PIL- unreasonable comments

[Firsttimer1234]

Nothing but problems with my PIL since I had my little one three months ago. Never ending they seem at the minute. Today's latest: they complained a few months ago about not seeing LO enough so we have made an effort for everyone's sake to go and see them twice a week. Not that I was happy with this. More than enough in my opinion. My own parents only see him once a fortnight because eof distance. Anyway, over the last two weeks, four visits, on two occasions he has been asleep. We don't have a nap routine yet. He tends to just sleep when he wants and has been sleeping more lately due to a growth spurt. I posted a picture on Instagram last night of Him smiling, something he has done many times, and they have seen this in person. My MIL then immediately text my husband with this, 'Are you purposely drugging him when he comes to see us because he looks like he's having fun at home and he's been asleep twice when we've seen him.' she hasn't spoke or replied to my husband since. No kisses and heart and smilies like she would usually add on a text. AIBU to be annoyed about this? If he's asleep he's asleep, you don't wake a sleeping baby right? It's just unfortunate if he's asleep when their there sometimes.

Just to add, I feel slightly annoyed because it's not as if they see him once a month and he's been asleep and they have to wait weeks on end to see him again. They see him twice a week without fail.

I’d be incredibly angry at someone saying that; even if it was a joke it’s a pretty disgusting thing to joke about.
Also twice a week is quite a lot imo

You go and see them every time. Tell them to visit you.

I’d just reply “no” and leave it there.

Twice a week is a LOT, at this stage babies sleep a lot. Tell them to jog on.

That's bloody awful. I have GC's and at that age I would not expect you to visit twice a week. Why don't they visit you ?
What on earth did your DH say to them ?

What was your husband’s reply? I hope he gave her a bollocking for accusing you of child abuse!

What the f!

Completely inappropriate comment to make. I would hold off on visits until they realise what they've said was wrong. If they want to see baby then they can make the effort to come see you.

He's 3 months old and you're taking him to see them twice a week? I'd knock that on the head for a start.

Oooo I know text back: “ well we asked xxxx if they wanted to go and see you and they replied that they didn’t want to and asked us to drug them so that they could sleep through it”

I suggest you stop catering to them immediately, because you are only making a rod for your own back. They know where you live, they can visit you as well. Take control of your life and create the boundaries you need to be comfortable. And if your husband doesn't back you up and set his parents straight, you have a far bigger problem than just your in-laws.

I got the whole "oh is he STILL asleep" comments. Yep still asleep this is pretty much all he does. Used to drive me nuts. Never had them accuse me of drugging my child though that's just sick.

Now I have a whole new problem as if DS is really tired he will only settle with me. I have to practically wrestle him back.

It's a phase, eventually he will be awake more and hopefully this will please them Also stop going around twice a week if you don't want to go just say you haven't got time as you need to get baby into a routine.

The woman's ridiculous. It stands to reason that if they see him for two or three hours a week whilst you see him for 24 hours a day, you will have plenty of opportunities to catch the occasional moment when he smiles.

I'd suggest your DH tells them that that sort of comment is incredibly offensive and unless they accept the basic fact that babies sleep you will not be taking your child somewhere where you are subjected to these objectionable accusations.

Wtf. He's still very young and babies that age can sleep a lot.

Do they make any effort to come and see you?

Please don't justify these stupid people with a response...I would become slightly busy too next time I was due to go..Surely an appointment could crop up? one that had completely slipped your mind...don't take their crap OP..silly woman playing games time she grew up!

I'd be so bloody angry with this! Not even any other words!

Do not set any visiting routine, do not. You will never get out of it.

That’s a really inappropriate comment to make. I’d be unavailable next week.

I agree - don't have a visiting routine, especially with someone as jealous and nasty as this.

If they find the visits so disappointing, perhaps it's best that you stop making the effort to go.

I think its unreasonable that you are having to always go to their house and twice a week!

Tell them that these twice weekly visits seem to be wearing DS out and so perhaps you ought to cut it back to once a week!

What a ridiculous comment! What is it with some people suddenly becoming like jealous children when they have grandchildren? It baffles me

Def stop going so regularly and often.

Thanks for the responses guys. Nice to no it's not just me. They don't make the effort to come see us because after visiting everyday without asling for the first three weeks of us being home, My husband had to ask them to stop visiting everyday and turning up unannounced at 9.00 on a sunday morning or 8 at night. He very nicely asked them to text before a visit so we could let them know if it was a good time. They don't see why they should, their words, so therefore the expectation is that we now go to them.
They expected to be in and out of our house everyday, them to have had him overnight and to babysit all the time. Because thats what all her friends who have grandparents do. He was two weeks old, a day out of hospital and they asked to have him overnight. He's three month old, was 8 weeks prem and that just not our style. We're happy having with us. MIL once text husband having a go at him because we were at the supermarket and she thought that we would leave him with her if we had to go out!