To be upset friend has ‘abandoned’ us on holiday

[Abandonedabroad]

My mum has kindly paid for me and my two year old DD to go on holiday to Majorca for my birthday present. I’m a lone parent on a low income and haven’t had a holiday abroad for years nor am I likely to be able to afford one for several more so it’s a huge treat and I have been looking forward to it for many months. My mum has paid for the accommodation for me, DD and a friend and flights for me and DD so friend only had to pay for her flight. I invited one of my best friends to come along. I’ve known her for 13 years, trust her completely, have been on holiday with her before and have never had so much as a cross word let alone an argument with her. She adores DD and is great with her.

Friend wanted to hire a car which I wasn’t bothered about, but she was keen and I offered to go halves but she said she was happy to pay for it as she was getting the holiday free. On that basis I decided to bring DD’s (big, heavy) car seat as it seemed tricky to book one for the hire car and after getting advice on here seemed a better idea overall.

We flew out two days ago. DD had never been on a plane before and was tearful and clingy so it was a huge help to have friend there and would have been a nightmare without her.

We’ve all three of us been suffering with a cold/chesty cough thing since being here but not incapacitated and everyone has been up and about and functioning ok.

Today friend went out for a few hours and on her return announced that she was feeling too unwell, the bed wasn’t comfortable enough and she was going home. I was just in shock and tried asking why but friend just kept repeating she felt ill and was leaving. I got quite panicky and angry and we argued but she’s gone. She took the car seat out of the hire car, brought it up to the apartment and left in the hire car.

I’m just in shock. There’s eight days left of the holiday, I’ve got more luggage than I can carry and I’m on my own with a two year old.

No other friends can come out at short notice.

My boyfriend can’t leave to come here as he’s housesitting. He called my friend to try to figure things out and she said she felt terrible but she had to be by herself and had been dealing with stress building up for a while. I feel bad that she isn’t feeling good but I’m hurt and angry that she’s left me in this situation. I haven’t heard from her since she left this afternoon.

What the fuck do I do? I’ll have to get a taxi to the airport when the time comes but not sure how to book one, it’s a small town and my Spanish is not great.

I would come home early but a) my mum has paid for this and would be really upset so I’m going to have to brave it out and say I had a brilliant time so as not to hurt her feelings and b) leaving early doesn’t actually solve any of the problems of carrying all the stuff and dealing with DD on my own on the plane (she has already informed me several times that she does not like the plane and isn’t going on it 😐) so I might as well stay till the end.

I’m just so bewildered and shocked and perhaps I am being selfish if friend is having some kind of crisis but I just don’t feel like speaking to her again after this

and oh yes - what a poster up thread said - could your mum come out and join you?

Feeling very buoyed up by everyone’s support and suggestions, thank you!

Going to have a glass of the attached (I’m on a budget! ) and try to sleep.

Will update tomorrow - night!

Right Op, I’m going to be blunt here but you need to take a deep breath, stop feeling like your friend has done something dreadful and remember you’ve never had an argument or a problem with each other in 13 years.

I really don’t see what the issue is? Just enjoy your holiday, visit the Waterpark, walk on the beach, go to the Sealife centre and just have fun. Sort stuff out with your mate when you get home- perhaps she’s having some MH issues, a crisis or ongoing health problem she didn’t tell you about and thought she’d be able to still come but couldn’t do it and felt rotten but had to leave. You’re in Majorca; it’s a 2.5 hour flight, you must deal with your daughter day to day so I’m absoleuly sure you can cope with her on a flight for two hours. It’s a massively English tourist area- find a bar or cafe or shop and most of them will speak English and ask for a cab number. Book a cab to the airport in 8 days time. Majorca is only small- the furthest drive if you’re on the opposite side of the island to the airport is only going to be about an hour’s drive.

No, mum can’t come unfortunately, she’s committed to something she can’t get out of

Hi Abandoned,

I used this firm for my taxi trips overseas and they were really efficient. The site is in English and they charge a set price.

www.suntransfers.com/

Try and enjoy the rest of your trip.

Has she really gone home though? Is it that easy to get a flight within an hour or two? I suspect she's met someone (a bloke perhaps) and has gone off with him. She may well turn up again, if not today, then perhaps at the airport for the homeward journey. Its an awful way to treat you though

Which airline are you flying with OP?

You'll be fine on your own. Just have to get with it really, as no other choice! Hope you and the little one have a lovely holiday together.

I always used to bribe toddler DS with a Ryanair snack pack - the adult one with the pate, crackers, mini mars bar etc. It kept him quiet for a good hour fiddling with and unwrapping all the little packets.
My other tip is to get off the plane last. The crew always helped me with my luggage.

To be honest, it didn't sound like much of a holiday for her at all!!!

Maybe it all got too much, after all, 2 year olds are testing at best of times

I asked my spanish learning teen if she could translate a message for you to the taxi company if you need to book in spanish. She suggested something along the lines of
'My friend has left unexpectedly, i need to book a taxi to the airport on the 20th September, can you help. thank you very much'

which is roughly

Mi amigo ha dejado inesperadamente, necesito reservar un taxi para el aeropuerto el 20 de Septiembre, pueden ayudarme? Muchas gracias

After reading your original post my first thought was your friend may have panicked about feeling ill and thought something was up along the lines of the couple who died a few weeks back in that hotel in Egypt...? Perhaps strange she didn't share this with you if it was her reason for bolting, but maybe she got really scared for some reason.
I hope you get to the bottom of it, but that's for when you get back. For now have a nice holiday.

You will be fine OP. Get a taxi booked tomorrow and then you can put it to the back of your mind and get on with enjoying your holiday with your daughter. The taxi driver will help you load the luggage into the taxi. Once at the airport get a trolley for the luggage, there will be plenty of people around who will assist you.

Spanish people tend to be helpful and friendly, especially to children - don't be afraid to ask for help.

You'll be ok op - be brave!

I’d this scenario had happened to me then my OP would be wildly different to yours. My priority would be making sure my friend of 13 years was ok and finding out where she was, why she’d had to leave and if she needed some support. Jesus.

Kind of agree there 7

After booking your taxi I'd make a note of the taxi firm number and reconfirm early on the actual day just in case your booking happened to disappear in the system (hopefully unlikely!) I'm sure it will be fine but as it's in a week's time I'd do it for peace of mind.

I'd hazard a guess that the person answering the phone of a tourist-centric taxi firm in Majorca would have okay English

Never go away with friends when you have a child/children and they don't. Rule number one.

Rule 2. Some people can be assholes when away.

Rule 3. Wave bye bye and enjoy the time left with your gorgeous child. All will be well in the end.

Great suggestions op, you will be fine. Re the flight, just expect it to be a few hours of misery then you’ll be home. That way you won’t be disappointed by it! Take a couple of muesli / snack bars as well as the toddler snacks as it might be easier for you to just grab one of those than get food in the airport / on a plane.
I know where all my carry on is packed and when I board just have the essentials to grab for keeping on the seat - toddler snacks and games , water, my phone tissues lip balm etc. Nappy change stuff and a change of clothes immediately overhead to grab if needed.

You don't need to know Spanish at all to get by perfectly fine. Just download the google translate app.

Ask your host to order you a taxi. You will be able to manage the flight fine on your own.

Don't worry about your friendship for now. Just enjoy some downtime in the sun and spend time with your child.

My friend did something similar when we went away. Neither of us had children at the time but she later claimed she missed her boyfriend too much to stay away from him. We were on holiday for ONE week! People are very odd.

Given this is going to be ops only holiday in many years. I think wasting time on a person who could have said she wasn’t going to go 2 days before would be a waste of time.

It might seem harsh but for you, your dd and your dms (who paid for this holiday) sake. Enjoy the rest of your time there and worry about going home when the time comes.

7togo I'm not sure what the Op can do to make sure her friend is ok? The woman has driven away and Op is alone in another country with her 2 year old, if friend needs support the Op isn't now in any position to provide it.

Abandoned don't stress about the return journey. As pps have said you won't have any problem booking a taxi. I'd suggest allowing plenty of time so you're not under pressure getting there, through security etc. Drop your luggage and go for breakfast/lunch and about 20 mins before the flight give dd a dose of calpol or similar as it's probably the pressure causing pain in her ears.

I'd be shocked and upset too given what's happened but don't let it ruin the rest of your holiday.

TBH, it sounds like she had a difficult flight next to a 2-year-old, then said 2-year-old made her ill (let's face it, children are germ magnets, your DD probably picked up something and passed it onto both of you) and she felt expected to ferry you around in a car despite feeling awful. I get that she normally has a really good relationship with your DD, but if there was anything else going on in her life, all of those things could have been the straw that broke the camel's back. Maybe she thought this was a great opportunity for a little holiday away from her problems at home, then she just ended up feeling ill and tired in a strange place.

You are absolutely not reasonable to wish you had another adult there with you - it does make it easier when there are two of you - but to describe it as abandonment is unreasonable. Have you been in touch with her yourself since to find out what's really wrong? If not, she's the one who's made a cry for help and been abandoned. She isn't a friend with form for shitty behaviour, she's a good friend who is acting out of character. That deserves the benefit of the doubt.

I would send her a short text along of the lines of 'Really sorry the holiday didn't go as planned and I clearly missed you had things going on of your own. Shall we get together for a catch up when I'm back? Let me know when you're free to grab a coffee. Not mad at all, just worried about you! X'

Separately... enjoy your holiday. You've had some really good advice. I know it isn't what you thought it would be, but you are somewhere lovely with your DD and it's a good chance to spend some quality time together and enjoy her company. If you start telling yourself it's a lovely holiday after all, I'm sure you'll start to believe it.

Deal with the flight as it comes, try to make it an adventure for DD but also, if she kicks off for the entire flight, it’s a short flight with strangers that you’ll never have to see again. Just focus on you and her.

We always found kids magazines good with a free toy and stickers inside. Language won’t matter as she can’t read it.

Don’t get toys that can roll off down the aisle.

You’ll be ok.

I am with those who think abandonment is a bit much. It sounds like you invited your friend around to babysit YOU and to help with luggage. As someone who has travelled many times internationally with two kids (including at the baby and toddler stage) this seems like a massive overreaction. Yes it will be a horrid flight back, perhaps but it’s under 3 hours and you won’t see those people again.
You are on a small island with a large tourist intake. Surely finding a taxi won’t be hard?
It sounds like OP’s friend thought you guys would fly out together but she would have her freedom to do what she wished to, and then realised that really she didn’t. And then she fell ill and just felt trapped and wanted to get the hell out of there.

I mean, think of it written like this. My friend’s mum booked us an Airbnb so I could go on holiday with her daughter and granddaughter. I paid for my flight and the hire car. The flight out was horrendous because the granddaughter was upset all the way through. My friend seems to want to do everything with me and I find it a bit stifling. Then we all fell ill and I thought I had had enough. My friend is an adult and she can look after her own DD perfectly adequately so I told her I was leaving. She got hysterical about a car seat and how much luggage she had. She wouldn’t see my point of view and tried to get her boyfriend to pressurise me to stay on this doomed holiday. AIBU to leave?