What would you call your exes wife??

[Lifeadminatwork]

New wife? Second wife? Wife is just fine thanks!

Im not insecure/needy/need to get out more, just wish the poison that comes out of exes mouth could be channelled elsewhere for a while.

Straw that broke my back!

Butterface is horrible. There's no need to insult peoples' physical appearance

Exactly. Nasty, petty and more than a little bit spiteful.

I used to call her "that poor girl" however, since she committed fraud in my name and I had to have her arrested to get her to stop, I call her "his pet moron"

Obviously not to the kids, just everyone else.

I call her by her name. Or dads girl friend.

I have strong views about step parents. And although both my parent remarried many years ago. They were referred to as my dads wife. My mums husband. I have a mum and dad.

As for ow. She has been on the scene for six months. The children spend 4 days a month with their dad. And although I am sure she is kind etc. She does none of the day to day stuff I do. I do the school stuff doctors appointments. Shoe shopping, nits. Clothes washing hair washing etc etc. She is another adult who cares for the children.

@Hester I didn’t actually say it’s insulting. It is however disrespectful and if I don’t like it then I’m entitled to that viewpoint whether you agree or not. If something is second it’s assumed it’s lesser! I am not a lesser wife to the wife she was.

Second is simply an ordinal number. I honestly can't see that in itself is disrespectful. It is factual.

Well that’s your view and mine is different.

Your whole relationship to the child is predicated on fucking their dad

Marriages might just be about fucking for you, but thankfully most people have a deeper connection than that.

Also I’m bloody glad my parents didn’t hold the (insecure) views of some parents on this thread as I’d have missed out on 2 wonderful relationships with my stepparents. Thankfully neither of them just “happened to be in the same house as me at the same time” or just “fucking my parents.”

Both parents supported my relationship with each stepparent and we were all the happier for it. No one let their jealously spoil my relationships.

What was the point of your post and why did you post in AIBU?

I call her by her name. She's not someone I would socialise with but my ex (who is a lovely man; just not the right man for me) loves her and she makes him happy so it's all good.

Butterface is great I'm stealing that!

again, it’s just fact, second wife, third wife, whatever. It simply denotes the number of wives before you. You aren’t his first wife are you? You are the second.

It doesn’t mean you are lesser, it’s simply numerical order. As long as he introduces you as his wife, you have your identity.

@Hester why do you feel I have to answer to your inane questioning? Unless I’m wrong this is a free country, this is a forum where anyone can ask anything in any place
They like? What is your problem?

There have been some interesting points raised, particularly on step parenting, you’re being pedantic and argumentative. I won’t be responding to anymore of your posts so stop demanding answers!

Unlucky?!

But seriously I think @idontbelieveinthemoon wrote a beautiful post about how it should be.

Why not take a leaf out of Terry Wogan's book and just refer to her as 'The Present Mrs [ex's surname]' ? Perfectly factual and, if they choose to take offence, that's their look-out.

I am the present Mrs ...... but thanks, I loved Terry Wogan and am not offended by that as it was humorous. The former Mrs .... is just spiteful.

I just want to thank @idontbelieveinthemoon for a beautiful post.

Well I call my husbands first wife his "Hex". Dunno what she calls me. I'm sure it's equally flattering.

If something is second it’s assumed it’s lesser! I am not a lesser wife to the wife she was.

So if someone tells you they've just had their second child, you assume they consider that child lesser?

Your readiness to take umbage at my perfecty reasonable questions is odd.

It's a discussion forum and you posted in AIBU. I chose to enter into the discussion and you chose to take offense

So if someone tells you they've just had their second child, you assume they consider that child lesser? exactly

If something is second it’s assumed it’s lesser!

Is it really though? I tend to think of it as getting it right second time round!

I am not a lesser wife to the wife she was

You’ll drive yourself mad thinking like that OP, it matters not one jot what kind of wife she was. The important thing is that the kind of wife she is is an ex wife! I couldn’t give a shiny shite what kind of wife DPs ex wife was, nor he about my XH. Because none of it is relevant to our relationship.

But you are his second wife? And his new wife. It's not second best it's second as in sequence. Like "second door along" it's not the second best door it's the second along.

I think your being petty for the sake of it. It's not particularly spiteful to say "bobs new wife" it's just descriptive assuming she's not saying it to your face.

Yeah and step parent is just someone married to your parent. It doesn't mean anything it's just a way of describing how someone might relate to you, if I as a stranger am talking to someone and they say "Jim's step mum" I immediately know who that is whilst if I'm talking to them they would have to say "bob, my ex, his new wife" which is just really annoying.

Marriages might just be about fucking for you, but thankfully most people have a deeper connection than that.

It really doesn't matter how deep is their love... The child didn't choose it.

My mother remarried when I was 30. I mean, I could start buying the man father's day presents but it would be a bit strange right? My relationship with him is again, solely down to who my mother chose to have a relationship with. And before you assume the worst, I actually like him. Probably more than my mother the narcissistic arsehole.

But you ARE his second wife. How is it ‘lesser’? If his first marriage was more important he wouldn’t be on his second one!