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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother and baby parking

461 replies

crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 14:33

Went to the supermarket today with my baby and really could’ve used the mother and baby space to get my car seat in and out etc (especially hard as I have a 2 door car). Just as I arrived a woman without a baby pulled into the mother and baby spot, without a baby. My mother asked her what she was doing and she said she was waiting for a child. 2 mins later a middle aged woman came out of the supermarket and got into the car and she started to drive off. So she had lied. I said thanks to her in a sarcastic way as i was struggling to get my baby out in a tight space (very passive aggressive of me I know but DS hates the car and had been screaming and I was so irritated by not having the space) and she started spouting off about being heavily pregnant and blah blah blah. Which was all completely irrevelant (if even true) because she didn’t get out of the bloody car anyway!

AIBU to think the mother and baby space isn’t somewhere to just wait for a mate to come and join you in the car? People genuinely need the extra space provided by them!

OP posts:
Timeisslippingaway · 11/09/2018 19:08

@PersianCatLady

Welling wasn't the driver and there was no one in the car when she parked so she didn't need to park there to let anyone out to the toilet.

Claw001 · 11/09/2018 19:09

Anyhow, yes OP some people who park in P&C spaces, take priority seats or disabled spaces are inconsiderate arses. Some people who park in P&C spaces without a child, or not displaying a bb might be disabled. Some people who sit in priority seats might be disabled etc.

I don’t know the difference. I have no way of knowing.

Luckymummy22 · 11/09/2018 19:10

Perhaps i’ve missed the obvious - and I don’t begrudge anyone with a genuine need parking in these spaces - but if they are meant for all why are they called Parent and Child Spaces?

I’m not saying what’s right or wrong but that seems to have got lost.

I am in no way disabled and neither are my children.
I do use these spaces when I can with my 3 year old. I don’t normally if I only have my 7 year old with me - although I did recently when I had to start helping her out car because of an injury.

In the Tesco nearest me these spaces are heavily used at times by people who do not use children with them.
Possible a small number of these people have a genuine need, but when you see 3 or 4 cars in the space of a couple of minutes leaving / driving into the P&C spaces you do wonder.
I do get frustrated at times but it’s not the end of the world. My kids are older though. I am no longer getting the car seat in / out the car. But it’s not the 1st time I have parked elsewhere (always away from other cars) and had to put car seat in from other side.

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 11/09/2018 19:14

TabbyMumz

If you rtft you would see why I needed the space to move the car seat into the front seat to get the baby out.

I can’t believe how ridiculous some people on this thread are being - no I’m not just going to assume she was there because of a highly unlikely reason, I’m going to assume what is most likely in my personal experience. Which was that she was waiting for her buddy and it was easy for her and she didn’t give a shit about anyone else.

OP posts:
Luckymummy22 · 11/09/2018 19:17

In one of my local car parks I bypass the parent and child spaces and go straight to the roof. There are spaces here that anyone can park in and are so big - it’s great. You can often get a space as most people can’t be bothered driving to the top of the car park. I get to park in them even when I don’t have the kids with me Grin

PersianCatLady · 11/09/2018 19:19

@Spikeyball
Yes, you are correct.

I got that wrong.

I totally forgot about the "planning and following a journey" and the "moving around" descriptor split.

Thanks for pointing that out!!

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/Global/Copy%20of%20UPDATED%20-%20PIP%20descriptors.pdf

PersianCatLady · 11/09/2018 19:21

The person getting into the car wasn't disabled either
I think what you meant to say was -

"the person getting into the car did not appear to have any visible disabilities"

Claw001 · 11/09/2018 19:23

Genuine question, not a dig! Mine are all grown now, why do people have to take the car seat out?

Back in the day, the seat stayed in the car and just got baby out.

PersianCatLady · 11/09/2018 19:25

Welling wasn't the driver and there was no one in the car when she parked so she didn't need to park there to let anyone out to the toilet
Could be that due to their bowel condition, the lady had an accident and needed to get home to change.

How would you feel knowing that you had an accident of this nature and even though you had a BB, people still think that you should walk across the whole car park because you don't fit into their definition of disabled???

AperolSprizting · 11/09/2018 19:26

If she didn’t get out and was usiit’s cheeky. But I used them from 33 weeks I was so big I wouldn’t have been able yo get out of the car otherwise!! xx

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 11/09/2018 19:26

Claw001

I have answered this already! My car has only got two doors - I don’t feel safe climbing out of the back of the car holding an 8 week old baby, and therefore I move the car seat into the front seat to unclip him.

Thankfully we are getting a 5 door car and I will be able to unclip him from this.

OP posts:
Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 11/09/2018 19:27

PersianCatLady

Could it not just be that she was an asrehole??!?

OP posts:
biscuitaddict · 11/09/2018 19:28

I've highlighted the fact that people were parking in P&C spaces when they have no children with them a number of times. Sheer laziness. They are clearly designated for people with children under 12 failure to adhere to this can result in a fine, if places actually fined it might change. Drives me up the wall. I agree that they need moving to the furthest part from the shops too, then lazy people wouldn't use them for ease!

Claw001 · 11/09/2018 19:31

I had a 2 door, just slide the front seat forward! This was obviously before parent/child spaces! Showing my age!

A few people on the thread have said about removing car seats, I will assume they have 2 doors too!

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 11/09/2018 19:33

The front seat is forward? But the car seat is rear facing in conjunction with current guidelines so unless I clamber into the back and clamber out with the baby which I don’t feel is safe, I have to remove the seat.

OP posts:
PersianCatLady · 11/09/2018 19:33

Could it not just be that she was an asrehole??!?
It could well be.

Rather than get annoyed with other posters on MN for pointing out reasons why people may not look disabled (even though they are) we should be getting annoyed at supermarkets for not enforcing the rules to ensure that these schemes benefit the very people who they are supposed to benefit.

99% of the time, the woman was doing exactly what you think she was doing.

The 1% of the time that there was a reason for her doing so who do you think looks like a bigger arsehole, her for legally using her BB or you for asking her to explain why she doesn't look disabled according to your criteria?

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 11/09/2018 19:39

PersianCatLady

Of course I would look like a huge arsehole if I was wrong! Not disputing that at all

OP posts:
TheFairyCaravan · 11/09/2018 19:40

Thisis being got rid of as far as I can understand. The Govt are pretending they’re some sorts of knights in shining armour but in reality this clause should never have been implemented in the first place.

Claw001 · 11/09/2018 19:45

crispy I wasn’t questioning you further or suggesting you should do what I did! Just querying the removing of car seats Smile I’m all for making life easier!

PersianCatLady · 11/09/2018 19:47

Of course I would look like a huge arsehole if I was wrong! Not disputing that at all
Thing is if supermarkets actually enforced the rules, this would not happen.

In order to be able to make the rules easy to enforce, I would go as far as reducing the age from 12 as well. So to be allowed to use the P & C spaces, you need to have either a BB or you have a child who uses a car seat, HBB or booster seat.

So simple to check who complies and who doesn't.

In fact, I do vaguely remember that when Tesco first introduced P & C spaces, you had to join the "Tesco Baby Club" and get a little sticker to use the spaces at all.

Please correct me if I am wrong (for the second time this evening)!!

Luckymummy22 · 11/09/2018 19:48

Many travel systems have an attachment so you can use car seat with travel system. It’s not something I did often as I wasn’t keen on kids being in car seat for longer than necessary but there were occasions when it was useful - e.g if baby was sleeping.
Also if I were nipping into Supermarket I would sometimes take car seat out. They have trolleys specially designed to put car seat in. Or I would just place it in a trolley.

Charmatt · 11/09/2018 19:49

There's no excuse for using one when you don't have a baby/toddler in the car. Those who say otherwise are selfish and inconsiderate.

I used one once when driving in to a supermarket with my son (16 yrs old). He had a seizure in the car and I pulled into a P&C space so I could access enough space to support him until he had been through the post ictal period and I could move him in to the back to drive him home.

Granted, it's an usual excuse but I think a reasonable one. The response from the public was amazing and I feel very grateful to them.

Luckymummy22 · 11/09/2018 19:49

We had a 5 door and 3 door when both kids were born. Car seats were very difficult to get in / out car and equally getting baby out wasn’t the easiest too.
I would use the 5 door for this reason unless i needed to take the 3 door.

Claw001 · 11/09/2018 19:50

I think IF you are wrong. It’s not about you looking like a huge arsehole, it’s about the impact on the disabled person.

MonicaGellerHyphenBing · 11/09/2018 20:20

Good lord, what a PFB problem.