed to notice that

I'm a B and yeah dislike it. I can completely empathise with the "Get the L out" campaign. Lesbians have never been represented. It's always been about men. I see far more gay people in the media and on tv than I see lesbians.
Lesbians are titillation in porn and seen as "gross feminists" irl, not to be taken seriously..
To be telling lesbians they should accept male bodied people is misogyny and homophobia on such a scale. It's vile.

Yes I am very angry with LGBT. trans is not a sexuality and does not belong. At all. If I said this on Facebook or Twitter, I'd be banned. And yet I am calling out the disgusting misogyny and homophobia.

Well, this is not my experience at all and I'm a lesbian who has been very active in our local gay scene for years and years. I go to all sorts of groups and events, including those that bill themselves as LGBT+, and those that are just for lesbians and bi women. All of them have trans members and that has never caused a problem at all. Trans people have not become a dominating or divisive force in any group, and I feel personally accepted in all of them. Over the years I've made great friends with people who are FtM, MtF, non-binary and asexual.

On the very rare occasions that I have been made to feel uncomfortable, e.g.: by people asking invasive personal/sexual questions and attempting to shame me, forcing me into hugs/body contact that I didn't want, or putting awkward manipulative pressure on me to sleep with them, it's always been other women and, to my knowledge, none of them were trans.

So I will continue to support LGBT+ organisations, and avoid those that are explicitly trans-exclusonary.