To be very annoyed at husband's drinking at our pre-baby gathering

[nervousFTM]

I'm 8 months pregnant and yesterday my husband and I had a gathering at a local bar/restaurant with about 30-40 friends and family - a last 'party' before baby comes next month. We usually have joint birthday drinks but didn't do so this year, so I suppose this was kind of in lieu of that. Except it's a pre-baby thing and not a birthday piss-up, and lots of friends brought their young kids.

Anyway, we were apart much of the day as had a mix of friends as we usually do at our joint do's. Little did I know how much booze he was knocking back (shots and the like) until a bit later- when he starts to slur a bit and has his drunk voice on and then totally denies he's drunk 🙄 I suffer from pelvic girdle pain so was dying by the end of the day. Some of my family were staying over and we had to sort things out at home for that, but he wanted to stay out drinking.

He's not an alcoholic or anything but I don't think he's been this drunk since I fell pregnant - AIBU to be this annoyed that he chose to get so wasted at our joint pre-baby party (when clearly I cannot be drinking)? I did notice him buying a few rounds so it's not like he 'had' to drink everything people were buying him.

He finally came back home after me nagging on text for about an hour but then proceeded to argue with me over the takeaway delivery (some was missing) - he was making no sense at all! I also made him sleep on the sofa as the smell of booze makes me 🤢 still feeling a bit annoyed this morning tbh.

But Op what do you honestly think were the chances of him having soft drinks at your get together in a pub? Given that you know he likes a drink!

God I hate these drip feeds

Op. Am I being unreasonable.
Mumsnet. Yes
Op actuallyim not because I forgot to tell you he's actually a total alkie who gets pissed every two weeks. Forget what I said he hadn't been like that for a year. Oh and I also lied saying I nagged for an hour. It was three texts honest. Am I still unreasonable, Im not am I. It's him. It's him, ffs tell me it's him.

Mumsnet. Sigh.

I don’t think it was a drip feed. It wasn’t very likely to have been a one off. That kind of drinking Is usually a pattern.

Drip, drip, drippity drip.

@Bluntness100 bit mean!

Most people don't go to a pub to have a soft drink. It's rather like going to McDonalds to have a salad.

Right on Bluntness100.

Sorry guys didn't realise I was drip feeding, thought I was answering comments - brain not on top form at this stage of pregnant so didn't get it all in one. We only hosted this in a local restaurant/bar because it would have been way too much trouble to host at home - didn't choose the venue so that guests could get bladdered.

*pregnancy (but proves a point I guess)

I've not got past the pre baby party stuff yet!!

Is it a baby shower then? Or have you had that and this is a different thing?

@50Running50 yes, I guess a baby shower! Hubby was keen to do something joint and I'm way more introvert so was happy to oblige.

I guessed his drinking habits from the OP. If other people didn’t that’s on them.

A pre baby do.
Stop the world I want to get off

I don't see the issue. What was he meant to do?
(I would of had a couple of weak ones myself though, as indeed I did when I was pregnant).

Probably already been said but yanbu .

My dh stopped drinking anything 4 weeks before I was due so there was no risk if I went early. He also realised that I didn't drink so as to take the best of care for OUR child. I was doing the hard graft carrying the baby so he did what he could to help me rest as much as possible.

When you are in a partnership your family and friends become his. So he should be there and with it enough to help host them as well.

We are no longer in the 50s and I firmly believe men who have a 50/50 responsibility for the baby inside you should pull their weight when it comes to the home and making sure you are in the best of health to deliver their baby.

I don't think you were BU either.

Lots of our friends happen to be expecting babies at the moment, and the DHs aren't drinking.
Likewise my dh wouldn't have had a drink when I was 8 months pregnant, just in case. That was his own decision, I never even had to ask him.

After all, It's not unusual at all for babies to arrive from 36 weeks.

There's a distinct undertone here of assumption that men can't or shouldn't be expected to control themselves around booze. Which is quite insulting to a lot of men really.

Loads of people drip feed when their thread doesn't go their way.

So predictable and annoying.

OP you sound incredibly dull. Life doesn't stop because you're pregnant. You're husband was enjoying himself and you sound incredibly jealous of this which is an issue on your part not his. My best friends baby just arrived at 28 weeks. Should every pregnant couple put their lives on hold just incase.

Dull?

She's 8 months pregnant. I'd call that, being responsible

You would have had kinder and more understanding responses had you posted this on the pregnancy board OP

She's pregnant it doesn't mean the world revolves around her. And if people are staying at hers why on God's earth didn't she get it ready before. I had pgp and spd so I sympathise but I wasn't entitled like the op and my ex h was tee total

Dull? To object to an adult man flinging shots down his neck and getting roaring drunk is dull now?

I actually missed the part of the op that states it was shots he was knocking back.

TBH, if I saw the husband of an 8 month pregnant woman doing that, I'd think 'what a complete f**king idiot' and I'd feel nothing but sympathy for her.

Op.

Of course it's annoying when someone is drunk and you're sober. It doesn't mean he's done anything wrong and making him out to be some sort of drunken party animal is probably far from the truth. It's not ok to do it just to try to get randoms on here to agree with you.

Let it go. You had a party. He had fun. No harm was done. It's shit you can't drink but that's pregnancy for you. This is the last few weeks of being alone as a couple, don't ruin it by getting your arse in your hands over your husband having a few too many at your party.

Appreciate the opinions! All well in our household and he's even done some hard grafting now getting the house clean after everyone left so all good.

PS - yes I am VERY dull right now being pretty heavily pregnant @Greggers2017 😒