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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be gay and dislike the term LGBT

151 replies

BaitandSwitch · 13/09/2018 11:45

Just that, really. Why do gay people have to be lumped in with trans people? As far as I see it my sexuality has nothing to do with trans issues.

[Edited by MNHQ]

OP posts:
BeyondAnOmnishambles · 13/09/2018 12:34

Agree.

Personally I also hate "oh I'm LGBT" too. Umm no you are one of them, (absolute maximum two of them), you're not an acronym.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 13/09/2018 12:35

I completely agree with you. There does seem to be an element of 'gay people worked hard to be given the rights they now have, we can't be arsed to do the same so we will jump on their bandwagon.'

I also don't understand why the Q is included, it is still a horrifically derogatory term. [confusion]

BabySharkDoDoDoDoDo · 13/09/2018 12:35

I like LGBQ better.

ThreeAnkleBiters · 13/09/2018 12:37

While I agree they're separate issues they've traditionally been groups of people who have had sympathy with each other. Some of the comments on this thread are already nasty towards trans people. Trans people suffer far more discrimination that gay people, women or any other section of society. They are at a massive risk of suicide. If you can show any empathy you are not a nice person.

balljuggla · 13/09/2018 12:43

@ThreeAnkleBiters "Trans people suffer far more discrimination that gay people, women or any other section of society."

Sources please.

gendercritter · 13/09/2018 12:44

Trans people suffer far more discrimination that gay people, women or any other section of society

This is absolutely not true, it's just been repeated enough that people think it is. I wouod say lesbians are at far higher risk of all sorts than many trans people are.

The suicide stats also don't stand up to scrutiny although of course any suicide is a tragedy

BeyondAnOmnishambles · 13/09/2018 12:44

"Trans people suffer far more discrimination that gay people, women or any other section of society"

Source, please.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 13/09/2018 12:46

Trans people suffer far more discrimination that gay people, women or any other section of society.

Seriously? Hmm Does that include the fact that being gay was once illegal (and still is in many places), that women didn't used to be able to vote? Or are you just basing this on the past few years?

lottiegarbanzo · 13/09/2018 12:49

I heard Matthew Parris make exactly this point on a R4 discussion a year or two ago, with I think Paris Lees another participant. All very discursive, pleasant and urbane, as you might expect from that medium.

MP said that he couldn't see why homosexuality and transgender were lumped together, as he and other gay men very much enjoyed being men and didn't identify at all with the idea of wanting to be the other sex.

Perfectly sensible comment made perfectly pleasantly and sensibly, it seemed to me.

So, you're certainly far from being alone in thinking this.

nopeni · 13/09/2018 12:50

No they don't. That's just something the Internet has repeated over and over.

Current quoted suicide stats aren't reliable (small group, poor data); they're irresponsibly quoted everywhere (suicide contagion issue); and finally and considering that trans people are often gay and autistic, if you did get good data you'd have to compare it to those groups too and ask for the real reasons behind it.

LemonScentedStickyBat · 13/09/2018 12:52

Happy for T to be included in overall campaigns. Very unhappy at the tendency for everyone under the banner to be described as “queer”.

Babdoc · 13/09/2018 12:52

It’s not a competition, Threeankle, but women suffer a lot more discrimination than TRAs. Two of us a week are murdered by our male partners. Many more are raped, groped, beaten, passed over for promotions, underpaid compared to men, expected to do all the unpaid emotional labour in society and relationships. And now we are told to shut up and allow any man who claims to be trans into our changing rooms, violence refuges and toilets.
TRAs on the other hand are feted in the media, respectfully listened to, and told they are “brave and stunning” for riding roughshod over women and girls rights to safety, privacy and dignity.

ladydickisathingapparently · 13/09/2018 12:53

No I’m with you. But I also particularly dislike “queer”....old enough to recall when “queerbashing” was considered a fun Saturday night activity by some Sad.

9amtrain · 13/09/2018 12:54

Yanbu.

And I hate Queer.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/09/2018 12:57

ThreeAnkleBiters
That’s part of the story, yes. Now, however, an increasing proportion of trans people are violent and aggressive and accuse (usually) natal women of being so themselves, when nothing could be further from the truth. Lesbians especially are having a hard time because strangely they don’t want to sleep with trans women as they have a penis. These people are also targeting other trans people / transsexuals with their bile. These are the people, who just want to get on with their life. Personally I don’t feel one jot of sympathy for a person born male, who wants to eradicate and replace me. That’s kill me btw. The trans people who bear me no ill will are welcome in community in my book.

Op I don’t blame you. I read that originally it was the LGB community, who welcomed trans people in as they were being discriminated against and in return are being dictated to now. It’s frightening.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/09/2018 12:57

Oh and I also Hate the term queer. It’s what people used to call gay people when it was considered sordid and dirty.

dracolovesharry · 13/09/2018 12:58

Absolutely this. Trans is a totally different thing, I've never understood why it's lumped together!

When I was a lot younger there was a while I thought the T was for transvestite though. Blush

SPOFS · 13/09/2018 12:58

Under Stonewall's definition of "transgender", 98% of people would be trans. That makes LGBT the majority now

eco1636 · 13/09/2018 12:59

Why does G not cover female has homosexuality, why does it need an L?

bitheby · 13/09/2018 13:00

I quite like queer but understand why people hate it.

I'm bi and YANBU.

bitheby · 13/09/2018 13:01

Why does G not cover female has homosexuality, why does it need an L?

Assume that's a goady comment. Not biting.

BalthazarImpresario · 13/09/2018 13:04

So are you against the pride movement considering it was started by a trans woman? After all you don't want to be limited in with the trans lot?

As this thread is all anecdotal all my friends (and child) who or l, g or b have no issue with the t.

Prestonsflowers · 13/09/2018 13:05

Op
You are definitely not unreasonable

It’s the stomping over all other rights by some that pisses me off.

eco1636 · 13/09/2018 13:09

It’s not goats, as he op introduces herself as gay so that’s not offensive .

DameSylvieKrin · 13/09/2018 13:09

I‘m happy to be in with the ‘T’ and the ‘Q’ but everyone gets to pick their own label so leave those letters out for yourself if you like.
I’m not so happy about members of our community being transphobic and thinking they speak for all of us.

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