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Original poster

To be upset friend has ‘abandoned’ us on holiday

540 replies

Abandonedabroad · 12/09/2018 22:20

My mum has kindly paid for me and my two year old DD to go on holiday to Majorca for my birthday present. I’m a lone parent on a low income and haven’t had a holiday abroad for years nor am I likely to be able to afford one for several more so it’s a huge treat and I have been looking forward to it for many months. My mum has paid for the accommodation for me, DD and a friend and flights for me and DD so friend only had to pay for her flight. I invited one of my best friends to come along. I’ve known her for 13 years, trust her completely, have been on holiday with her before and have never had so much as a cross word let alone an argument with her. She adores DD and is great with her.

Friend wanted to hire a car which I wasn’t bothered about, but she was keen and I offered to go halves but she said she was happy to pay for it as she was getting the holiday free. On that basis I decided to bring DD’s (big, heavy) car seat as it seemed tricky to book one for the hire car and after getting advice on here seemed a better idea overall.

We flew out two days ago. DD had never been on a plane before and was tearful and clingy so it was a huge help to have friend there and would have been a nightmare without her.

We’ve all three of us been suffering with a cold/chesty cough thing since being here but not incapacitated and everyone has been up and about and functioning ok.

Today friend went out for a few hours and on her return announced that she was feeling too unwell, the bed wasn’t comfortable enough and she was going home. I was just in shock and tried asking why but friend just kept repeating she felt ill and was leaving. I got quite panicky and angry and we argued but she’s gone. She took the car seat out of the hire car, brought it up to the apartment and left in the hire car.

I’m just in shock. There’s eight days left of the holiday, I’ve got more luggage than I can carry and I’m on my own with a two year old.

No other friends can come out at short notice.

My boyfriend can’t leave to come here as he’s housesitting. He called my friend to try to figure things out and she said she felt terrible but she had to be by herself and had been dealing with stress building up for a while. I feel bad that she isn’t feeling good but I’m hurt and angry that she’s left me in this situation. I haven’t heard from her since she left this afternoon.

What the fuck do I do? I’ll have to get a taxi to the airport when the time comes but not sure how to book one, it’s a small town and my Spanish is not great.

I would come home early but a) my mum has paid for this and would be really upset so I’m going to have to brave it out and say I had a brilliant time so as not to hurt her feelings and b) leaving early doesn’t actually solve any of the problems of carrying all the stuff and dealing with DD on my own on the plane (she has already informed me several times that she does not like the plane and isn’t going on it 😐) so I might as well stay till the end.

I’m just so bewildered and shocked and perhaps I am being selfish if friend is having some kind of crisis but I just don’t feel like speaking to her again after this

OP posts:
Original poster
Abandonedabroad · 13/09/2018 08:36

Thank you! I’m getting quotes for around €80 for one way taxi to airport from Portocolom from hoppa and sun transfers- does that sound about right?

The sun is definitely helping!

OP posts:
proudestofmums · 13/09/2018 08:39

Not time to read the full thread so sorry if this has been covered - but, if all 3 flights were booked together should you check that you two will still be able to fly if she’s a no show? I haven’t yet had the morning caffeine so apologies if this is a daft suggestion

proudestofmums · 13/09/2018 08:39

Posted too soon - meant to clarify - if she has cancelled her return flight, make sure that doesn’t automatically cancel yours

Penfold007 · 13/09/2018 08:45

I wonder if the friend really has gone home and not just had a 'better offer'?

sueelleker · 13/09/2018 08:46

Inceywincy; How could your friend just 'take' your hotel room?

LoniceraJaponica · 13/09/2018 08:46

“Ignore the unconstructive comments from the 'I took my quintuplet toddlers backpacking in Outer Mongolia and it was fine so MAN UP' crowd, op. I get how you feel - I've got a husband and 2 DC and am perfectly capable of managing them both on my own, but the notion of managing them on my own far away from home does make me nervous.”

Well said ContessasGulagSpaDay

I would have been taken aback as well. How did the “friend” manage to get a flight so quickly? Did she actually get home?

proudestofmums that’s a worrying thought. It would be easy enough for the OP to check her flights online though.

Even if the “friend” is suffering from some kind of mental crisis I still think it was a shitty thing for her to do.

stringchild · 13/09/2018 08:47

Hi lots of local Majorcan taxis function on WhatsApp - find the number (will be easy on google) and book via that if you are worried re Spanish speak8ng. Palma is easy - taxi will drop you where there are trolleys and will help; it’s in their interests to help you get sorted quickly plus generally Majorcan taxis are very helpful . Try to enjoy your hols - sounds like your friend is not in a great place and didn’t realise until there; it won’t be about you.

stringchild · 13/09/2018 08:48

Abandon - do try to book direct as those prices are very high

DGRossetti · 13/09/2018 08:52

Google Translate has a great feature (when it's got the language installed) that you can point your camera at signs (menus, etc) and it'll render it into English. Makes getting around much easier.

Hope you can look back on this and smile ...

Balaboosteh · 13/09/2018 08:54

You’re in such a lovely place. Use the fact that you need to do a taxi to get talking to people down at the pool, on the beach. In fact, take a taxi into the nearest town - Santanyi is lovely - or go to a beach up the coast - Mondrago or samarador are lovely. Then you can book a transfer in person with the driver and you will have some use out of your car seat! I know this area very well, most people speak some English and there is such a positive and friendly culture. Go to the same bar or restaurant several times so you get familiar faces. Have fun! And if you go to Mondrago have a drink in the hotel, tell Jose, Sebastia or Yolanda that I sent you and he’ll put it on my tab for next year! (I’ve got twins and go there with a tall man for purpose of identification!)

Rudgie47 · 13/09/2018 08:58

It sounds to me that she couldn't cope being with a toddler all the time. Some people cant, but she should have thought about that beforehand really.Its better that she took herself off home as opposed to getting into an argument with OP or losing her temper etc.
If she was suffering from stress anyway even a little thing would make it much worse.
OP have you got your taxi/transport sorted now? Once that's done you can crack on and enjoy your holiday. Don't go on holiday with her again though.

Hersetta427 · 13/09/2018 08:58

yes that sounds right - we have paid €180 return to sa Coma

Luvly12 · 13/09/2018 08:58

I hope your friend is ok

Womaningreen · 13/09/2018 08:59

I'm more concerned about your friend.

you sound like you can't really manage alone. What would you have done if she had been really ill or something?

for a single parent to be flapping about luggage and taxis sounds odd.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 13/09/2018 09:00

Why the assumption that the friend is having a mental health crisis? Op doesn’t even know if she’s gone home, just that she said she was going.
Probably having a high old time in a private villa with someone she met when she was out earlier.
Selfish cow.
Op will probably see her looking sheepish on the flight home.

fieryginger · 13/09/2018 09:01

I don't know who advised you to take the car seat, but it's a bit over the top to take one, you can hire them.

That doesn't help you now though. Your friend might be dealing with some MH problems that she doesn't feel comfortable sharing, if she's saying it's stress related.

I'm sure the hotel reception can help you book a taxi.

Such a shame for all of you that this has happened. You are wise in thinking you should brave it out. For all you must be feeling hurt, try and have as good a time as you can whilst you are there. 💐

Luvly12 · 13/09/2018 09:02

Selfish cow??
You don't know that.
There may be good reason why she left. Or not. But I would hold off on the name calling until it's clarified that she's ok and what happened

Bestseller · 13/09/2018 09:03

I haven't read the whole thread but it think if it's out of character you have to accept that friend is in a bad way and did what she had to do. It's a shame for you of course but you need to concentrate on getting on with your holiday and deal with the friend issues when you get home.

If the only reason bf can't come out is housesitting then sod that, he should come. Unless it's a very new relationship, it's odd that he doesn't

Womaningreen · 13/09/2018 09:04

also OP was saying she wasn't bothered about the hire car

but now seems panicky that there's no one to drive her around.

LoniceraJaponica · 13/09/2018 09:05

"for a single parent to be flapping about luggage and taxis sounds odd."

To be suddenly thrown into this situation is completely different from organising a holiday like this in the first place. I am a pretty confident traveller, but even I would have been thrown by this. You aren't very sympathetic Hmm

I think it is the not knowing and having no explanation that makes things worse. I really feel the "friend" owes the OP an explanation.

Jackietheduck · 13/09/2018 09:07

You have a week long holiday. Please do not keep worrying about getting a taxi to the airport. You are not in a rickshaw country! You sound unnecessarily agitated about getting a car to the airport.

Ignoramusgiganticus · 13/09/2018 09:11

It's good you sound more positive now. With the right attitude you can have a lovely holiday on your own.

Where did she go for those few hours? If she was struggling with her mental health surely she would have said more than she did. It does sound strange. I'd bet she is still in Majorca too.

LoniceraJaponica · 13/09/2018 09:11

OP I'm sorry that there are a lot of hard hearted unsympathtic posters on here. They are probably seasoned travellers who don't understand what it is like to have someone disappear on them during a holiday. I hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday.

powerwalk · 13/09/2018 09:14

Your friend may not have liked the air bnb, realised the reality of being on holiday with a sickly toddler and the bad weather and high tailed it home. I am not sure she would have understood (if she doesn't have dc) what a vulnerable position she has left you in, either that or didn't care and put her own needs first. She doesn't have to have had a mental health issue to simply up and go. I would reserve judgement until you see her again (IF you ever see her again that is)

This can be a good and happy experience for you op. Once your transport is organised home you can relax and enjoy the time with your little dd. It may give you the confidence to do it again and be more independent.

Relax today, play with dd, sit in the sun and allow your cares to slowly ebb away. You are in such a safe country with lovely kind people around you. We are all here to help out virtually.

I have travelled with both mine alone when they were tiny, and you just need to be super prepared, super cheerful and see it as an adventure rather than an endurance. Why not play a game that your dd will drive the plane home and she can do special hand movements, and perhaps you can make her some props in the next few days. Make sure you have lollipops to suck and remember it is just under two hours so quick and easy!

You may well gain more from this holiday than you imagine. One to one time is what we are all hankering after with our little ones, make the most of it and take lots of photos. This will be a story you will be talking about for years for sure Flowers

MsHomeSlice · 13/09/2018 09:19

for goodness sake, the OP is on holiday, friend has fucked off without a word and OP is in a bit of a state about getting herself, her child, her luggage and a giant car seat to the airport. I'd be concerned about the basic logistics of handling the luggage tbh, and rightly so. OP only has two hands and at my count, she has a minimum of a suitcase, a carseat, a toddler to wrangle. ...plus maybe a buggy, handbag, extra case/child bag

I really am not seeing all this mental health crisis, OP being a needy incompetent parent whose toddler is ruining the holiday.

Hope you get a lovely helpful taxi driver OP and I think you are doing fine so far! Any chance of some sort of travel trolley to get all the luggage together?