Re putting children on your lap on public transport

[user1485342611]

Someone in work this morning was saying that she had to stand the whole way in on the bus while at least three adults with toddlers allowed those toddler to take up a whole seat. We were all agreeing that they should have put the toddlers on their laps to free up 3 seats during rush hour. Apart from one colleague who has a 4 year old and didn't see why he should be denied a seat or she should have to put up with feeling 'a bit squashed' just so someone else could have the seat.

When I was a child it was just the norm for kids under a certain age to be pulled onto their mother's lap when the bus started filling up. No one thought twice about it.

AIBU to think it's a shame that parents don't do this anymore and that my colleague is being a bit selfish?

Creeper8 your poor DS, I think that sadly sums up the level of tolerance towards small children in this country.

I wouldn't I have my child next to me when we do take the bus I can't deal with holding on to her and having cramps in my legs after. I suffer with sciatica as it is and it hurts to even rest my handbag on my lap. 9/10 my bags are on the floor of my seat

I can cheerfully answer pleasant or neutral questions. I'm not going to respond conversationally to an accusatory charge that 'parents do not do this anymore'. My direct, on topic response is that you're wrong, many do.

I'd cringe if anyone said this to my child Something like this might work “excuse me young man” to the child “would you like to sit on mummy’s lap so that I can have a seat? I’m dreadfully tired.”

Why would you even speak to a strangers child? How bizzare

My 14yo sat on my lap on the tube the other day as none of the 6 young men glued to their phones would look up to offer a seat to a pregnant lady. Once upon a time it would have been automatic for able bodied men to give up their seats for pregnant, disabled, injured or older people - rarely happens these days except on the District Line.

If someone asked ds that he would simply answer “no thank you” anyway!

Posted to soon - meant to say IMO it is much worse that able-bodied people don't give up a seat for someone who needs it but pretend they haven't seen/are too busy on their phone than a parent with a young child not moving them to allow an adult to sit.

Creeper those passengers capable of standing should be ashamed

Or they'll grow into teenagers like the schoolgirls I once saw, who occupied the priority seats when there were elderly people with walking sticks, and one with a white stick, standing

I see this almost every day - the bus I get to work is unfortunately also the bus that goes past a huge secondary school.
I’ve asked teenagers to move on several occasions, not for me but for elderly or inform people, on one lovely occasion I asked a couple of girls to move for a gentleman who’s got on with two walking sticks. It’d rakwn him ages to get on & he was obviously very unsteady. The charming young ladies told me to fuck off when I asked them to move so he could sit down (I was standing).
I emailed the school after that one and the deputy head assured me they’d talk to the pupils about ‘respect’ etc. But if they did, it made no difference. The little gits still hog the seats every day.
I love the school holidays.

Nor would I MrsL My experience too.

I agree that very small children shouldn't have to stand, as they won't have the ability to hold on and prevent themselves from falling.

But at 7 years of age I was getting the bus to school, standing many times, and was well able to hold on and keep my balance. My 7 year old niece loves standing on the Luas (Dublin tram/train type transport) and is well able to keep her balance.

I think it’s about using your common sense. I know that I am able bodied, I can pick up my four year old and hold her on my hip so that others have space to stand/sit and she remains safe and won’t get bashed about.

I travel out of London a lot at the weekends and I am often carrying a suitcase, and laden with my daughters coat/backpack/teddy/whatever useless crap she insists on taking, but if the train is busy, I just try and make us as small as possible and stand in the corner, it may be sweaty and annoying but lots of people use the tube and sometimes people may appear ok, but for all I know they could have a hidden disability.

I make my daughter stand as she has a zip card so travels free. It massively fucks me off when people have their child taking up a seat. Especially during school holidays when the commuter trains are full. I actually had a kid next to in hysterics because I wouldn't give her my seat. My back was aching but her behaviour didn't help. She sat on her mums lap. To be fair a lot of people offer my daughter their seat but we decline because she needs to be taught to offer her seat to adults

That's appalling User149. What did the mum do while her spoilt child was having hysterics?

Had her on her lap. The grandmother was opposite saying under her breath about how people should give up their seat for the girl. And on the tube last week a child being carried by his father demanded a seat when someone gotup which should have gone to someone else. Raisng a spoilt brat in my view

I don't get why children are less deserving of seats, barring disability surely it's first come first served

Why are children being called spoilt? Kids are entitled to be tired too and you don't know what a reason could be that a child is not sat on someone's lap. For me I've mentioned already on this thread I cannot even rest my bag on my lap let alone hold my kids tightly on my lap on the bus thankfully I've never had to as our busses aren't usually packed. But Jesus Christ poor kids

I was recovering from surgery for a complex fracture in my arm. I was allowed to go into work late to avoid rush hour.

Unfortunately I got onto a bus with a group of 10/11 year olds on a school trip. I had to stand, hopelessly off balance with one arm in plaster trying to balance a handbag, laptop and hold on whilst the whole bus full of school children watched me. And yes, I do think one of them should have stood up.

All this aggro over seats is fucking ridiculous I've never seen such a shitty attitude to kids in my life.

Anita you don't think it's spoilt for a child to demand a seat and throw hysterics when they don't get it?

See the whole kids should offer a perfectly healthy adult their seat smacks of the kids are lesser creatures who get whatever food is left over, can have whatever heat gets past my body stuck in front of the fire etc.

My job as his mother is in part to protect and look after him. So he signs thank yo u every time we get off a bus or someone passes him a toy he's dropped etc and he see's me modelling considerate behaviour by offering my seat if someone needs it, holding doors for people, sticking up for others politely etc. but I'll always way up which of us NEEDS the seat etc more, not which of us is more worthy.

I pay for my passage and my sons passage is free. We don't pay for seats which is why I don't get a discount if I stand

Definitely the child should be sitting on their parents' lap. There's no excuse for them taking up a seat if other people need it on the way to work.

5 year old DS goes on my lap as soon as train / bus starts to fill up.

Loving the contempt for experts in the comments lexer.

I also don’t like the branding of children as spoilt, as Anita pointed out, children get tired and restless just as much as adults do. I look after a little boy who has Aspergers, he would not be able to cope being seated on my lap, the contact would cause such distress. No one would know he was on the autistic spectrum, and I would be mortified if some one labelled him spoilt.
Perhaps it’s better to pass less judgment...