To not want visit family 2 days after being home

[whyohwhyyy]

Came home from hospital Sunday night after having DD emergency c section.

OH family have offered to come here but it's to much we have a tiny living room and there's 7 of them coming.
4 of us here

So I agreed to go to his mums but now I just don't fancy it I want to be st home with my kids.

Now he's saying he will just take her on his own then I don't understand why they just can't wait until I feel better I hate feeling pressured.

You've had major stomach surgery!!
Don't gp anywhere!
Don't let anyone part you from baby

Don’t go anywhere! Fuck that for a laugh.

How about they have a little grace and let you recover after your major surgery.

Honestly what is wrong with people.

No, call them back and say that you are absolutely wiped, and won't be up to going out or having a crowd around for a while yet.

it's too much to expect this of you

Speaking from hospital having overdone it after a vaginal delivery... stay exactly where you are! Can they visit in smaller groups?

I get it.

But why not like your OH take her to see his family like he suggested and you stay at home and just rest?

What, take a 6 / 7 day old baby away from his mum / source of food (I am assuming). Nah! Let them wait a little bit. They are adults, they'll WILL understand (even if your DH has to shout)

Just no its too much for you to deal with just now, you need time to heal and congratulations

VerWrong removing a newborn from their mother, unless the family live next door, is a shitty thing to do. If the baby is breadtfed it'll interfere with establishing breast feeding, and at days old the milk may only just have come in and the baby be feeding all the time.

I'd have felt as if someone was proposing to remove my leg if they'd tried to take my newborn away to visit anyone more than a few hundred meters away.

You don't need 7 people gawping at you after major surgery. Your husband should not be disappearing anywhere with or without baby, he should be waiting on you! I've had an emergency c section. I couldn't even lift the baby up to feed her without my husband's help for the first few days. They are all being ridiculous. How can he even think of parting you from your baby so soon, just to please somebody else!

Yanbu at all.

It's fine to have changed your mind. You're not up to. Let them come to you if you feel OK with it otherwise put them off with the truth - you've just had a baby.

Congratulations!

Stay where you are you've just had major surgery, I didn't go visiting until at least a week after mine! Also I wouldn't have been comfortable for DH to take baby to go see them at such a young age, at 2 days old they need their mother.
Even they really must visit and you're happy to let them break it up into smaller groups rather than all 7 descending on you at once and tell them it's an hour max visiting time (or whatever length of time you can manage).
Congratulations and look after yourself

What is it with some people thinking they can take a newborn away from its mother to go on a completely unnecessary visit and expect someone who has just underwent major surgery to be up to hosting visitors? Your DH should be helping you - not being a useless twat! Tell him if he wants to go see them so much that he can go alone.

What on earth are OH and his family thinking of? So selfish. You've now been bulldozed into going to them. Advice? Do not go. Keep baby with you. They need to back off. Sure they want to see the baby but it has to be on your terms and when you are ready. OH = selfish git. He needs to grow a spine and have some consideration for you, it's not like you've had a tooth out, you've had major surgery and need to rest. Anyway, this is a special time when you want to get to know your baby and vice versa. Be strong if you can.

Nope. You don't need any hassle like this for a couple of weeks.

Also, physically you shouldn't - you've had major surgery and should be on bed rest. And a 2 day old baby shouldn't be out of your sight for more than an hour.

(No harm having an hour or two to yourself to sleep if the baby is feeding well and they live around the corner AND you can trust your DP to bring the baby straight back.)

Now he's pissed of at me saying he's not a mind reader and I should of said it before. It's just funny you have the baby and no one even bothers to ask how you are anymore.

I've not even managed to have a shower yet

But the baby is presumably too small to be around strangers anyway - no injections yet etc?

No she's 6 days old

he's not a mind reader

No, but he is an adult he should have some basic common sense and care for his partner's wellbeing.

My partner took our 7 day old baby to visit friends as i wanted to stay at home.

I was breastfeeding, they were only gone 2 hours and baby was feeding every 3 hours so fed her before and once they were back.

I also left my baby with her dad when she was about 2 weeks old to get my hair done. Why does the mum need to be attached 24/7 to the baby?

Skype /video call and tell them to be bloody thankful.

@whyohwhyyy why haven't you had a shower? Just give baby to partner or pop on a changing mat on bathroom floor while you sort yourself out

I had my baby by emergency section on the Sunday and still felt horrendous on the Tuesday, I was still in hospital and had my first shower and almost passed out. It was my first day out of bed too- I know they usually get you up and about but I was really ill. So YANBU at all. You need the rest and don't need to be parted from your baby so soon

These threads come up time and time again and really it doesn't matter what anyone on here thinks. If there is a family member upset that they can't see the new baby, you can't turn around and say "well mumsnet thinks you're being unreasonable". I don't think it would have much effect! This is for you and your OH to discuss and come up with a compromise. The other thing you don't need when just having had a baby is an argument with your OH over visiting! Discuss it calmly together and come up with a solution.

Congratulations on your new baby

He's not a mind reader - that's his response? How about he gets a dose of cop the fuck on - ask him how he would feel about travelling to see people after having major abdominal surgery? What a fucking idiot. Anybody with half a brain cell would realise that somebody who is still in recovery after a c-section is not going to be rushing off to visit people.

But the baby is presumably too small to be around strangers anyway - no injections yet etc?

I took my babies to loads of different places before their injections... especially DD2 as I couldn’t expect DD1 (20 months) to sit around at home for 8 weeks! We went to cafes, friends houses, soft play, baby groups, nursery run etc.