To be annoyed at a nurse ‘kissing her teeth’ at me?

[FairyF1]

My father is in dialysis today. He hasn’t been well and there have been problems with patient transport so I left work early to help him. When I arrived at the hospital a nurse , before even introducing herself, started shouting at me in front of all the patients saying that my father had been difficult and was very demanding. This is not like him at all (he’s deaf , blind and hemiplegic) I asked him what was up and he showed me that he had been incontinent and left to sit in it (he said for hours). The nurse started shouting (in front of the ward) about how busy she was and started ‘kissing her teeth at me’. I was lost for words. I know she must be under a lot of pressure but was surprised that she had totally lost it in front of everyone. I do also think that someone in a professional position shouldn’t suck their teeth at you- i did ask her to stop but she wouldn’t. What would you do? I think sucking you teeth at an elderly and ill man is especially rude.

Oh your poor dad :(

Complain about her but make the compliant very factual , keep it concise

Less is more when it comes to this . You want her taken aside and not sacked !

Nurses are human and
Not all are kind ministering angels

Just out in some factual feedback that you can stand behind

And yeah trim the tooth kissing in the feedback . I am guessing the nurse was (maybe) black and it could look racist . Focus on the facts not the teeth kissing . It’s a sign of many things and your feedback can probably stand without it

stop It IS racist, isn’t it? I always thought it was.

Well the fact that she focussed in the tooth kissing so much is a bit telling

But the nurse did misbehave too

So ....

Can't stand people who kiss their teeth at others! It's so disrespectful and always done by the biggest gobshites/ morons who can't articulate themselves properly.

Fuck her, she's a disgrace, no one deserves to be spoken to or treated like you or your father were regardless of how stressed/ amount of pressure she's under. End of the day it's her job and if she can't cope then she shouldn't be in that position.

Complain and as PP have said, although my blood would be boiling, try to keep calm and factual as possible and definitely mention the teeth kissing (and what to the poster bringing race in to this???! Kissing the teeth is as good as sticking your middle finger up at someone and should be addressed regardless of your ethnicity)

Just look at all the idiots pretending they don’t know what this expression means . As someone upthread said, have a quick Google before being so disdainful and showing your ignorance.

OP - absolutely unacceptable. I’d be looking to move him elsewhere.

That is disgraceful, I'd complain

I don’t agree

Tooth kissing can cover exasperation , to annoyance . And can be used between people that care ! I think if OP
Focusses in it it will descrédit a valid piece of professional feedback

That’s what I think anyway

What's racist?

Surprised at how many people don't know what it is to kiss your teeth! Learn something new every day...

Its the same as going 'pffft' is it then? as that's only thing similar l can think of and I've not seen anyone do what they are doing in those links

It IS rather disdainful to call people idiots for not knowing an obscure phrase.

I really want to know where OP lives.

Did the patient sit in own waste b/c he couldn't' be moved during dialysis?
Why would a nurse angrily shout at someone who wasn't even present when the patient was being difficult?
I wonder what the patient did that was demanding and difficult.
Did the nurse suck her teeth at OP or at the patient?

Contact PALs first thing this morning and then draft a full letter of complaint and send it to the chief exec. It’s unacceptable and needs a full investigation but there also needs to be an immediate complaint today as a nurse leaving vulnerable patients in wet clothes is awful.

Just look at all the idiots pretending they don’t know what this expression means

Look at the idiots pretending they don’t understand that not everyone knows everything.

I didn’t know what it actually was, only a vague idea and that it was rude.

Teeth kissing is as rude as sticking a tongue out at someone and more rude than eyerolling. Many black people do it and many black people despise it and wouldn't do it because they regard it as unacceptable.

It's an unacceptable gesture whether from a black or white person (and I've seen white girls do it in South London).

People need to stop crying racist when behaviour is unacceptable. Sometimes the behaviour is just that - unacceptable and it needs to cease. Sometimes people of all colours need to learn some manners and their teachers, supervisors, managers, etc, need to be empowered to set boundaries and orofessional standards without being accused of racism.

That video is a VERY mild version of teeth kissing . It is highly disrespectful and unprofessional . It is as valid as the shouting. To not mention it because it might be seen as racist is wrong . People need to own their actions.

Pfffffffttttt

People need to stop crying racist when behaviour is unacceptable. Sometimes the behaviour is just that

Exactly! You can't not report something for fear of being told you're racist? She was rude, end of. Even my very Caribbean granny reserves teeth kissing for the most serious of offences (for example when my dad has left the toilet seat up for the hundredth time I can hear her quietly doing it to herself in the bathroom ). Never to a stranger, never more than lightheartedly.

I haven’t seen the op confirming what race either one of them is so the racism thing is a complete assumption atm.

Your poor vulnerable dad be ‘looked up’ by this woman who sounds beyond uncaring.

I don’t actually think I’d care less about the kissing teeth thing in the scheme of things. I’d even class her treatment of your dad as abuse. Say something!! Still mention the kissing teeth in your account, just detail exactly what happened x

*being looked after

Tooth kissing - unacceptable? No black person said that, ever!

The bollocks some people talk

It is exactly the same as an eye roll or a spoken fgs.

It seems it's more menacing to you all because it's something you're not familiar with, and clearly something you don't understand - going by the comments here!

Considering tooth kissing is isolated to a single demographic, the accompanying comments and the undertones (e.g. shows lack of class, professionalism, ability to articulate etc) are downright racist.

Why concentrate on the tooth kissing rather than the shouting or the fact the elderly man was left soiled?

It seems the culture of the nurse bothered you more than her actual conduct.

And you said absolutely nothing to her in this exchange, no?

Definitely complain. I have many family members working in the health service and understand she was probably stressed and overworked but her behaviour was unacceptable.

If you had said 'sucking her teeth' which is think is the more normal phrase then people wouldn't be so confused.

I can't imagine how someone 'starts kissing their teeth' and won't stop- she must have looked like a dog on guard. Surely sucking your teeth is something you do momentarily like an eye roll or a sigh, not a continuous action.

Where the fuck do ppl live that they don't know what teeth kissing is?

Definitely complain. Your poor dad!