Aibu to ghost a friend over this!

[Crackedvase]

I became friends with a woman through mutual friends. She is witty, smart and I generally have fun with her, and good conversation when we get together.

However, things are not entirely easy and it seems I'm the problem.

She has asked me repeatedly not to swear in front of her, like at all. I'm no sailor but Im passionate and floral in my conversation! I do try to tone it down, out of respect but it has been brought to my attention that even words like crap, bloody, omg, and damn are included

The other issue is booze. I drink very little (mum of 3, can't cope with hangovers) but when we meet its always in the pub (we meet after kids bedtimes) and on the few occasions where I don't order a coffee or coke etc, perhaps getting a wine or g&t, she has again, pointed out that this upsets her as she is teetotal.

My big girl knickers are on ladies.

Have I no respect? Too much? I'm at an age where I don't want to guard my tongue all the time, and cannot see how a drink offends.

A meet up is coming up. Dreading it, and am considering just letting it float away......

Zippety has it spot on.

But I do love Mrs Mozart 😝

If she were someone you were dating we'd all be telling you she's controlling, which she is. I'd tell her I'm only going to continue the friendship if she can accept the way you are as you're not changing for her.

Im going to leave it, be honest and let her say her piece

What do you mean OP? Are you going to let her continue dictating to you?

Life is too short to do non essential stuff that we dread doing. Ditch it and instead do non essential stuff that you love to do.

Ghosting people is a cunt’s trick. Don’t ever try to justify it. Be a real person and tell her why you don’t want to spend time with her any more.

What ShamelesslyPlacemarking said.

Friends accept you for who you are. The only time I’ve EVER called a friend on something it’s been extreme. E.g a friend of mine said something appalling to her ex’s new partner and I just had to tell her that in my opinion it was a really dickish thing to do. Most of the time I keep my own counsell because friends come with faults. Don’t change.

Don't ghost or text.

Just speak to her along the lines of "you know I do like you a lot and appreciate our friendship but I feel rather judged about the drinking and swearing, and I feel I can't be myself around you." Then stop talking and see what she says.

How is her Christianity tied up with her disapproval btw? I'm half Irish and Catholic and we all tend to drink and swear rather a lot!

Judge not and all of that... best way to go if you ask me.

If she's an evangelist she may be trying to 'tidy you up' before you're invited to meet her friends. You probably need to make very clear that you neither wish, nor need, to change anything at all.