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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this woman was a bitch?!

123 replies

Sugarplumdinosaur · 03/09/2018 10:15

So last week I was sitting in the waiting room of my daughter dance class, along with several of the other mums. They were all having a discussion around one of the children, whose birthday party had been held the weekend before. I am reasonably friendly with these mums when I see them each week, and my child gets on well with theirs. They were talking about all the "cool" presents the birthday child recieved, when the mum of the birthday child turned to me and said "oh and thanks so much for your gift (childs name) just loved it". I looked at her blankly and replied "I didn't know there was a party, we weren't there?"... awkward silence then she laughed and said "Oh thats right you weren't invited " before turning her back to me and continuing her talk with the other mums.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking that was a bitchy thing to do? It felt like she set the conversation up to go that way, or do you think I am perhaps being too sensitive and perhaps she just felt embarrassed?

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 03/09/2018 10:16

Definitely bitch. Reminds me of Mean Girls

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 03/09/2018 10:16

Yes sounds like an utter cow. What did the other women do?

SlimmingMumOf1 · 03/09/2018 10:18

Dickhead

MrsChollySawcutt · 03/09/2018 10:19

Not surprised she went quiet, I would think her toes were curling in embarrassment having been caught out in such a blatant lie, thanking you for a non existent gift that her DD 'loved'.

You definitely won that round OP.

pasturesgreen · 03/09/2018 10:20

I'm Shock at how spectacularly rude this woman was! Don't make excuses for her, I can 100% guarantee it was deliberate and no, she didn't feel embarrassed because she's a rude cow who engineered the whole conversation to make you feel bad.

Put as much distance between you and your DD and the hateful clique as possible.

Fromage · 03/09/2018 10:22

She is a weirdo.

YouBetterWORK · 03/09/2018 10:22

If she had any sense of decency, she'd be mortified and apologising for the mistake, and lack of invite. Nope. Queen Mega-Bitch from the planet Bitchatron. Sorry OP Sad

thecatsarecrazy · 03/09/2018 10:23

She sounds like a cunt. Please stay well away from her

1HitWonder · 03/09/2018 10:24

Yep, bitch

Dontletthebastardsgrindyoudown · 03/09/2018 10:24

Shockwtf?

EK36 · 03/09/2018 10:24

See it as a good thing, now you've seen her true colours. Never make small chat with her nor do her any favours. Don't understand the point of doing that to you. If she was embarrassed then she should have said, sorry at least!

Sugarplumdinosaur · 03/09/2018 10:25

My jaw dropped I was that surprised at her response. I'm unsure if I'm in some way to blame for it? Like, did she think I was being rude when I said we were not there? I know I can speak pretty bluntly at the best of times, and that often comes across as rude, but I was just being honest. Is there a way I could have responded with more tact, to have avoided that sort of response?

OP posts:
AnEPleaseBob · 03/09/2018 10:25

I can't imagine having the kind of mind that would assume that it was all calculated bitchery to get at you.
Its far more likely that she forgot she hadn't invited you and she was trying to cover her slip.

dancinfeet · 03/09/2018 10:25

My god she sounds horrible!Keep an eye on that one, she will be peering over your DD's shoulder trying to compare dance exam reports to see who got the highest mark!!
I think she made a complete tit of herself, and hopefully the other mums present will see her for being a horrible and shallow person. I can't stand this sort of thing in my dance school, and any sort of bitching is frowned up / stamped out by me if I get to know about it. I'm sure the odd thing still goes on, but anything brought to my attention like this I deal with, can't abide bitchy dance parents! Give me the nice supportive ones any day. Did the other dance mums say anything?

Gersemi · 03/09/2018 10:30

Console yourself that she outed herself to the other mothers. They will now be aware that, when she says her daughter loved their presents, she was obviously lying and has no clue what they gave.

SnuggyBuggy · 03/09/2018 10:33

This, she showed herself up as a fake bitch

SerenDippitty · 03/09/2018 10:34

Bitch. If it was a genuine error she would have said “oh I’m so sorry, I’ve got you mixed up with someone else’.

Juells · 03/09/2018 10:35

Not surprised she went quiet, I would think her toes were curling in embarrassment having been caught out in such a blatant lie, thanking you for a non existent gift that her DD 'loved'.

I'm not paranoid, but if someone did that to me I'd assume they thanked me for the gift just to set me up for humiliation. Some people really are that bullying.

Is your child better than hers in the dance class? When people try to humiliate you it's usually because they're jealous.

eddielizzard · 03/09/2018 10:35

She's a twerp. She prob forgot and then was embarrassed and said the first thing that came to mind. Awful tho. She's the one who comes across badly, not you.

mintich · 03/09/2018 10:37

Didn't the other women say anything? I'm so lucky to be surrounded by normal mums. I can't believe these idiots exist! It's like they never left school

MissVanjie · 03/09/2018 10:37

I’d have laughed, it was super awks for her. It’s entirey possible that it might have popped out sounding bitchy because she was so mortified at not remembering who was there and who gave what gift.

MissVanjie · 03/09/2018 10:38

“I'm not paranoid, but if someone did that to me I'd assume they thanked me for the gift just to set me up for humiliation.“

No that literally is the definition of paranoid sorry

BigBlueBubble · 03/09/2018 10:39

Had you given a gift? Don’t give any more. How nasty to exclude your child from a birthday party. I’d seriously consider switching to another dance class as clearly neither you or your child are wanted or included in this group. Switch before your child is old enough to understand that she’s being excluded.

Fitzsimmons · 03/09/2018 10:39

Is there any history with her OP? Is your DD considered better at dancing than hers for example? I wonder if it was a deliberate attempt to highlight that she had excluded your DD from the party. She sounds awful.

Freewheelin74 · 03/09/2018 10:40

100% cock womble. Steer clear.