Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother and baby parking

461 replies

crispysausagerolls · 10/09/2018 14:33

Went to the supermarket today with my baby and really could’ve used the mother and baby space to get my car seat in and out etc (especially hard as I have a 2 door car). Just as I arrived a woman without a baby pulled into the mother and baby spot, without a baby. My mother asked her what she was doing and she said she was waiting for a child. 2 mins later a middle aged woman came out of the supermarket and got into the car and she started to drive off. So she had lied. I said thanks to her in a sarcastic way as i was struggling to get my baby out in a tight space (very passive aggressive of me I know but DS hates the car and had been screaming and I was so irritated by not having the space) and she started spouting off about being heavily pregnant and blah blah blah. Which was all completely irrevelant (if even true) because she didn’t get out of the bloody car anyway!

AIBU to think the mother and baby space isn’t somewhere to just wait for a mate to come and join you in the car? People genuinely need the extra space provided by them!

OP posts:
BuntyII · 11/09/2018 15:42

Just on the discussion of making spaces bigger, my local Lidl has done this and it's heaven doesn't stop the turds without children parking in p&c spaces though.

Claw001 · 11/09/2018 15:53

What’s the difference between bigger spaces and p&c spaces bunty?

Spikeyball · 11/09/2018 16:03

I would refuse to allow random people to look at my son's blue badge. Just looking at it in the vehicle is enough to tell it is probably his, if they are that bothered about it.
Most children with sn do not have a blue badge. My son is profoundly autistic (and yes it is lifelong not something he has time to time), in special school etc and he didn't get one till he was 11.

itsalldyingout · 11/09/2018 16:04

Not bunty, but bigger spaces make it easier all round.

Great for people who have no idea how to park a car properly without hitting others.

Also great for people who don't have blue badges but have problems getting in or out of cars because of arthritis etc.

People with non-permanent disabilities like my friend who broke both her legs and was in non-weight bearing plaster, using a wheelchair for a few months.

Would potentially stop aggro over parking space spats.

Bunty may be able to weigh-in or correct me if she thinks of other circumstances that they benefit people all round.

Timeisslippingaway · 11/09/2018 16:12

I agree, where do you draw the line at rude entitled behaviour. Should we all bow our heads and just get on with people walking all over us?
Most of the time it is quite easy to spot if someone has a disability, plus I doubt many people with a disability have to park in P&C spaces as there are usually plenty of disabled spaces free (in my experience) so I think most of the time we can safely presume the people parking in these spaces don't need them. If they do for whatever reason fine but I doubt it happens very often.
It's quite simple really if you don't need a P&C space don't use one i.e. if you don't actually need extra room to get out a car then park in a regular space.

Timeisslippingaway · 11/09/2018 16:16

@Spikeyball

No one would question you if you parked in a P&C space with your child though so that's irrelevant really.

Frazzledkate · 11/09/2018 16:18

Of course I understand autism is life long, I work with many of those who have it eyeroll

I meant there are many suffering at any one time, whether that's a life long condition or a temporary thing. People with autism don't hold the monopoly on needing consideration.

Claw001 · 11/09/2018 16:18

Where do we draw the line, people walking all over us! Huh? I thought anyone could park in P&C spaces?

Spikeyball · 11/09/2018 16:21

"Most of the time it is quite easy to spot if someone has a disability,"

How would you spot that my son is disabled? What would tell you?

EwItsAHooman · 11/09/2018 16:23

People with autism don't hold the monopoly on needing consideration.

You're a fountain of compassion and understanding. I sincerely hope you don't take that attitude with the people you claim to work with Hmm

Timeisslippingaway · 11/09/2018 16:26

@Claw001

What would make you think that. They are specifically aimed at parents with children hense the name. I'm not sure anyone would quibble about it if someone had a need for the extra room that didn't have a child but they're not for everybody.

Claw001 · 11/09/2018 16:26

Frazzled no one has said people with Autism have the monopoly on needing consideration! Confused

My point was to the OP who said she would question and ask why someone without an obvious physical disability was sitting in a priority seat on a bus. They might not always be able to answer that question or take it literally.

Timeisslippingaway · 11/09/2018 16:29

@Spikeyball

I have never clapped eyes on your son and I don't know what his disability is so how could I possibly say

Spikeyball · 11/09/2018 16:33

He has autism. How would you tell that by looking?

Claw001 · 11/09/2018 16:36

It’s not illegal was my point. It’s a matter of courtesy, which doesn’t seem to extend to disabled people from this thread!

Personally I wouldn’t park in a p&c, even if I had my disabled son with me. I also wouldn’t question someone sat in a priority seat on a bus or someone with a blue badge parked in a disabled bay.

Sirzy · 11/09/2018 16:43

I wouldn’t show anyone ds blue badge unless it was their job to see it. Because it’s fuck all to do with anyone else! I display the badge correctly and legally if any passer by has issue with that then that’s their problem!

Sirzy · 11/09/2018 16:44

Did I miss when ds was supposed to go and get “I am disabled” stamped across his head? Because to look at him you certainly wouldn’t be able to tell he is disabled!

Timeisslippingaway · 11/09/2018 16:45

@Spikeyball

A lot of the time you can. I have worked with children with autism, my partner worked with young adults with autism. He can tell someone has autism straight away (he worked with people with disabilities for a lot longer then me) . Like I said if you were in a P&C space with a child no one would bat an eyelid because you had a child with you, if you were in a disabled space with a bb then no one will bat an eyelid I'm not sure what your point is. Are you trying to embarrass me into listing signs of autism because as usual on MN everyone assumes that other people have absolutely no experience of anything in life and have no right to comment.

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 11/09/2018 16:47

think most of the time we can safely presume the people parking in these spaces don't need them. If they do for whatever reason fine but I doubt it happens very often

This is exactly what I am trying to say.

It’s irrelevant in my opinion if something is illegal or not. It’s technically not illegal to walk past a drowning child if you don’t owe them a duty of care, are we saying that’s ok? There’s a difference between something being illegal and something being a shitty thing to do.

And maybe I’ve lived a sheltered life but it’s been normal for me to be questioned by others without feeling the need to say “fuck off” to them or visa versa. It must be awful to live with a hidden disability or have a child with one, but surely you understand that that’s the minority and that most people (through no fault of their own) will be ignorant about these matters. Why not educate them so that they know for next time, rather than get so aggressive? I don’t get it? It’s not people like me who should annoy you so much, it’s people who abuse the system like that arsehole yesterday who cause people to question (even if only in their minds) people who park in spaces when they don’t look like they should etc.

OP posts:
Spikeyball · 11/09/2018 16:48

Timeisslippingaway should go into medicine what with that skill of being able to diagnose just by looking.

Sirzy · 11/09/2018 16:49

This is the issue though, it is always those who face the daily battles to do things everyone else takes for granted that are then expected to educate the ignorant on top of that!

And as threads like this show it’s ofren like trying to talk to a brick wall anyway!

ballseditupforever · 11/09/2018 16:51

The problem with these threads is that the selfish morons that abuse the system come out in force justifying their selfish behaviour with ridiculous arguments. In the real world most normal people think it's shitty behaviour but there are a significant minority of selfish arses that do it regardless.

EwItsAHooman · 11/09/2018 16:52

Why not educate them so that they know for next time

Because it's not my job to. If you want to be educated then educate yourself, my child doesn't exist to serve as a teaching point for others.

He can tell someone has autism straight away

Does he work in diagnostics? He could save the NHS a fortune in CYPS assessments.

It’s not people like me who should annoy you so much, it’s people who abuse the system

No, it's definitely people like you who think they have a right to question people going about their business. Why don't you work from the assumption that someone parking there may have a need for the space rather than feeling the need to question what is none of your business?

Timeisslippingaway · 11/09/2018 16:54

@Spikeyball

Ridiculous thing to say. I'm not diagnosing. Does your child have a bb?

Spikeyball · 11/09/2018 16:54

Timeisslippingaway your partner cannot always tell someone has autism straightaway. I doubt even someone who is an actual expert, would say that.

Swipe left for the next trending thread