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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother and baby parking

461 replies

crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 14:33

Went to the supermarket today with my baby and really could’ve used the mother and baby space to get my car seat in and out etc (especially hard as I have a 2 door car). Just as I arrived a woman without a baby pulled into the mother and baby spot, without a baby. My mother asked her what she was doing and she said she was waiting for a child. 2 mins later a middle aged woman came out of the supermarket and got into the car and she started to drive off. So she had lied. I said thanks to her in a sarcastic way as i was struggling to get my baby out in a tight space (very passive aggressive of me I know but DS hates the car and had been screaming and I was so irritated by not having the space) and she started spouting off about being heavily pregnant and blah blah blah. Which was all completely irrevelant (if even true) because she didn’t get out of the bloody car anyway!

AIBU to think the mother and baby space isn’t somewhere to just wait for a mate to come and join you in the car? People genuinely need the extra space provided by them!

OP posts:
EwItsAHooman · 10/09/2018 16:30

You should always confront people in this situation. However much they may act like they have the right, they don't, unless they a baby/toddler. It's a binary thing, do they have a toddler, yes/no? If no then they have no right to park there. If people just let the scum of this world do as they please without passing comment, then they will carry on doing as they please. If everytime you park selfishly someone raises it with you, you'll certainly get fed up of the attention.

  • disabled parking is full, someone who needs a wider space close to the store might park in P&C
  • someone with mobility issues who doesn't qualify for a blue badge
  • parents of older children with mobility issues or other SN who need a wider bay close to the store
  • someone who has arrived without a child but will be leaving with a child (e.g., collecting from childcare)
  • rest of the carpark was full and the only bablys available were P&C
  • person has purchased a large/bulky item and store staff have directed them to park there while the item is brought out to be put in the car

How come you can't see that are reasons why people might be parked in a P&C bay and why it's none of your business? If anyone challenged me they'd get a short, sharp "go fuck yourself".

BasicUsername · 10/09/2018 16:33

I wish there was a system in place for P&C spaces like B.B. spaces.

Eg, you apply at birth for a P&C space badge, valid for up to five years, registered to your car(s). Then the spaces could be monitored, and fines imposed for misuse.

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 16:34

If anyone challenged me they'd get a short, sharp "go fuck yourself"

It’s not a “challenge” though, it’s just a question. And it’s a reasonable question. Why would you be so aggressive? If you have a right to be somewhere why wouldn’t you just calmly explain that? I’ve been in similar situations before and have no problem explaining myself because I can understand objectively people might find it confusing. Why does it have to be such a defensive thing?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 10/09/2018 16:36

Why should anyone explain themselves to you though? You seem to think your rather important!

EwItsAHooman · 10/09/2018 16:37

It’s not a “challenge” though, it’s just a question. And it’s a reasonable question. Why would you be so aggressive?

Because it's none of your business, you don't work for the parking company so have no right to challenge/question me and expect me to disclose my circumstances particularly if relates to a medical condition, challenging/questioning is likely to send my DC into meltdown so you'd have instantly made our day a whole lot more difficult, and - once again- it's none of your business.

Spikeyball · 10/09/2018 16:38

What happens if you don't think the reason is good enough? Do you think you get to tell them off?

UrsulaPandress · 10/09/2018 16:40

Having a child cannot under any stretch of any imagination be compared to having a disability.

What about the poor souls who have children but no car. How are they to shop?

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 16:41

Haha it has nothing to do with telling anyone off or thinking I’m important! 😂 If I saw a man coming into the ladies I am sure I would question that too! And maybe they would have a good reason but it would seem odd to me and I would want to know. I think she probably thought she was very important to take up a space she didn’t need when someone else wanted it.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 10/09/2018 16:42

Unless you have a baby/toddler, then you're not allowed to park there

Says who?

EwItsAHooman · 10/09/2018 16:44

But how do you know she didn't need it? You're not privy to her circumstances so you can't possibly know. Maybe she planned A but B happened and that's why her friend came out with no child and she herself didn't leave the car.

Comparing it to a man walking into the ladies toilet is not the same thing at all.

Spikeyball · 10/09/2018 16:46

So why do you expect an explanation?

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 16:48

Comparing it to a man walking into the ladies toilet is not the same thing at all.

Why isn’t it? Of course it is. It’s something which on the surface warrants questioning! The man’s young daughter might be in the cubicle waiting for him. Or perhaps he is trans or something like that. Just like the woman might have had a change of situation. But then she could’ve just said that. There’s literally no need to not explain something which is objectively against the grain. She was parking in a space designated for parent and child without a child, she could presumably understand that someone might question that. I really can’t understand your way of thinking, I am trying but I can’t, I’m sorry.

OP posts:
Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 16:49

If someone is disabled and has a blue badge and wants to park in the disabled space and someone is there without a blue badge, would they question it? It’s the same principle (and for people who don’t understand analogy, no I am not suggesting in any way that having a baby is comparable to having a disability)

OP posts:
IamaBluebird · 10/09/2018 16:49

My daughter took me to her local asda this morning. We parked in a p and c space , she was going to help me into the shop then move her car.
A car parked next to us, the two women tutted and stared, before one of them said this is for children only you know. She carried on about people being lazy and having no shame.
I hope they felt ashamed when they saw the struggle I had getting out of the car.

EwItsAHooman · 10/09/2018 16:51

I really can’t understand your way of thinking, I am trying but I can’t

Right back at you.

You're not in charge of the parking or who goes into which toilet. If you have an issue then speak to the staff and they'll have a word of they feel it's appropriate.

Sirzy · 10/09/2018 16:51

It isn’t the same principle because blue badge spaces are a necessity. P and C spaces don’t compare in any way shape or form!

lexer · 10/09/2018 16:52

Your mother is very rude. I certainly wouldn't have answered her. You are unreasonable...it's all been said before.

I wish supermarkets would make car park spaces bigger so that I didn't have to park in those spaces you are talking about. My car get bumped otherwise.

Winterbella · 10/09/2018 16:59

At all of the major supermarkets where I live there are drop off areas right up beside the shop, if you have mobility issues and not a blue badge and need dropped off before the driver parks the car, this is the place to do it, not a P&C space or a Disabled space, why wouldn't people just use this.

TeddybearBaby · 10/09/2018 17:00

Thing is some things DO need to be questioned in life (not that I ever say anything to anyone tbh). Who decides what’s appropriate and what’s not? And when you should ‘mind your own busibess’ 🤷‍♀️

Sirzy · 10/09/2018 17:00

Winter what is that disabled person can’t be left alone?

Sirzy · 10/09/2018 17:00

Or is the driver!

Winterbella · 10/09/2018 17:01

If they are disabled and cant be left alone, surly they have the benefit of a blue badge.

Lydiaatthebarre · 10/09/2018 17:01

Winterbells

You do realise disabled people are allowed drive their own cars? They're not all 'dropped off'.

Winterbella · 10/09/2018 17:02

same if your the driver you need to access the blue badge system these categories are who they are for

Lydiaatthebarre · 10/09/2018 17:03

Yes and the blur badge holder can use p&t spaces.

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