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Original poster

To have told a woman with her kids to mind her own business

455 replies

Woolythoughts · 10/09/2018 08:38

Travelling on a train, sat at a table of four seats. Opposite me was a woman with one of her kids and her other one was next to me. Once next to her was a toddler and the one next to me probably about 6/7.

I was happily sitting there watching a box set on the ipad with head phones in. US drama with bits of violence (guns, shooting, fights etc) and a bit of sex (Homeland for those who know it).

She asked me if I could turn it off as it was unsuitable for her son sitting next to me to watch it. I think he'd been watching the screen and made some comment to his mother from what I could gather when I took my headphones out.

Told her not a chance as it was not my problem.

Then, about 20 minutes left to go, was killing time playing candy crush - again with head phones on.

This time she asked me not to as her kids wanted to play it and she didn't allow it and it would upset them.

At that point I politely suggested she pay more attention to what her kids were doing and less to what I was doing and I'd do what I wanted.

She seemed to think I should modify my behaviour because of her parenting choices.

OP posts:
whosafraidofabigduckfart · 10/09/2018 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PorkFlute · 10/09/2018 10:17

Flamingofridays what the actual fuck? It’s right in front of a child who would have no idea what it is or that it wasn’t appropriate for them. Are we really now making 6 yos responsible for looking at inappropriate images shown to them by adults??
I’m out of the thread now. Absolute madness!

ThreeAnkleBiters · 10/09/2018 10:18

flamingofridays

Try and read carefully what I'm saying. I'm saying that what you play on your iPad on a shared table is not private. If it was private you could play whatever you liked on it, including porn because no one should be seeing it. You claimed that an iPad in a public place was in fact private so according to you as long as you're not touching yourself it's absolutely fine to watch porn on it surely?

If you worked with confidential material you wouldn't be allow to do your work in a public place like a train because you can reasonable expect other people will see it.

MsHopey · 10/09/2018 10:19

If my kid was being a rude little sod & staring at someone else's screen I'd do a bit of parenting & tell it to stop.

I think ask them to stop would sound better. It just made me laugh calling a child it.

flamingofridays · 10/09/2018 10:19

Are we really now making 6 yos responsible for looking at inappropriate images shown to them by adults??
I’m out of the thread now. Absolute madness!

ah yes that's exactly what i said.

fucking hell Hmm stupid

whosafraidofabigduckfart · 10/09/2018 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThreeAnkleBiters · 10/09/2018 10:21

If you've ever actually been on a commuter screen you'll se that everyone looks at each other's screens from time to time. I bet you anything that you'll have noticed at some point that the person net to you is watching a certain show. Eyes are drawn to screens someone posted the science before. In a public place you shouldn't have to worry about about where you look for fear of seeing something inappropriate. The entitlement is ridiculous to expect that you ca behave exactly as you like in public without regard for anyone around you.

PorkFlute · 10/09/2018 10:21

Yes you said the op didn’t make the child watch it. So presumably that makes having it playing on a table right in front of them fine. As a 6 year old who has absolutely no idea what they’re seeing should have looked away!!!
So the 6 yo is meant to have more common sense than the op presumably.

whosafraidofabigduckfart · 10/09/2018 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadameButterface · 10/09/2018 10:22

don't you sound pleasant slarti

ThreeAnkleBiters · 10/09/2018 10:23

flamingofridays

You said it was the child's responsibility to avert their eyes. The PP said that isn't the child's responsibility. He wasn't leaning over into the OP's private space to see her iPad. It was right in front of him. It's not his responsibility to sit with eyes fixed in front of him.

flamingofridays · 10/09/2018 10:23

So presumably that makes having it playing on a table right in front of them fine
watching it on an ipad, facing op, with headphones imo is fine.

before you say it, no hardcore porn in public at all would not be fine, but again homeland is not hardcore porn, is it?

lottiegarbanzo · 10/09/2018 10:23

Uh huh Slarti, course you would.

PrivateDoor · 10/09/2018 10:23

YANBU for booking seats at tables - cannot believe someone suggested otherwise!

YAB a bit U for watching stuff like this on the train, I am sure there were plenty of other things you could have picked.

If I had been her I would have simply moved the toddler onto my knee and asked the 6 year old to sit beside me - problem solved - I certainly wouldn't try to dictate what a stranger does on their ipad Hmm

MadameButterface · 10/09/2018 10:23

oh noes how entitled think some people about parents who don't want their 6 yo sat in direct eyeline of sex and violence

these are the same people going fuck you I'll do what I like on public transport, but apparently this is not entitled

weird huh

ThreeAnkleBiters · 10/09/2018 10:24

The idiocy (and rudeness( is too much for me too I'm out. They talk about children being entitled - if you can't moderate your behaviour at all when in public it is YOU who is ridiculously entitled!

PorkFlute · 10/09/2018 10:24

But it wasn’t angled away from the child as that would have caused glare on the screen. Also if it had been angled away the child wouldn’t have seen it so there wouldn’t have been an issue

whosafraidofabigduckfart · 10/09/2018 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pickledturnip · 10/09/2018 10:25

I don't think not wanting your child exposed to violent/sexual behaviour is a 'parenting choice' I think it is more the responsibility of society to keep the most vulnerable members protected. It is every adults responsibility to act in an appropriate manner in public. Exposing a child of that age to sex and violence isn't responsible or acceptable imo.

With that said, I don't think I would have said anything to you. I would figure that if you were ignorant enough to think it ok, you'd be bolshy enough to not stop watching. I would have moved the two children to my side I think.

Candy Crush (although I am in the doubters camp on that one) is not inappropriate viewing so it is very unreasonable for a parent to mention that.

PorkFlute · 10/09/2018 10:26

Genuine question to anyone who thinks the op was reasonable. Would you be happy if a visitor to your home sat next to your 6yo on the sofa and put adult content/sex on an iPad on the coffee table because the 6yo should just look away?

ThreeAnkleBiters · 10/09/2018 10:27

before you say it, no hardcore porn in public at all would not be fine, but again homeland is not hardcore porn, is it?

So basically you admit that the people around you on the train are bound to catch glimpses of what you put on your iPad (if they weren't then watching hardcore porn would be fine). So since it's inevitable that the child (whose seat has been booked and paid for) will see your screen (as you have at last admitted) you shouldn't put stuff on the screen which is to suitable for children. Simple logic. I'm out.

PorkFlute · 10/09/2018 10:27

So long as the sound was off obviously! Hmm

lottiegarbanzo · 10/09/2018 10:31

In the meantime, commuters up and down the country berate each other for allowing a bit of tinny music - with no offensive content whatsoever - to escape their earphones and annoy other passengers.

Distracting and annoying adults in a public space is antisocial and, on a train, generally considered unacceptable. Distracting children and exposing them to adult content in the same public space? Well...

flamingofridays · 10/09/2018 10:33

love the fact that if you don't agree with someone on mumsnet you're considered thick.

i'm out too. tossers

Lethaldrizzle · 10/09/2018 10:34

I love homeland but no way would I want my kids looking at it. Maybe buy the book op?

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