To be very annoyed at husband's drinking at our pre-baby gathering

[nervousFTM]

I'm 8 months pregnant and yesterday my husband and I had a gathering at a local bar/restaurant with about 30-40 friends and family - a last 'party' before baby comes next month. We usually have joint birthday drinks but didn't do so this year, so I suppose this was kind of in lieu of that. Except it's a pre-baby thing and not a birthday piss-up, and lots of friends brought their young kids.

Anyway, we were apart much of the day as had a mix of friends as we usually do at our joint do's. Little did I know how much booze he was knocking back (shots and the like) until a bit later- when he starts to slur a bit and has his drunk voice on and then totally denies he's drunk 🙄 I suffer from pelvic girdle pain so was dying by the end of the day. Some of my family were staying over and we had to sort things out at home for that, but he wanted to stay out drinking.

He's not an alcoholic or anything but I don't think he's been this drunk since I fell pregnant - AIBU to be this annoyed that he chose to get so wasted at our joint pre-baby party (when clearly I cannot be drinking)? I did notice him buying a few rounds so it's not like he 'had' to drink everything people were buying him.

He finally came back home after me nagging on text for about an hour but then proceeded to argue with me over the takeaway delivery (some was missing) - he was making no sense at all! I also made him sleep on the sofa as the smell of booze makes me 🤢 still feeling a bit annoyed this morning tbh.

YABU and controlling

So you went to a bar all day with a bu DH if mates and he drank ?

Arguing by text is pathetic.

*your DH and mates

You're being ridiculous

YABU, give the poor man a break.

I can sympathise with your annoyance at having to do all the preparation for guests on your own when you are in pain. If that were not the case however I would say YABU. Especially if he does not usually get drunk and you said earlier it was partly instead of your birthdays as well.

YABU.

He finally came back home after me nagging on text for about an hour

For this alone, YABU.

It sounds ok to me too. Its a last blow out type gathering isn’t it? I am really not a male apologist but it’s easy to forget how scary and stressful preparing for a baby can be for men too. I’d just forget about it and probbaly feel jealous I couldn’t do the same!

I think you’re being a bit unreasonable. My DP had one last blow out this time last year before I gave birth. He got drunk, had a good time with his mates then came home and slept it off. That was it. If it’s not a regular thing then I’d let it go today

Yabu.

This is ridiculous YABU!!

To be honest, this comment when clearly I cannot be drinking makes it sound as though you are jealous that he could drink and you couldn't. Clearly, from your other comments about him not being 'this drunk'since before you were pregnant, it is not unusual for him to be drunk, so why organise a big get together in a pub if you don't want him to drink?
YABU

YANBU, while he should be enjoying a drink or two it’s so annoying when you’re heavily pregnant and everyone else is getting drunker and drunker while you’re sipping on a J2-sodding-O!

PGP is awful, I had it from 24 weeks so you have my sympathies OP. Having a drink husband rambling on and stinking of booze is awful when you’re pregnant so again, my sympathies OP At least it’s done now - can you plan something for yourself for about a month after you’ve had the baby? I had an afternoon out at a concert with some friends a month after mine, it was lovely to get the chance to let my hair down after pregnancy, childbirth and my first month being a Mam. It also gave my husband six hours of looking after a newborn so he could understand what I actually do all day while he’s at work!

Surprised he came back at all after thr grief you were giving him by text

You had an all day drinks party in a bar and you’re surprised he’s had a lot to drink?

You don’t need to nag someone by text for an hour either.

YABU, sorry OP

What are actually annoyed at? The fact he was able to get pissed but you couldn't?

YABU

I think things are going to be very tough when the baby arrives if this is how you go on.

YANBU but this is the UK where getting fuck-faced drunk is a human right apparently.

Next time, don't hold a party in a bar............. or put a pair of toddler reins on him so you can control his behaviour.

Yes, as others said, you are being unreasonable - you had a party in a Pub.....you knew there was going to be alcohol there, you knew you wouldn’t be able to drink, why did you organise a party if you didn’t think you’d enjoy it if you couldn’t drink?!

Sometimes it's not a deliberate proactive choice to get wasted, as you so eloquently put it and as you were a drinker youtself prepregnancy I suspect you know this. You get caught up with friends, the atmosphere and go over your limit, lose your inhibitions and just consume too much. Often you don't even realise you're drunk.

It doesn't sound like you were very nice to him, nagging him for an hour, etc. Basically trying to ruin what was a good day for him and control his behaviour.

He's an adult in his own right. No harm was done. This isn't a regular occurance. Try to play nice.

YANBU but this is the UK where getting fuck-faced drunk is a human right apparently.

thanks for just about the only sane comment on the thread

Is there more to this OP?

Given what you have posted then I can't see too much wrong here. It wasn't ideal he got pissed but you did throw a party in a pub ? It's not as if he was swigging from a secret hipflask in church!!

You are heavily pregnant, everything can feel like a big deal but I wouldn't let it ruin your weekend.