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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother and baby parking

461 replies

crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 14:33

Went to the supermarket today with my baby and really could’ve used the mother and baby space to get my car seat in and out etc (especially hard as I have a 2 door car). Just as I arrived a woman without a baby pulled into the mother and baby spot, without a baby. My mother asked her what she was doing and she said she was waiting for a child. 2 mins later a middle aged woman came out of the supermarket and got into the car and she started to drive off. So she had lied. I said thanks to her in a sarcastic way as i was struggling to get my baby out in a tight space (very passive aggressive of me I know but DS hates the car and had been screaming and I was so irritated by not having the space) and she started spouting off about being heavily pregnant and blah blah blah. Which was all completely irrevelant (if even true) because she didn’t get out of the bloody car anyway!

AIBU to think the mother and baby space isn’t somewhere to just wait for a mate to come and join you in the car? People genuinely need the extra space provided by them!

OP posts:
CherryAide · 10/09/2018 15:14

Couldn't bring myself to get too upset over it. People are arses. We deal with it and get on with our lives...

Frazzledkate · 10/09/2018 15:17

We had three under three and my blood used to boil seeing young blokes in work vans ducking in for a sandwich whilst we were circling round looking for a space with room around it to open door wide enough to get car seat/ toddlers out of both sides.

We've since moved to a much more rural area and there are many more/ wider spaces available in supermarkets. Before I've always miked in big towns where the spaces are very narrow and it is impossible to find two free ones together.

So I think where you live makes a difference.

But in gereral, I cannot get over how some parents seem to get so irritated with parents having a moan when inconsiderate cretins park where they shouldn't.

Frazzledkate · 10/09/2018 15:19

Meant people don't like parents having a moan about p and c parking spaces being used for non parent/ children cars

Sirzy · 10/09/2018 15:23

You and your mum where both unreasonable for questioning her. Presumably your not a parking warden for said car park?

Surely with two adults and one child getting the child out of the car can’t have been too difficult even if it meant getting one adult and baby out rjen parking!

Gersemi · 10/09/2018 15:23

But if she had a good reason she would’ve given it and not lied?

The point is that she had no duty to give you any reason whatsoever. She may well have taken the view that it was simpler to say she had a child than go into all the reasons why she needed to park nearer the store, and indeed that it was none of your business.

You could have resolved the problem by parking further away, so I really don't see what your issue is.

Katedotness1963 · 10/09/2018 15:24

Park further out? We never used a parent and child space, too bloody inconvenient. Just parked further from the shops.

itbemay · 10/09/2018 15:24

This is the problem with P&C parking, they are always so close to the shop their use will be abused. Why don't supermarkets etc put these spaces not as close to the entrance and that would stop people using them who haven't got dc's with them...? or am i missing something? like PP i hardly used to bother unless there was one empty, i wouldn't have waited for one and only used it for the extra room, I didn't feel that I needed to be really close to the entrance because I had a child with me?

snowgal · 10/09/2018 15:27

I agree with the person who said P&C spaces don't need to be nearest to the supermarket, as long you not in a high traffic area to get into the store it doesn't matter where they are. TBH I'm not sure parents are generally the safest drivers to be near when manoeuvring, we're generally distracted by a couple of thousand things and ridiculously tired!

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 10/09/2018 15:28

For starters, having a 2 door car with baby car seats is ridiculous and you should save and invest in a new car.

Secondly, the spaces aren't legally enforceable and are essentially a space with a bit of extra paint on. She has the same right to park there as you.

IsItCoffeeTimeYet · 10/09/2018 15:28

The main point of p&c parking is that under 5s are the most likely to be in an accident while walking from the car to the store. That's why they have a direct path to the store usually including a zebra crossing if any roads need to be crossed. Because of this it is difficult to have them further from the store.

Yes she was definitely BU to park in that space, but unfortunately some people are just selfish. And it's first come first served so nothing to be done really.

snowgal · 10/09/2018 15:29

People parking in disabled parking spaces makes my blood boil though...

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 15:31

To reiterate - it was a small supermarket and the spaces free were all in between other cars - even further away (and there wasn’t really a “further away” because it was a small car park). So I parked between two cars and struggled with lack of space. That’s why I was annoyed. She could’ve just pulled in next to the space to wait for her friend, as there was plenty of room there to do so. I just think it’s arseholey behaviour.

OP posts:
Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 15:32

For starters, having a 2 door car with baby car seats is ridiculous and you should save and invest in a new car.

Very helpful thank you 🙄

OP posts:
user1472651064 · 10/09/2018 15:32

I can't think which one it was (probably Sainsbury's), but I was glad to see a sign in a supermarket recently saying there would be fines for those who abused the system. There's no excuse for using one when you don't have a baby/toddler in the car. Those who say otherwise are selfish and inconsiderate.

tillytrotter1 · 10/09/2018 15:36

If you have this issue in the future, perhaps find two spaces together, and park in the middle of them - that way you get enough space to get the car seat out. It’s not ideal, but it can make life a bit easier.

I take great delight in parking my very old car next to the door of idiots who do this!

I was once yelled and screamed on this issue, the more I smiled and ignored her, the more hysterical she became, until my daughter came out of the store with her baby and paraphernalia.

PavlovaFaith · 10/09/2018 15:36

@crispysausagerolls this will happen to you a lot so I'm afraid it's just one of the crappier parts of parenthood. Personally, I like an edge spot so I only have another car on one side and I can get my tyres right up to the kerb on the other. My car is about as big as it gets so it's always manageable. Don't sweat other people, they aren't worth it.

TomHardysNextWife · 10/09/2018 15:37

OP it used to literally make me unhinged when I had a 2 door car and 2 grandchildren in the back.

I've now cracked it.

Shop online.
I have a 5 door car.

And I never use supermarkets that don't enforce their car park rules.

Life is much simpler. And my stress levels are much better Grin

itsalldyingout · 10/09/2018 15:37

She was selfish.

Those spaces should have someone randomly checking them or as others have suggested, move them further away.

I stopped using them when DD was 5 as she had a bit of road sense by then and I could trust her not to run in traffic if I was getting stuff in/out of car.

However, I do use them very occasionally these days if Disabled spaces are full (usually with able-bodied parents with able-bodied teen DCs when raining or men just waiting for someone*), and I'm either using my wheelchair as it needs extra space, or my crutches and I need help in/out of car. I don't have a choice as need extra room and don't want to take two spaces. I don't have the time to wait until someone leaves a disabled space as I have to limit my time away from home.

  • before I'm flamed, this is mostly an opinion on my observations, though my cheekier friend will ask people like that if they really need the space. Mostly she's told to f-off (by the men), but on a few occasions some will go back and move their car (which has shocked me as I always expect the f-off).
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 10/09/2018 15:40

Why didn't you go in the space she left?

BackforGood · 10/09/2018 15:41

I is annoying when you are hoping to use the extra space of a P&C space and there isn't one - more so when the other person shouldn't be using one, but your real problem is

I struggle with my tiny 2 door car to open the door wide enough to get his car seat from
The back seat onto the front seat to be able to take him out. Or to get his buggy out of the back where it has to go.

It isn't the rest of the World's fault you want to take a car seat out of a 2 door car every time you stop.
If you already had the car and felt you couldn't afford to replace it, then get a more practical way of transporting your baby. There are lots of places that don't have P&C spaces, and those that do, there is always the likelihood they are full. You really are making life difficult for yourself.

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 15:41

TomHardysNextWife

You are quite right! This is our first DC and he is only 8 weeks so we were very unaware of how impractical 2 doors was! Thankfully we are looking at 5 doors and will have one soon! Absolutely going to be online shopping a lot more too - I had been but left it too late to get delivery today, hence the trip (with my mother along for support).

Great username! Xx

OP posts:
Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 15:42

GreatDuckCookery

She drove off whilst we were parked and DS was out of the car seat so no point by then

OP posts:
Lydiaatthebarre · 10/09/2018 15:43

Just move them away from the door of the supermarket. I'd prefer to see elderly people get priority there as not only do they also find it hard to squeeze out of the car in small spaces but they're also more likely to be a bit unsteady on their feet.

Put the P&T spaces somewhere in the main carpark and they'll only be used by people without a child in the car if there's no other spaces available.

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 15:44

BackforGood

Please read my post above - getting 5 door car didn’t realise how stupid 2 doors would be with a baby.

I completely agree it’s my problem with the car - BUT if she hadn’t parked in a space she didn’t need, I wouldn’t have been annoyed. If there is no p&c space obviously I just carry on. My issue here was that she had used a space she didn’t need to.

OP posts:
Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 15:47

But actually even with a 5 door car if you have a baby in the back you need to open the back door fairly wide to get the baby out so would need space anyway

OP posts:
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