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AIBU?

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Original poster

What would you call your exes wife??

168 replies

Lifeadminatwork · 08/09/2018 14:06

New wife? Second wife? Wife is just fine thanks!

Im not insecure/needy/need to get out more, just wish the poison that comes out of exes mouth could be channelled elsewhere for a while.

Straw that broke my back!

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 08/09/2018 14:40

Her name.
Or “his name”s wife..

Had to laugh at “unlucky”. I guess i think of my ex’s wife as unlucky too- she deserves so much better.

flapjackfairy · 08/09/2018 14:41

Well if they had a long marriage she probably finds it hard to let go. Annoying for you but somewhat understandable.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 08/09/2018 14:45

Sorry, OP for butterface. Still bitter that he left me for someone who wasn't even younger or prettier than me. I must have been a right bitch! She's welcome to him, though.

takeittakeit · 08/09/2018 14:46

OP - I was married for 19 yrs - getting over it does not happen over night.

That EX had checked out 2 yrs before and had been shagging a mutual friend - just means he and she were further down an emotional walk. And no, I can not catch up 2 yrs of acceptance over night.

Hell 5 yrs down the line, I still go to the supermarket and pick up one particular food that EX loved. I put it down and curse myself every time.

AS to what I called her - till they split. By her name to the children and to my friends as my brain learned to cope - the Whore's Drawers!

Now I just do not give a damn - time heals but it takes time

Marie0 · 08/09/2018 14:50

We call her 'Psycho' as this pretty much sums her up!

Original poster
Lifeadminatwork · 08/09/2018 14:50

@TooMuchPenis - I’m not trying to erase their previous family unit at all? They managed that themselves when they divorced. I’m not just fucking their dad either!! My relationship with my step kids has been bloody hard work but we’re getting along just fine now. I’m sure the ex wishes I didn’t have to look after her kids (with their father) just as much as I have done in the past but the fact is I do.

OP posts:
AmIthatbloodycold · 08/09/2018 14:52

I call her his wife.

DD calls her banana head GrinGrinGrinGrin

Original poster
Lifeadminatwork · 08/09/2018 14:53

I don’t suggest she gets I’ve it overnight but we are in excess of five years down the line and the decision for them to split was, I believe, joint! I wasn’t around so just going on what I’m told.

OP posts:
GorgonLondon · 08/09/2018 14:56

Fuck me. What a horrible, spiteful, misogynist thread this is.

betrayedandwobbly · 08/09/2018 14:57

He hasn't remarried. I tend to call them 'the latest' (as he have lovebombed his way through several already). Though this one has a similar name to me, soIve been referring to her as 'Name2'. Not that I speak of her much, other than trying to fend off meeting the DC until they've actually been dating (not just phoning/emailing) for a few months (none has made it past the 3 month point once they've actually met him).

JacquesHammer · 08/09/2018 14:57

They managed that themselves when they divorced

That’s a weird way of thinking about it. Neither myself nor my ex considers our family unit to be erased. It has just evolved and taken a different path including welcoming a wonderful step-mum for my daughter who now has three loving parents.

HesterMacaulay · 08/09/2018 14:57

How do you know that she refers to you as current/ second wife?
If I'm talking to ex's wife I use her name. If I'm talking about her to someone else it would depend on who that person was or the context of the conversation.

Marie0 · 08/09/2018 15:00

I think I've misunderstood - is it your current partners ex wife? oh no I think it's your ex partners current wife, I don't have one of those!

Original poster
Lifeadminatwork · 08/09/2018 15:01

We have some joint acquaintances and the kids mention it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lifeadminatwork · 08/09/2018 15:02

It’s my husband’s ex wife who is referring to me.

OP posts:
Creeper8 · 08/09/2018 15:03

What annoys me more is when step mums refer to their step kids mum as “birth mother” gives me rage Angry

Original poster
Lifeadminatwork · 08/09/2018 15:04

My comment about erasing was just in response to the unpleasant poster who commented that I was trying to erase their family unit. I’ve done nothing of the sort, I’ve just tried to help my husband raise his kids since we got together. I’m not taking over from anyone nor would I want to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lifeadminatwork · 08/09/2018 15:06

I just call her the kids mum, or husband’s ex wife, or her name of course. Never thought to call her birth mum, horrible term!!

OP posts:
theWarOnPeace · 08/09/2018 15:10

I called my ex’s next partner “the stupid fucking devil bitch”, to myself and my friends because she was really unkind to my (ex) stepdaughter. When he ditched her and married a really nice woman who treats DSD beautifully, she is his wife to me. Obviously it depends on if the woman in question is nice or awful, and perhaps also the circumstances of the break up.

ohreallyohreallyoh · 08/09/2018 15:11

Unlucky

Oh that made me laugh!

AjasLipstick · 08/09/2018 15:11

I always think "Stepmum" is for a woman who'se completely replaced the birth Mother. So if the birth Mother was dead or ran away....and the Dad remarried and the new woman would then be the stepmother.

You're not ANY Mother if they're your partner's children and you're just there when they are....but they've got their actual Mother at home.

You're just their Dad's wife or partner.

HailSatan · 08/09/2018 15:17

New wife, latest wife, Ex's woman. It doesn't really matter, they are all true facts

SchadenfreudePersonified · 08/09/2018 15:21

Thank you for the :butterfat" definition, decorations - I've often wondered that myself.

JacquesHammer · 08/09/2018 15:21

You're not ANY Mother if they're your partner's children and you're just there when they are....but they've got their actual Mother at home

Gosh I hate the thought of that.

crosstalk · 08/09/2018 15:22

Just ask if you can be called by your first name - if I've understood your post. Surely that does in most situations? Technically you are his wife but also his second wife?

As for the rest of it - I'm surprised anyone allows their DC to badmouth their father's wife or does so themselves. Probably momentarily satisfying but not good for mental health. Especially, unless she got him to take down his pants and then to the altar with a shotgun, the exDH is complicit.