To worry that my baby will always be second best?

[NameChangeyMcChangerson]

I think IA being a bit U, so prepared for people to tell me to grow up! I have a 7 week old baby. My nephew is 9 months. I adore him (I will admit to finding my SIL's pregnancy a bit hard to be around as I miscarried around the same time my nephew was conceived, but I've adored him ever since he was here), but I've started feeling a bit jealous on DS's behalf, which I know is terrible - my nephew is a baby!

The other day my mum came to see DS and immediately started telling me all about the cute/funny things DN does. The thing is, obviously DN does do funny, cute things and with every will in the world my tiny baby doesn't do much to talk about yet - he sleeps, eats and very occasionally smiles! But I worry that this will always be true - DN will always do everything first and so be at a more interesting stage.

When I was pregnant people asked a lot if it was my parents' first GC and I got a lot of disappointed 'ohs' when I said no - people seemed to think it was particularly disappointing that I was having another boy, so he's not a first anything. I found this a bit upsetting - I was so excited to be having my baby after a long time waiting and hoping - but brushed it off, but I'm now wondering - is a second grandchild always that bit less special? AIBU to worry that he'll always be second best?

Babies are boring, sorry OP. You know you're being unreasonable. DS is 7 months younger than his cousin and it used to get my back up hearing MIL talk about how smart X is (they are!) how well they were coming along etc. But I knew I was being unreasonable. And as DS got older she would gush at how amazing he is, how everyone loves him and how he is so well liked. It's early days op

I think the first grandchild is a milestone for our parents/us but I’ve never found that the first grandchild is preferred because of it. It’s just like anything that happens for the first time - the event is a big deal.

I bet your sil is having the same thoughts with mil coming to her saying her cute your ds is. Dont worry every child brings their own love and personality!

SIL sounds nice, thought for a moment she’d be posting on here saying your cute baby stole her DS’s limelight! Bet she’s thrilled you had a child so they can play together.
Ignore the 1st grandchild conversations - honestly people just end up repeating stock phrases because they just don’t know what to say but want to have a conversation! Example -
me to colleague: is your mum excited? (About the baby)
Her: yes
Me (in my head): (oh no, of course she’s excited, she’s not an evil witch)

My child is the 10th grandchild. I don't think it really matters. Try not to worry about something that might not happen.

YANBU, but as you've said you and your brother will always be treated fairly, I don't think you have anything to worry about

A first grandchild is exciting, as is a first child (in pregnant with my second now and have to admit I never check the pregnancy apps etc like I did with my first, oops!) but once they're toddler/school age there won't be any more "firsts" and they'll just be viewed as individuals.

I do sympathise though. DS is the first grandchild on my PILs side and DNephew is only 3 months younger; DS is clearly the favourite, "special" one (even though he ended up walking later than DN! He is a genuinely sunny natured child though so easy to adore whereas from what I can gather DN is hard work). My PIL are like that though, and favoured their own children growing up, whereas yours don't sound like they are at all. If any comparisons do come up like "oh DN did this and that at x age, why isn't your DS?" than nip it in the bud.

But yes how lovely that they'll grow up so close! DS has no cousins in this country and won't for a long time, so it's a shame for him.