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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother and baby parking

461 replies

crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 14:33

Went to the supermarket today with my baby and really could’ve used the mother and baby space to get my car seat in and out etc (especially hard as I have a 2 door car). Just as I arrived a woman without a baby pulled into the mother and baby spot, without a baby. My mother asked her what she was doing and she said she was waiting for a child. 2 mins later a middle aged woman came out of the supermarket and got into the car and she started to drive off. So she had lied. I said thanks to her in a sarcastic way as i was struggling to get my baby out in a tight space (very passive aggressive of me I know but DS hates the car and had been screaming and I was so irritated by not having the space) and she started spouting off about being heavily pregnant and blah blah blah. Which was all completely irrevelant (if even true) because she didn’t get out of the bloody car anyway!

AIBU to think the mother and baby space isn’t somewhere to just wait for a mate to come and join you in the car? People genuinely need the extra space provided by them!

OP posts:
Timeisslippingaway · 11/09/2018 20:48

And still this whole thread is about how people with disabilities have the right to park in P&C spaces and everyone that parks in them withought a child obviously needs them when in reality it's not like that at all ad I have witnessed on countless occasions woman and men of all ages getting in and put their cars with no problems and sauntering off to the shops. Like the boy who looked like he had just passed his test with his girlfriend next to him who flew round the fucking car park in there little, what I can only suspect he believed to be a racing car, and parked in the P&C space right next to me (the last one), they both jumped out and swaggered off to the shops withought a care in the world. Go on someone tell me one of them had a hidden disability that ment they needed extra room to get out the car or they needed to be closer to the shops. Trust me there wasn't.

Claw001 · 11/09/2018 20:59

I thought we had that pretty much covered!

Yes, some people are inconsiderate arseholes, who park in P&C, take priority seats, park in disabled bays etc. Or sometimes people with disabilities can be inconsiderate arseholes too. Or sometimes people have less obvious disabilities and park in P&C etc.

The whole thread has been about it’s difficult to know for sure which is which!

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 11/09/2018 21:05

what a PFB problem

How the hell is this a PFB problem?! 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
EwItsAHooman · 11/09/2018 21:11

How the hell is this a PFB problem?

Because by the time you've been parenting for a few years or have had more DC you tend to not get so wound up about something as insignificant as P&C parking.

Timeisslippingaway · 11/09/2018 21:14

Really because I've been looking after cheek fulltime everyday as my job for 10 years and it still pisses me off!

Timeisslippingaway · 11/09/2018 21:14

*children, not cheek

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 11/09/2018 21:16

A lot of the replies on this thread and other threads about similar suggest otherwise

OP posts:
Zillcat · 11/09/2018 21:32

It's annoying OP. I have twins and when they were in car seats it was a pain having to park miles away to have space to open both doors enough to get them out without scraping someone's car because all the P&C spaces were taken.

I did say something to one woman in a rather posh car outside Sainsbury's once. She had a million excuses about 'meeting her children' (she was about 70), and only 'being two minutes'.

In the end I gathered it's not worth my time. People will still be inconsiderate. I now just passively aggressively walk past those (obviously not in need of the spaces) telling DC how lucky these people are to have invisible children.

TabbyMumz · 11/09/2018 21:59

Op, you are not the only person in the world to have a car with two doors. I did too. Perfectly manageable to still get baby out and much easier than moving the whole car seat from the back seat to the front seat with the baby still in it!!! If you can't do it by either sitting on back seat yourself, releasing baby, then getting out with baby in your arms, or by leaning in, releasing baby and lifting over top of car seat, release the seat belt, turn car seat round to be forward facing, and then take baby out....all much much easier than what you are doing and then carrying very bulky car seat across car park with baby in it. So...please don't say "rtft" to me...that's rude.

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 11/09/2018 22:01

TabbyMumz

I do not feel comfortable climbing out of the back of the car holding my baby. I just don’t. I’m extremely clumsy and I find my way, although more annoying, safer.

OP posts:
Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 11/09/2018 22:01

Was your car seat rear facing?

OP posts:
Frazzledkate · 11/09/2018 22:04

Good lord. Why should a parent with a baby have to justify using a space designated for a parent and child???!!!

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 11/09/2018 22:06

Also tabbymumz I have an isofix base, so I can’t just spin the seat around.

But actually frazzledkate is right, I don’t need to justify how I get my child out of the car to you.

OP posts:
TabbyMumz · 11/09/2018 22:09

Up to a certain age, they had to be rear facing, but as I've said, if yoh cant do the other methods, as a last resort, release the seat belt and turn it round to face you. Then take baby out whilst you step backwards out of the car. I can't imagine moving car seat from front to back with a baby in it. You could really damage your back doing that.

TabbyMumz · 11/09/2018 22:10

I actually wasn't asking you to justify anything to me. If you read my first message, I was querying when the trend of taking the whole car seat into the shop started as it's really bulky and heavy.

TheWinterofOurDiscountTentsMk2 · 12/09/2018 08:27

But actually frazzledkate is right, I don’t need to justify how I get my child out of the car to you

You mean you don't like being questioned about why you may or may not a particular space or why you park like you do? Funny that, neither do other people. So get a hold of your ego and don't challenge people in car parks anymore.

Claw001 · 12/09/2018 08:31

So many double standards on this thread!

TheFairyCaravan · 12/09/2018 08:44

But actually frazzledkate is right, I don’t need to justify how I get my child out of the car to you

How ironic Hmm

Claw001 · 12/09/2018 09:01

These threads are totally pointless. Many posters have taken the time to explain and share insight into disabilities.

Not a single person has taken anything said on board. No ones understanding has increased in the slightest.

People wonder why the term ‘fuck off’ is used!

What a dismal, uncaring world we live in.

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 12/09/2018 10:03

It’s not ironic at all - I actually explained myself several times politely. I didn’t tell anyone to fuck off as other posters apparently do when questioned. And also it’s a completely different scenario as I wanted to park somewhere I was allowed to park. In a parent and child space, with a child. So it’s irrelevant how or why I get my baby out of the car - I’m allowed to park there! I can’t believe people can’t see the difference 😂😂

OP posts:
Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 12/09/2018 10:07

These threads are totally pointless. Many posters have taken the time to explain and share insight into disabilities.

This thread was about a specific incident with a non disabled and rude woman. YOU and others turned it into a thread about hidden disabilities (which happens frequently on MN). You are not willing to accept or acknowledge that the overwhelming likelihood is that people who act this way are wankers and not disabled, and that in all probability questioning them pulls them up on bad behaviour rather than upsetting someone with genuine needs.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 12/09/2018 10:08

OP after reading the replies from posters explaining why they sometimes park in a P and C space because of their or their child's disability, will you still have the same stance the next time you see someone parked there without a child or has this thread made you think ?

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 12/09/2018 10:09

What a dismal, uncaring world we live in.

Absolutely, one in which people make like harder for others by, say, parking in spaces they don’t need that someone else did

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 12/09/2018 10:11

Actually no need to reply. Your 10.07 post answers my question.

Frazzledkate · 12/09/2018 10:13

This thread was about a specific incident with a non disabled and rude woman. YOU and others turned it into a thread about hidden disabilities (which happens frequently on MN). You are not willing to accept or acknowledge that the overwhelming likelihood is that people who act this way are wankers and not disabled, and that in all probability questioning them pulls them up on bad behaviour rather than upsetting someone with genuine needs.

THIS. Nothing to do with not being compassionate. Basically the thread was hijacked by personal sob stories and it wasn't the place. I am a very compassionate person btw, this just wasn't the place for it really was it?