To ask her to pay the difference?

[askawayy]

My mother wants to come on holiday with us next year. Adding an extra room onto our holiday accommodation pushes the cost up by £150 as it moves the price band up a tier, which we can't afford to pay. This is our first family holiday in years as we have not been able to afford it, we will also have to take 2 cars as with my dm coming we can't all fit in one which increases our fuel costs (7 hour drive). Aibu to ask her to pay the difference in our costs? My sisters are horrified that we have asked her for money and apparently she is 'funding our holiday'

Of course she needs to pay. Especially as she asked to come.

Could you hire a bigger car that would fit you all in rather than taking two? That way you're all together, without two people having to drive and would only be one fuel tank to take care of. And yes definitely ask her to contribute, but let her know that you've minimised the costs as much as possible by doing this? (Assuming it makes it cheaper)

I think you should ask for a contribution. I am lucky in that my parents treat me to holidays, but they are a lot better off than me. However, I always offer to pay, so your Mum should really do the same, especially given that you can only really just afford your own holiday costs.

A lucky escape! But I agree with PPs the worst thing would be having to go in 2 separate cars!! How miserable - even if you could easily afford it all. If this crops up again (what about your upcoming weekend away?) I would definitely see that as a deal breaker - unless you can go by train or hire a bigger car, then just no! Anyway - I hope you all have a lovely time next year!

I know this has been resolved now, but...

Are you annoyed/bothered/surprised by your mum wanting to come on your only family holiday for years which would necessitate you taking an extra car and a bigger house?

If your siblings are so morally outraged and know what a difficult position you are in, could they not club together to help out and pay the difference rather than being holier than thou?

Oh see it's resolved. Good-o.

If your sisters want to take your mum on holiday with them that’s up to them, you shouldn’t feel obliged to. It sounds as though your mum does pretty well for herself holiday-wise, whereas you don’t. I would just have a conversation with her assuming she ISNT going and plan your holiday. Your own family should come first and this could be your only holiday for a while from what you have said so don’t ruin it by taking your mum. Don’t want to sound mean but that’s the bottom-line. You are taking her away in Nov so you shouldn’t feel bad. I wouldn’t talk too much about it just put it to bed quickly and get on with it. If your sisters have an issue just let it go over your head and say you are taking her away in Nov. You are allowed time as a family doing what you want. Where would the costs end.. your mum would expect you to pay for everything probably: everytime you go for a meal, day out etc, it would probably make for a very stressful time and awkward conversations asking your mum to pay for herself each time. its not fair for that kind of extra money pressure to be put on you, plus you are getting nothing out of it, quite the opposite. Be strong and do what’s right for your marriage and family - no mum.

Oh it’s sorted. Should have read everything properly!, good for you!

So your siblings take her for one holiday and have some family time on another. but you’re expected to take her twice? I honestly think you’ve got the best outcome.

Enjoy your holiday. Next time you want to go on holiday, make sure you book it for a time when she has already arranged to go on one of the other holidays with your siblings ;)

We have just been on holiday with my dad who is a widower. He asked how much he owed so we told him the extra person supplement (about £80) which he paid. He also paid towards the grocery shopping and meals out. Surely it is normal to do it like that unless you’re rolling in cash or the parent is massively hard up?

Are you the family scapegoat, by any chance? Is there history of your mother and sisters ganging up on you or taking the piss, or is it just because you and your DP are on a lower income than the rest of them?

We have done all ways with dp. Sometimes we when they were flush they paid more, sometimes we paid more... Sometimes all equal. Never that much money floating around so its whoever had more leeway at the time. The key thing was going away together. Also acxmd etc all had group in put, half the fun was all deciding where to go, where to stay.

People won't like this but dh parents v wealthy, once decided on destination and accmd. Dh and I were not consulted like we aren't for anything then they asked us to pay contribution.

We didn't go. We, he didn't get on well with them anyway... And being asked to pay for somewhere we had nothing chosen even though they covered flights from air miles etc... Didn't appeal.

YANBU just ask her and tell her you can't afford the difference, be honest she surely would be reasonable about it & pay

Gordon Bennett. Do you want her to come on holiday with you? Next time, think about that and gave an answer ready for your mum. She sounds like a cheeky bugger.

Enjoy your holiday!

Enjoy your holiday - then tell mum how hilly it was and any other aspects she wouldn't have liked!