Aibu to ghost a friend over this!

[Crackedvase]

I became friends with a woman through mutual friends. She is witty, smart and I generally have fun with her, and good conversation when we get together.

However, things are not entirely easy and it seems I'm the problem.

She has asked me repeatedly not to swear in front of her, like at all. I'm no sailor but Im passionate and floral in my conversation! I do try to tone it down, out of respect but it has been brought to my attention that even words like crap, bloody, omg, and damn are included

The other issue is booze. I drink very little (mum of 3, can't cope with hangovers) but when we meet its always in the pub (we meet after kids bedtimes) and on the few occasions where I don't order a coffee or coke etc, perhaps getting a wine or g&t, she has again, pointed out that this upsets her as she is teetotal.

My big girl knickers are on ladies.

Have I no respect? Too much? I'm at an age where I don't want to guard my tongue all the time, and cannot see how a drink offends.

A meet up is coming up. Dreading it, and am considering just letting it float away......

Yanbu

She sounds like hard work. I know I wouldn't bother with her.

If you don't like her stop being friends with her.

I'm intrigued as to why you meet in a pub if she hates drinking?

Ghosting is nasty. Maybe just meet up less often but keep swearing and order what you like.

You is a growed up and as such you is fully entitled to cuss and quaff as you see fit.

Sounds more like a dm than a bff!!

Yanbu if she cant accept you for who you are then she isnt your friend. Yes we may refrain from certain things around certain friends out of respect but bloody hell is there anything that she doest find offensive?

Yes ghosting is nasty. Tell her you feel judged about swearing and drinking and see what her response is.

She has her principals I suppose. I ain't no sailor either but I use lots of F's I don't see crap as a curse either

Unless you are going to have a personality transplant I would let the friendship go, Yes she is fun, you can relate but she has strict instructions. I can't see her having many friends considering she is so controlling,

Sod that. Who is she to dictate to you what ‘rules’ you should follow?!

I’d keep things friendly but I’d stop the pub drinks. I’d hate to sit there feeling judged. She has every right to be teetotal just as you have every right to drink alcohol. Would you say her not drinking affects you?! Of course not!

I’d be tempted to speak a thousand swear words while downing shots!

Nancy I know. It is, I'm just old and tired and being chicken shit. You are right!

YANBU, she sounds like really hard work.

The next time she complains, give her a hard stare and tell her you’re an adult and will swear and drink if you like. One imagines you’re not using appalling swear words if she can’t cope with damn etc? How ridiculous! She doesn’t get to control you and tell you what to do. Who put her in charge?

Is she my MIL?

I wouldn't bother to be honest. Like me for who I am or fuck off ! Cheers.

You can be friends or not, but ghosting is nasty.

Are you sure that you swear and drink as little as you think?

Why is she meeting you on a pub if she's offended by people drinking?

If she tells you your skirt is too short, will you start modifying how you dress?

Get rid. Don't ghost her, tell her you're uncomfortable with the fact that she's fucking critical of you, and you're not a cocking good match.

Ginger I know! I have suggested Costa etc but usually its post kids bedtime and pubs/hotel bars are the option (rural)

I have said! She knows exactly what I'm like, and can laugh at my former antics and i know she is well aware I'm an atheist (she's a strict christian)
Funny- she never mentions my lack of religious fiber.
I won't lie I'm not as feisty as i used to be. 10 years ago I'd have tore her to shreds.

Not bothering to persue a friendship isn’t ghosting. Just say your busy if she tries to arrange things. And if she gets funny tell her the truth as to why- you don’t like being fucking judged when you get shitfaced

Jaxhog sadly, yes. Always driving, always a one drink nursed over the first hour then coffee/soft drink
Haven't been on the lash in years

Don’t ghost, it’s awful, just be busy! If she’s a mutual friend maybe keep it to group meets only?

Cancel by text and say that for you the friendship isn’t working, you are happy with who you are & cant change yourself to be friend so it’s best you agree to differ rather than fall out later.

Be honest,

I’m appalled that a grown woman thinks she can dictate

She clearly doesn't like you very much. Just don't be available again. I would tell her why if she asks though.

Sounds like she isn’t that great a friend if she can accept you being yourself.

Don’t ghost her - the next time she scold you explain you occasional,y swear and occasionally drink. You aren’t going to stop either, if that’s a problem she shouldn’t spend time with you.

Fuck that shit!