Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at a nurse ‘kissing her teeth’ at me?

198 replies

FairyF1 · 11/09/2018 01:43

My father is in dialysis today. He hasn’t been well and there have been problems with patient transport so I left work early to help him. When I arrived at the hospital a nurse , before even introducing herself, started shouting at me in front of all the patients saying that my father had been difficult and was very demanding. This is not like him at all (he’s deaf , blind and hemiplegic) I asked him what was up and he showed me that he had been incontinent and left to sit in it (he said for hours). The nurse started shouting (in front of the ward) about how busy she was and started ‘kissing her teeth at me’. I was lost for words. I know she must be under a lot of pressure but was surprised that she had totally lost it in front of everyone. I do also think that someone in a professional position shouldn’t suck their teeth at you- i did ask her to stop but she wouldn’t. What would you do? I think sucking you teeth at an elderly and ill man is especially rude.

OP posts:
Snipples · 11/09/2018 07:36

I'd never heard of this at all. I just had to google it. I grew up in Northern Ireland. Never seen it before. Seriously not everyone has the same experiences as everyone else - it's not that difficult to understand!

Fresta · 11/09/2018 07:37

I suck my teeth when someone asks me what I think of something before giving a somewhat negative response,

e.g. in a shop my friend tries something on and says, "What do you think of this?", I would suck my teeth briefly before saying: it's ok, I'm not sure about the colour on you etc.

SoupDragon · 11/09/2018 07:37

Where the fuck do ppl live that they don't know what teeth kissing is?

South London. Why, where the fuck to you live?

Funicorn · 11/09/2018 07:37

Home2018 menacing ? Don't understand it ? What a joke ....I lived and worked in Caribbean communities for years and know exactly what it means . Sucking your teeth is a situation like this is not light hearted and it is as unprofessional as eye rolling or saying FGS.

StrangeLookingParasite · 11/09/2018 07:38
is a pretty comprehensive run-down on teeth-kissing, or le tchipe. (In French, though)
Collaborate · 11/09/2018 07:41

I can understand the upset caused by seeing a relative left in insanitary conditions. To focus on the teeth kissing (I too thought WTF is that - on viewing the video I still fail to see a problem with it) is to warp priorities and focus on entirely the wrong thing.

ILovePierceBrosnan · 11/09/2018 07:43

Please complain formally to ward manager or PALs

FunkyHeroCat · 11/09/2018 07:44

Take her name and make a complaint through PALS (Patient Advice And Liaison Service). It doesn't matter how busy she is, she's failing in her duty of care and then being rude and shouting at you.

I work for the NHS, and I know that everyone is stressed, but they shouldn't be taking it out on patients and their relatives!

Honeyroar · 11/09/2018 07:44

I've never heard of teeth kissing before, but Im imagining WhyohSky is doing it while she reads all these "idiot's" comments.

Why are people so annoyed/irritated that people haven't experienced teeth kissing?? Have some patience, you sound a right grumpy lot!

Havaina · 11/09/2018 07:45

The nurse left a deaf, blind, hemiplegic man sitting in his own piss and yet you're annoyed that she kissed her teeth?

I'm struggling to believe this happened or happened the way you describe. Any normal person would be raging at the hospital about their father left in his own piss, not complaining to Mumsnet that you're 'annoyed' that a nurse kissed her teeth.

ineedaholidaynow · 11/09/2018 07:48

I have never heard of teeth kissing. I assumed it meant teeth sucking. But as others have said, seems a strange thing to focus on

Littlechocola · 11/09/2018 07:49

Complain. No one should treat you or your relative like that.
Go through PALS.

MargaretDribble · 11/09/2018 07:50

OP he wasn't in Watford General was he?
I witnessed a similar thing where a nurse was complaining about 'having to put up with' a confused patient who tried to use a urine bottle and missed. His family were there. If it had been my DF I would have complained, but it has stuck with me.
Teeth sucking is a sign of disrespect, often used deliberately to provoke a reaction.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 11/09/2018 07:54

I've never heard of it or encountered this either. I live in the South East and worked in London for 20 years. Where do people live who do know what this means? Why do you think people who don't know what this is are pretending? I'm baffled to be honest!

Thelastredwinegum · 11/09/2018 07:55

Where the fuck do ppl live that they don't know what teeth kissing is?

Rural Lincolnshire 🤷🏻‍♀️

FunkyHeroCat · 11/09/2018 08:00

Why is everyone caught up on the teeth sucking? I live in London, I thought everyone here knew what it meant (it's a bit like eye rolling).

The main thing isn't that she kissed her teeth, it's that he left an old man who was deaf and blind and has health issues unchanged and then blamed him for being 'difficult'.

If she hadn't done that, she could suck her teeth all she wanted!

FunkyHeroCat · 11/09/2018 08:03

Maybe what people don't want to point out is that it's a cultural thing which seems to be done mainly by people from Jamaica/West Indies.

NorthernLurker · 11/09/2018 08:04

Does your dad still pass good volumes of urine then? That's relatively unusual in dialysis patients. The majority will pass very little urine owing to the kidneys not working. That doesn't excuse him being left in it but may explain to some degree.

necromumda · 11/09/2018 08:05

I had no idea what teeth kissing was. Was I the only one sitting here trying to kiss my teeth to see what it was?

Anyway, equal bad experience, minus teeth kissing, in an NHS Hospital today. 4-bed bay, one left in wee for hours, another left on a bedpan for a good 20 minutes after finishing, one man decided to leave as he had been nil by mouth for days waiting for an endoscopy. Nurses weren't rude as such but weren't doing a lot.

necromumda · 11/09/2018 08:06

oops, I mean yesterday..life is a blur

SoupDragon · 11/09/2018 08:07

Does your dad still pass good volumes of urine then?

To be fair, she didn’t say it was urine.

NorthernLurker · 11/09/2018 08:10

No she didn’t say it was urine but it must be if he was left in it because to be frank the smell would be overwhelming if it was a bowel movement and the other patient s would make their feelings clear.

Imamouseduh · 11/09/2018 08:11

Well it’s not like tutting or sucking your teeth while you think; it’s a very disrespectful thing to do. I’d say way worse than eye rolling. Because it has inherent meanings; I always think of it as being a very nuanced way of saying ‘fuck you, I don’t respect you.’

DrinkReprehensibly · 11/09/2018 08:12

I've literally never heard of teeth kissing/sucking and even having watched the video it seems alien to me. Never witnessed anyone do it. I'm from the North West and now live in the south west.

Besides that, YANBU. Definitely complain.

Piffle11 · 11/09/2018 08:16

This is how she treats vulnerable patients and their relatives? Disgraceful. My friend's Grandmother was very ill in hospital: family visiting her and she had wet the bed. Friend's DF (who is old himself) tells nurse. She walks out … nothing happens, so he goes to look for her. Finds her talking about her new curtains to colleague: says 'excuse me', etc, tells her again. Without looks at him, she reaches for a roll of kitchen roll type stuff, and waves it in his direction. All the while talking about curtains. As he walks off, one of them tuts. Friend's family never complained, as they were reluctant to in case nothing happened and it affected DGM's care, but they always wish they had.