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Original poster

What would you call your exes wife??

168 replies

Lifeadminatwork · 08/09/2018 14:06

New wife? Second wife? Wife is just fine thanks!

Im not insecure/needy/need to get out more, just wish the poison that comes out of exes mouth could be channelled elsewhere for a while.

Straw that broke my back!

OP posts:
ManyCrisps · 09/09/2018 15:11

Bitch

ManyCrisps · 09/09/2018 15:12

Or Goldigging bitch

tashac89 · 09/09/2018 18:04

The step mum thing isn't an issue for me, I don't have an ex husband. I did though lose my mum 6 years ago and my dad is remarried. I call her Carol. She's not my mum, she's my dad's wife. She is, however, my kids nan. My mum was the one that raised me, but Carol has every right to the name nan, she is their nan in every respect except blood.

Bluebell878275 · 09/09/2018 18:24

I would be very unimpressed if after pushing a human out of my vagina some other adult who happened to be married to my ex decided they were equally a parent to me

Well I'm pleased to say I don't live my life to impress you. I never said I considered myself equal either.. Confused

TheFormidableMrsC · 09/09/2018 18:27

I refer to my ex-h's girlfriend by the name my DS bestowed on her because he can't say her name correctly. That is fine by me because it's ridiculous. She was the OW, she is an utter fucking bitch and she most certainly is not "step" anything to my DS. I have no idea what she calls me, but I imagine that whatever it is, it'll be horribly unkind. She has been vile from the outset and I despise her. Fortunately ex has very minimal (court ordered) contact so DS doesn't have to spend much time with her. What I refer to her as in private is not repeatable.

YeTalkShiteHen · 09/09/2018 18:27

I am completely nonplussed by the women who are so adamant that nobody else can be a parent to their child.

I have to say, a lot of those type of comments read as pretty unpleasant and possessive.

DS1s SM isn’t an additional parent for 2 reasons, for one her husband (DS1s actual parent) has never parented in any way, so it’s unlikely she would, and two, they see him for approx 48 hours a month, so isn’t an active participant in his life.

DP IS a parent to DS1, he’s involved in his daily life and does all the things a parent does.

XH once griped about DP trying to “fill my shoes” to which I responded “well if they weren’t empty.....”

littlebillie · 09/09/2018 18:28

Offred?

YeTalkShiteHen · 09/09/2018 18:28

I should have added that she is his stepmum though, since she’s married to his dad.

happypoobum · 09/09/2018 18:40

New wife.

What is it she calls you that is so upsetting? I think I have missed a bit sorry. If she is saying poisonous things about you just feel sorry for her that she hasn't moved on. The best revenge is to live well etc.

I am quite sure that XH new wife is far better suited to him than I ever was and that he will be happier with her long term. I have not regretted splitting with him ever, not for a nano second, but I guess a lot of peoples divorces are very full of spite.

RenoSusan · 09/09/2018 18:52

How about "Starter Wife"?

celticprincess · 09/09/2018 20:08

My ex has a partner. I just call her ‘billy’s Partner/girlfriend or use her name. No idea what she refers to me as. My kids call her by her name but refer to as stepmum sometimes, which irritates me as they aren’t married. They have another child. Their child calls me ‘mummy’ when she sees me and often calls her own mum (ex’s partner) by her name which made us all giggle a bit. She’s a toddler so hears my kids call her by name and call me mummy so she obviously assumes those as names. They all call the ex ‘daddy’ except the gf who calls him by name. My kids also refer to their half sister’s cousins/grandparents etc as their own cousins and grandparents. It can get frustrating.

wallowinwater · 09/09/2018 20:12

I always wonder how these women who don’t want thier x’s new partner to parent their kids think this would work in reality? If they fall over should we ignore the child so as not to step on thier parent’s toes? If thier upset should we refuse to cuddle them? Should we only make ourselves and our children food? Isn’t it in your child’s best interest to be loved by more people not less? You’d be the first to complain if we did ignore or upset your children. Most step parents find thier role extremely difficult and it certainly isn’t helped by insecure mothers who think their child being treated lovingly and kindly by their step parent somehow diminishes thier own bond with thier child. The more positive adults the child has in thier life the better, it may be not the happy family life you dreamed, but believe me liking after someone else’s kids was not on the step parents dream family set ups either. Support each other!

MumtoFour89 · 09/09/2018 20:35

I’d like to think she just thinks of me as his partner.
I don’t ever want to be his wife. Not interested in being first wife let alone second one Grin She is very welcome to be the only one that’s ever been married him.

Shockers · 09/09/2018 21:16

I use her name.

pteradactyl · 09/09/2018 21:29

Bit different as we were never married but I call my ex's fiance by her name. Dd also refers to all of his fiancee's family as brother/nan etc even though they're not married so technically not even step. Don't get me wrong, I don't love it. She eve said his fiancee was her other mum which hurt a bit but the, I much prefer that their relationship is like that than dd hating her and hating seeing her dad because her and her family are there. They've been in her life since she was very small though and ex and I were dead in the water long before we split anyway and as I said, us not being married does make a difference to my feelings on it all I imagine.

CarefullyAirbrushedPotato · 09/09/2018 22:30

Miss Piggy.
I know it's not the kindest thing but I actually find that I've been saying it so long I've forgotten her real name

nearlythesummer · 09/09/2018 23:09

He ex-wife sounds like she’s hurting. Try to be nice.

Nursejackie1 · 10/09/2018 00:32

What does she call you then?

ALongHardWinter · 10/09/2018 02:54

Dracula.

passwordfailure · 10/09/2018 03:05

I prefer my XH's DW to him so I use her name. XH I call Knobhead, only to his face though. I'm kidding, she wasn't the OW, she's a nice woman, she's nice to my kids. She's welcome to him and I use her first name. If I have to introduce them both to a third party i say this is DCs father XX and this is XX's wife XY.

Zoflorabore · 10/09/2018 03:19

Sharon Grin

passwordfailure · 10/09/2018 03:20

Wallowinwater makes a very good point. As I know my XH so well I know that any nitty gritty looking after / parenting of my DC will be done by his DW rather than him. I always thought that it would be far easier for her to be nice to my DC if I am nice to her. I think it helps that she has her own children and XH so we all know the pitfalls of divorce and remarriage. Sometimes we both take the piss out of XH (gently) together.

TheDogAteMyPants · 10/09/2018 05:11

Wallow and password I think I love you. Couldn’t have said it better. Often feels like open season on stepmums on here. Not all stepmums are the same, not all parents are the same. Posters are sometimes too keen to tar everyone with the same brush because of their own experience or bias.
You aren’t really a parent of any sort by just calling yourself that, but a person’s actions define who they are. Take the lead from the children - do they want (or need) to be parented?

yesornoworld · 10/09/2018 06:23

@*bastardkitty

Unlucky*

Seniorschoolmum · 10/09/2018 06:26

I don’t call her anything because she is irrelevant. Ds spends fewer than 40 nights a year at his dad’s so there is no need to refer to her at all.

Since her preference is starting screaming matches in the street and bad-mouthing me in front of primary age ds, I find that’s the best approach.

Ds thinks she’s weird and I don’t want to agree with him, so best just to ignore her for the othe 325 days a year.