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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

PIL- unreasonable comments

111 replies

Firsttimer1234 · 02/09/2018 16:11

Nothing but problems with my PIL since I had my little one three months ago. Never ending they seem at the minute. Today's latest: they complained a few months ago about not seeing LO enough so we have made an effort for everyone's sake to go and see them twice a week. Not that I was happy with this. More than enough in my opinion. My own parents only see him once a fortnight because eof distance. Anyway, over the last two weeks, four visits, on two occasions he has been asleep. We don't have a nap routine yet. He tends to just sleep when he wants and has been sleeping more lately due to a growth spurt. I posted a picture on Instagram last night of Him smiling, something he has done many times, and they have seen this in person. My MIL then immediately text my husband with this, 'Are you purposely drugging him when he comes to see us because he looks like he's having fun at home and he's been asleep twice when we've seen him.' she hasn't spoke or replied to my husband since. No kisses and heart and smilies like she would usually add on a text. AIBU to be annoyed about this? If he's asleep he's asleep, you don't wake a sleeping baby right? It's just unfortunate if he's asleep when their there sometimes.

OP posts:
BasicUsername · 04/09/2018 15:15

So, what have you decided to do about this situation @Firsttimer1234 ?

Firsttimer1234 · 08/09/2018 11:25

Well the finale straw was on Sunday, when they turned up at 8.30 in the morning, 'just for a cuupa', this was after no communication and them not coming to ours for weeks. Luckily, we were just heading out for a walk due to an unsuccessful night. Who turns up unannounced and uninvited at 8.30 on a Sunday?? So, they just drove off. I haven't seen/ spoken since. I think there has been some texting between my husband and them. More generally then about anything. My husband has just turned round and said that we should go see them tomorrow. I have refused. I have asked him several times if he has spoken to them about their comments and he hasn't. So therefore, I'm not going and taking LO to see them. Unreasonable?

OP posts:
Gersemi · 08/09/2018 11:49

Not unreasonable. If anyone turned up at our house unannounced at 8.30 on a Sunday, there is no chance that we would even open the door.

Lollypop701 · 08/09/2018 11:59

Great time to put some boundaries in place. The first discussion is with dh on what you both agree to be reasonable, then take it from there. Good luck op

LionsHeart · 08/09/2018 12:00

I think I would want to see the text messages to make sure that I was not being painted as unreasonable, or entirely to blame. Are you certain that you & DH are entirely in agreement on this?

RockinHippy · 08/09/2018 13:53

Whoah Shock They are outrageous!

You need to pull right back & put your foot down now. Use this highly inappropriate comment as a spring board to stop that ridiculous twice a week visit situation & back away from them all together. They are toxic as hellShock

Trust me, if they are doing this with such a young baby, it will only get worse as they grow. Much worse!

MulticolourMophead · 08/09/2018 15:07

I agree with LionsHeart, I'd be interested in the messages on your DH's phone, he really doesn't seem quite on board with you, OP.

Stromi13 · 09/09/2018 04:13

Your mil is a c$&t. She needs to be told NO. Stop answering texts, calls and the door. Stop providing information on your lives. She should get nothing. And Stop seeing her so much and stand your ground - your husband pushing to visit them will also cause you to resent him so get him on your side

Talith · 09/09/2018 05:30

You are a parent now and have to stand up for yourself for the sake of your child. They sound draining. Just ignore them or tell them to give you space, and concentrate on what you need.

ohfourfoxache · 09/09/2018 10:23

Holy fuck on a fiddlestick Shock

No, not unreasonable. Not unreasonable at all.

PositivelyPERF · 09/09/2018 13:36

Your mil is a c$&t

It’s ok, Stromi13, you can type cunt! It’s Mumsnet! 😆

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