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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother and baby parking

461 replies

crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 14:33

Went to the supermarket today with my baby and really could’ve used the mother and baby space to get my car seat in and out etc (especially hard as I have a 2 door car). Just as I arrived a woman without a baby pulled into the mother and baby spot, without a baby. My mother asked her what she was doing and she said she was waiting for a child. 2 mins later a middle aged woman came out of the supermarket and got into the car and she started to drive off. So she had lied. I said thanks to her in a sarcastic way as i was struggling to get my baby out in a tight space (very passive aggressive of me I know but DS hates the car and had been screaming and I was so irritated by not having the space) and she started spouting off about being heavily pregnant and blah blah blah. Which was all completely irrevelant (if even true) because she didn’t get out of the bloody car anyway!

AIBU to think the mother and baby space isn’t somewhere to just wait for a mate to come and join you in the car? People genuinely need the extra space provided by them!

OP posts:
Sirzy · 10/09/2018 17:03

Do you have any idea how hard it can be to get a blue badge?

Winterbella · 10/09/2018 17:04

I was responding to the OP and the post further up which talked about picking up and dropping off of people with mobility issues and I've already said, if your disabled then use of the disabled parking is for you with your blue badge

LyndorCake · 10/09/2018 17:04

So if you questioned her and she refused to answer your questions, would you shrug it off and move on? Or would you peck until she told you the reason? Maybe she had been planning on going in, but then something happened and she wasn't able to. To just overshare with you, I have a medical condition where I have had incidents where I shit myself for no reason and with no warning. For all you know she was dying inside, sitting in her own shit and had to get her friend to come out full of shame and hurt. Why do you think you should be told the reasons?

Winterbella · 10/09/2018 17:05

Yes I do know how hard it is, but not being able to walk distances and not being able to be left alone would qualify you.

Sirzy · 10/09/2018 17:06

Not always.

And not if something was a temporary condition.

Like has been said you have no idea what someone else is going through so instead of jumping to question and judge why not just get on with your own life and leave them.

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 17:11

LyndorCake

Sorry about your medical condition - sounds horrendous. Yes some people do have medical conditions. However I do think in all probability she was just waiting for her friend and was inconsiderate and went in an easy spot for her, and lied when asked about it as she thought I wouldn’t be there long enough to see she had lied.

She parked just before me - I think it was worth my mother saying something on the off chance the person said “actually, I am just waiting for someone if you need the space I’ll pull up next to it instead” or something reasonable. Sometimes in life that does happen if you ask.

OP posts:
Gersemi · 10/09/2018 17:14

If you have a right to be somewhere why wouldn’t you just calmly explain that?

I suspect that I might well decide not to explain it if I felt it wasn't that person's business to question me.

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 17:19

I suspect that I might well decide not to explain it if I felt it wasn't that person's business to question me.

If you pulled into a parent and child space, with 2 empty disabled spaces next to it and an empty normal space opposite (albeit between two cars) and had a car behind you with a screaming baby in it and you had no baby or child in your car, you don’t think someone objectively would be interested in why you are parking there? Really?

OP posts:
Winterbella · 10/09/2018 17:26

That's simply not true, I've had friend with quite debilitating temporary condition all who had blue badges while they needed them, that's what the system is for, and that doesn't negate the fact you could still use the drop off sections for what they are intended.

Sirzy · 10/09/2018 17:28

Temporary blue badges are very rare.

Blue badges are hard to get.

If your driving you can’t use a drop off area.

It’s still fuck all to do with you where someone else parks legally anyway

OliviaStabler · 10/09/2018 17:33

A Tesco I sometimes use has moved the P&C spaces to the side of the car park so not as close to the entrance. Usually lots of spaces there now.

Spikeyball · 10/09/2018 17:34

Why don't parents with toddlers just drop them off? Dropping off some adults who don't have blue badges is equally unsafe.

ChipsAndKetchup · 10/09/2018 17:35

I challenged a bloke in a supermarket car park a few weeks ago. He was sat in his posh car by himself, in a P&C space. I asked him through his window if he had forgotten his children that day.

He got out of his car and shouted in my face that people like me really piss him off. So I told him that people like him piss me off too and I called him a posh bellend. He was very unpleasant but might think twice next time he uses a P&C space. It's bloody irritating!

Spikeyball · 10/09/2018 17:40

"If they are disabled and cant be left alone, surly they have the benefit of a blue badge."

There is currently no right to a badge for learning disabilities, asd, dementia etc.

Fluffyears · 10/09/2018 17:40

I’d have asked who dieasamd made you the parking god? I had some stupid busybody shouting at me being in the disabled space ‘you’re young, you don’t look sick!’etc. When my mother walked over pushing my dad in his wheelchair I asked him to apologise and pointed put that people can have invisible disabilities, how would he know? As he spluttered I told him it was none of his business and I hope he doesn’t upset someone in future. I also opened the car door into his leg ( might not have been completely accepted dental but then he shouldn’t be standing there mouthing off)

You are not the landowner, you are not a parking warden it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Also since they are ‘mother and baby spaces’ where are fathers meant to park?

Hidillyho · 10/09/2018 17:42

It really pisses me off but more so because I’m disabled (waiting to see if I get the badge) so parking miles away from the shop wouldn’t really work either for me.
Unfortunately it’s not enforceable so people take the piss

LyndorCake · 10/09/2018 17:43

Chips how very assuming of you! He could have been waiting for his DP/ex/childcare to drop his child off and load them into his posh car. He had absolutely no obligation to explain why he was using that space and you had no right to challenge him.

Sirzy · 10/09/2018 17:50

We are “lucky” and get the double whammy of judgemental idiots - ds is 8 and has a blue badge.

If we park in a p and c space we have had people having a go because he is too old to use the spaces, one pleasant person even stayed he was too old to be a in a buggy and he should stop being lazy and walk - that was his SN buggy and walking causes him pain after a couple of minutes Hmm

When we park in disabled spaces even with his badge up people judge because we are young and “healthy” so can’t need the space

Going out is so much fun!

GreenMeerkat · 10/09/2018 17:53

I'm heavily pregnant and have now started using P&C spaces as I can sometimes be physically unable to get in or out of the car is someone parks too close.

If I wasn't getting out of the car I wouldn't use one though, that is unfair.

FranticallyPeaceful · 10/09/2018 17:59

This makes me rage. Unfortunately there’s no rules about it

Chelseajunior · 10/09/2018 18:04

Wow 😳
All this fuss over parking spaces??
I have 2 children and a 2 door car, if there are no P & C spaces I just park wherever!It really is no biggie.

Frazzledkate · 10/09/2018 18:06

Why does someone having a valid moan about lazy assets using the parent and child spaces unnecessarily always end up in rants about disabled spaces and their importance? Of course they're important! The vast majority of people using the p and c spaces without children are doing so out of laziness. That's is undeniable irritating if you have young children. End of.

Of course there will be the odd case where a heavily pregnant/ person with a disability or temporary problem of some kind needs to use it. But most are just stupid lazy! They shouldn't be there and mums (and dads) are entitled to a moan about it when the spaces have been put there for them.

Frazzledkate · 10/09/2018 18:10

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ChipsAndKetchup · 10/09/2018 18:35

@LyndorCake he had no car seats in the car. If he was collecting he could have parked anywhere. And frankly I'll do what I like, but cheers for the advice.

EwItsAHooman · 10/09/2018 18:45

The vast majority of people using the p and c spaces without children are doing so out of laziness

The point is that you don't know who is being lazy and who isn't so you should keep your nose out of it instead of acting like an officious little busy-body who feels the need to police the car park.