To be upset friend has ‘abandoned’ us on holiday

[Abandonedabroad]

My mum has kindly paid for me and my two year old DD to go on holiday to Majorca for my birthday present. I’m a lone parent on a low income and haven’t had a holiday abroad for years nor am I likely to be able to afford one for several more so it’s a huge treat and I have been looking forward to it for many months. My mum has paid for the accommodation for me, DD and a friend and flights for me and DD so friend only had to pay for her flight. I invited one of my best friends to come along. I’ve known her for 13 years, trust her completely, have been on holiday with her before and have never had so much as a cross word let alone an argument with her. She adores DD and is great with her.

Friend wanted to hire a car which I wasn’t bothered about, but she was keen and I offered to go halves but she said she was happy to pay for it as she was getting the holiday free. On that basis I decided to bring DD’s (big, heavy) car seat as it seemed tricky to book one for the hire car and after getting advice on here seemed a better idea overall.

We flew out two days ago. DD had never been on a plane before and was tearful and clingy so it was a huge help to have friend there and would have been a nightmare without her.

We’ve all three of us been suffering with a cold/chesty cough thing since being here but not incapacitated and everyone has been up and about and functioning ok.

Today friend went out for a few hours and on her return announced that she was feeling too unwell, the bed wasn’t comfortable enough and she was going home. I was just in shock and tried asking why but friend just kept repeating she felt ill and was leaving. I got quite panicky and angry and we argued but she’s gone. She took the car seat out of the hire car, brought it up to the apartment and left in the hire car.

I’m just in shock. There’s eight days left of the holiday, I’ve got more luggage than I can carry and I’m on my own with a two year old.

No other friends can come out at short notice.

My boyfriend can’t leave to come here as he’s housesitting. He called my friend to try to figure things out and she said she felt terrible but she had to be by herself and had been dealing with stress building up for a while. I feel bad that she isn’t feeling good but I’m hurt and angry that she’s left me in this situation. I haven’t heard from her since she left this afternoon.

What the fuck do I do? I’ll have to get a taxi to the airport when the time comes but not sure how to book one, it’s a small town and my Spanish is not great.

I would come home early but a) my mum has paid for this and would be really upset so I’m going to have to brave it out and say I had a brilliant time so as not to hurt her feelings and b) leaving early doesn’t actually solve any of the problems of carrying all the stuff and dealing with DD on my own on the plane (she has already informed me several times that she does not like the plane and isn’t going on it 😐) so I might as well stay till the end.

I’m just so bewildered and shocked and perhaps I am being selfish if friend is having some kind of crisis but I just don’t feel like speaking to her again after this

That was a very odd thing to do. You may never understand what exactly was going on with this friend. But as others have said don’t let it spoil your holiday. I hope you and daughter are feeling better and take advantage of this great holiday, it was a lovely gift - enjoy it!

Keep posting here with any issues - you will get loads of support. Park issues with the friend until you are home.

There is a website called shuttlespaintransfers.com - we have used several times in Majorca. It is all in English and you can type in the address you are staying in, and add in notes/ email them in English if you need extra info. You literally don't need to speak a word of Spanish to the driver, they are given all the pick-up/drop-off info before they collect you. Hope you enjoy the rest of your stay!

Ok, forget your friend for now. You and your DD can and will have a good time!

• Is your apartment booked through an agent, can they help you sort local travel arrangements?
• Call airport info: they may have porters or airport concierge service, Could be worth it for a bit of extra cash
• likewise your airline, in case they can offer any extra assistance. In your position I'd very much appeal to the good nature of fellow travellers and staff on the day too, but the more you can get sorted in advance the more you can relax and have some quality time with your DD for the next week.
• if it helps, I think the actual travelling bit is fun for pretty much no-one

Oh OP, that sounds like a shit situation! Your friend hasn't been a great friend either. Really not okay to leave you how she did. I know it must be stressful being in a strange country by yourself, especially with DD! (I have a DD same age so I know I would be stressed as well). The hotel will be able to arrange a taxi for you, so don't worry about that. Don't go home early, you have a chance to spend some uninterrupted, (mostly) stress free time with your DD! In a hot country, with beaches, somebody cooking you every meal and somebody cleaning your room for you. Look at it that way! Enjoy the rest of the time with your DD, the flight will be tough but try not to think about it too much. Keep us updated xx

Oh sorry I've just read you are stopping in an Airbnb. Don't worry, can you find a local restaurant or hotel or something that has some English speakers who could assist you?

Thank you, will keep you updated! I think I’ll organise as much as I can in advance tomorrow then forget about it and just try to enjoy the holiday. Weather was terrible today so hoping for some sun tomorrow!

There are companies that will collect your luggage and deliver to your home if you want to travel with less to worry about. Google university luggage transfers and see if that can help you. Send my bag or uni baggage are two I know about. Good luck, you've got this.

I'd recommend TaxiPMI to get you back to the airport. You can book online and the drivers speak good English. They even rang after dropping us off to say we'd left a dummy behind.

Hi, I know how daunting it is first time but I've gone on holidays with my lo (as a 2 year old and as a 3 year old) and have actually found, once I got used to it, that it's easier/more fun in some ways just the 2 of us. OK so it's rubbish not having another adult to take some of the strain in the day/enjoy evenings with but it means you can take things completely at toddler pace during the day - something which is normally impossible at home because of work/nursery etc. toddlers make the best tourists because they want to look at everything so I found I noticed small things I wouldn't have normally etc. and it is nice to have complete one on one time for so long (though of course it can get exhausting). So maybe if you try to reframe it as an adventure (and also though I hate the phase "making memories") it will help you feel better. Also I was going to suggest asking at a larger hotel for help getting a taxi but I think others suggestions of uber or similar are probably better and more 21st century.

Yes, spend a few hours in the morning organising and then try and enjoy the rest of your holiday. I'm sure when you're on the beach/at the pool there will be some kids around and you can get talking to their parents! I went to Spain with DD who was 18 months at the time and the airport was so helpful! Lots of staff offering assistance, as well as lots of the general public offering assistance with bags etc when on the plane and at the luggage pick up. I was by myself as well. At the pool I managed to make friends with a couple who had two DC's and they invited me out for dinner with them once as well! Hope that reassures you a little

I've lived in Majorca for years - honestly please don't worry ... it will all be fine .. the taxi drivers make their living by taking people to the airport .. I first flew to UK with DD at 9 weeks on my own and many times since !!

Do you want to say where you are staying and we can advise / help further - even the town you are in ?
Meantime try to enjoy your break with your little one

I'd recommend sorting your luggage and sending the excess home separately, too. It'll be a lot easier for you.

Please don't worry (easier said than done) loads of options. Post some stuff home. Pay the charge for over limit luggage ( it's actually not that much) taxi or hotel transfer back to airport. If you organise it soon you can then relax rest of holiday.
There are apps for translating any language, the grammar isn't important the message is.

OP I’m also in Majorca at the moment, for a few days - the weather was terrible today, maybe that’s what pushed your friend over the edge! Hope you’re ok. Feel free to pm me if you need any assistance. Someone I’m with has family who live here so I might be able to get taxi advice etc from them.

Friend appears to have had some sort of breakdown.

I don’t think you need to think about her atm.
Just concentrate on having a good time with your dd.

Google translate is good for trying to make yourself understood and for understanding stuff.

I agree that something serious is obviously going on with your friend. It sounds totally out of character for her. Does she have mental health problems? Do you know where she went when she went you?

Out

Could your mum come out and join you?

Blimey, I'd actually be more worried about the friend.
Have you messaged her to see if she's ok?

What a horribly selfish thing to do, so I assume she bought herself another flight? Anyway, that's all for when you get back but "sorry" wouldn't cut it for me - please protect yourself and DD from this woman when you get back.

In the meantime, do try to enjoy your time and come back and post how things are going - do you think if you went out and about tomorrow you might meet some English speakers around the town? Have you seen any other holidaymakers, or can you do some exploring?

Hi OP, I travelled on a plane on my own with a 2 year old and a 4 year old. Everyone was so helpful, carrying the buggy down stairs for me, and helping when the little one was crying. You will be fine! I don't know any spanish, sorry.

I may be way off track here but wondered if what a previous poster said about sucking lollies helping with the ear problems on a flight would be a help to your daughter? If she was suffering from that but too young to articulate it then any misery she felt on the outward flight could have been made worse?

Enjoy the rest of your holiday. I think your mum sounds lovely - as do you

Just want to offer encouragement OP.
Seriously, enjoy your holiday, no problem is insurmountable. Spain is very civilised and very child friendly, so there is plenty of help all around you.

Oh OP, what a stress. I understand why you're so upset.

Break the journey down into small sections and work out what you can arrange in advance. If you can get the taxi booked that's one less thing to worry about. The major problem is likely to be luggage - especially the car seat. Can you afford to get the car seat sent home separately? If you just have a toddler and a suitcase or two it's doable as people will help - I've been alone in an airport with two suitcases on wheels and a pushchair. Once people helped and once I just managed alone by leaving a lot of time and nudging everything along a few feet at a time. It's hard work but can be done. Get DD to help if you can - frame it as her being your essential helper.

Once you've got the luggage dropped off you can focus on DD. As pp said, get LOTS of lollipops (and snacks, and small new toys, and look at downloading videos and Cbeebies games etc to your phone - there's an app that lets you download Youtube videos for offline viewing, for example). I was once on a flight seated on my own with DS2(2) who kicked off big time and I couldn't get the seatbelt onto him - he was big and strong! A sympathetic parent in the row behind handed him a lollipop and everything was fine. Just take lots of sweets and snacks and insert as appropriate - it doesn't matter if she eats crap all the way home if you survive.

Also, consider the worst case scenario - that DD cries all the way home, and everyone's pissed off. It'll be a nightmare and really hard work, but you'll still both survive. Chances are it won't be as bad as you think it will be. Just remember to pack hand luggage so that you can carry DD if needed.

Good luck - let us know how the holiday and journey home goes.

I agree that you need to park your thoughts about your friend. Maybe some day you'll get to the bottom of it but realistically it's unlikely to happen this week. Lots of good suggestions here for taxis and honestly it will be fine. I know how stressful it is, the thought of being somewhere unfamiliar where you don't speak the language and it is a barrier to getting things organised but stay calm, remember you're in a safe, developed country with functioning services and infrastructure and very little is likely to go wrong. You've already got a plan re the taxi and the journey - you've got this, OP.

One tip I would give is when you're on the plane with your stash of toys and sweets is bring out one thing at a time and make it last as long as possible before bringing out the next one. Make it a personal challenge!

Now go and enjoy your holiday. This is your special time to focus on your dd and reconnect with her and make the most of your mother's lovely gift to you both, in a gorgeous place far away from all the strains and hassles of everyday life.