To ask how much child maintenance you get?

[Ellen7262]

Just a rough figure. DD's dad contributed £40 a month for the first two months after we split and since then sweet fuck all. I have absolutely no clue how much a father should be paying for his child and no idea even where to start on getting him to pay.

He is NC with her, however his DM makes a big effort with her. If he's on a similar wage now to what he was at the time I was with him then he will be around the £40k mark.

Side note - I am financially comfortable even without payments from him, WIBU to claim if I don't technically need the money?

It's happening to me, and I never dreamed in a million years that it would (despite it happening to my dm) because I married a man I thought was very kind and decent

Me too Postino. I'd confiscate NRPs passport and driving licence for non payment or attempting to underpay.

There are too many ways for NRPs to get out of paying.

The CMS have the opportunity to get NRPs passports and driving licences removed off them. But as soon as NRPs go onto benefits, that's it. Can't chase arrears.

£28 a month. Made a claim in April. He made a one off payment of £230 in June that the CMS calculated from his wages, the very next day I got a letter from the CMS stating he was now claiming benefits and therefore it would go down to the minimum.

I would bet my own life on the fact that he is most definitely working cash in hand (he's in a trade notorious for being in high demand and well paid, with all his own equipment and tools) yet CMS cannot do anything about it (even when I pointed out that he has an account for his limited company where I bet there is quite a substantial sum accumulating) - not their job, they go on what the job centre tells them... It's actually insulting to receive such a paltry amount, and really it makes such little difference that I almost rather wouldn't have it, I don't want to stoop to his level.

As an aside, I note that my princely sum has not made an appearance in my account yet (due yesterday)... how much grace do they give and what happens if the money is still not paid? Do th CMS actually take any action? They have been pretty useless so far...

He pays £22 a week for two kids
And that’s only because they went into his bank account to get it
If was up to him he’d still be refusing to pay anything

I get £97 a week for 2. They have 3 children and I regularly get messages asking me to take a lesser amount or miss a monthbecause they need to buy school uniform or do something for their boys.

He only pays it because I spoke to the Army when he was playing silly buggers with it.

Do cms ever use these powers, Hugh?

They got a court order against my ex for the arrears. Checked his bank accounts. Next step was driving licence ... He went on benefits.

My ex was giving me £200 a month, I was a fool and accepted that, finally after the straw that broke the camel's back I went to cms, I now get £1426 a month

I would like to see the rules altered so cms is calculated before additional pension contributions are taken into account rather than after. I don't see why the children's present should pay for the NRPs future.

Me ex gives me £80 a month. I could do without it but why should the wanker get away with paying nothing? He lives back with his parents so pays no bills except his phone, has nights out every week, goes on holidays with his gf & her DD. I recently told him how much DS's uniform for this year had cost and his mum sent me £60 towards it

I'm so sorry for all of you who are getting nothing from your ex partners. Some men are shit. Your kids are all lucky to have you though

I agree Sue51. One of the reasons I’ll probably never query my ex’s amount (which was correct based on when we split, but probably not reflective of increases and bonuses) is that if I do, he’s likely to look into the loopholes such as increasing pension contributions to avoid an increase in CM and we might end up worse off.

@Motherbear26 your assumption is wrong. She worked full time in a creative industry - which was her passion - on a low wage. She had a nanny for her DC... a nanny which DH paid for even after their separation.

I get £180 for 2 children, it's very difficult for me to calculate if this is correct or not as I have no idea what he earns, but he is in full time work. He has one other child with his partner, whom he lives with. (she has a good job by the way, and is the higher earner. I don't expect her to contribute towards my DDs, but just so clarify that they aren't struggling as a household).

My DD's are not stupid - they see his comfortable lifestyle, and the money he spends on luxuries for himself which he is happy to show them all his latest purchases, whilst we struggle to make ends meet at home, and they know that he values them both at £90 each a month. Eldest DD finally lost it with him when he said that he would no longer support her financially because she is not doing a Higher Education course that he approves of despite her being talented in her field, and receiving a full scholarship for college which means that she will graduate with no student debt. She can also convert the course to a degree with a years' further study if she so chooses, afterwards or later down the line. She hasn't spoken to him in months. Occasionally he chucks a bit of extra money in our direction when he feels like it, or when his partner guilt trips him into doing so (nice lady, I like her and have no issues with her). This is only on rare occasions that he does this.

As I said to my DDs to summarise the situation (after they complained about him and his attitude for the umpteenth time) - if they ever need money and I give them ten pounds and their dad gives them twenty pounds, remember this. Twenty pounds is pocket change to their dad, chances are that ten pounds is all I have left in my bank account.

I'm another one who gets nothing. He paid for about a year after he left, then I had to use CMS. I think I got 4 months of payments taken from his earnings and then he swanned off abroad. For the last 9 years I've had exactly £0 and in another 2 years DCs will be adults so that's that.

I get £100 a month if he remembers. I usually have to ask 3/4 times before he sorts it. He never has the money, funny how he's always got enough for up to date technology and personalised number plates.

I think he looks at us and thinks we don't need his money. Which he don't really but every penny he gives goes in DS's account.

Took 11 years for him to finally put his hand in his pocket too .

I used to receive around £700 (I think) pm for two children from a salary of around 90K. For two or three months.

Then nothing as he had moved abroad.
There are ways to force him to pay maintenance through the international agreements, but it is very expensive and it is not totally clear what the legal position would be after Brexit.
He does not pay maintenance out of principle, as I involved CSA in the matter and wouldn't negotiate with him re what he saw as a "reasonable" amount (which is comedy gold - for example, really good women don't have childcare costs, as elderly neighbours babysit for them for free).

@TinySalmon apologies for making a lazy assumption. It’s refreshing to see a dad that realises that childcare is the responsibility of both parents and doesn’t begrudge paying his fair share of the expenses. I’m left wondering why you have such an issue with him supporting his child?

I get £80 a month from dd’s dad. I managed on 5-10 a week from him when I was working. Now I’m a sahm I asked him to give me more. He should give me more than that. Once dd turned 13 I started suggesting that she asked her dad for money directly, so he pays for her phone contract and occasionally she turns up in new clothes or trainers, on top of the £80. To be honest, it’s not worth the hassle of his sob stories about being skint and then not giving me anything. £80 is manageable for him and he doesn’t let me down, it goes straight into my bank.

@thenewaveragebear1983 at least it's something, even if it should be more. Have you considered going through the CMS or do you not want the hassle?

My ex pays £220 a month, which is £20 more than the CMS minimum. I take that £20 and match it and pop it into savings for DS.

Nothing. For 4 kids. I live off CB, CTC and my disability benefit.

MY ex earns similar to yours and pays £280 per month. Our daughter is 16 and actually I spend much more than that on her each month. She never stays with him. But I get it on time every single week and so I am not complaining. He's being fair, despite never seeing her.

shakeyourbonbon, Why does your ex not pay anything? Have you tried to claim from the cms?