TO EXPECT SOMEONE TO GET THE MESSAGE?!?!?

[crispysausagerolls]

Ok, I officially have the rage now. I’ve posted twice about this. Summary is as follows:

Ex-stepfather who my mother and husband both dislike, was putting intense pressure on me to visit my newborn at inconvenient times (eg when midwife was due or my mother was staying and helping and didn’t want to see him). When I said no he emotionally blackmailed me about it by saying he would leave me alone forever. I didn’t respond and he then followed up saying more emotional blackmail not being needed anymore etc etc. MN gave me some excellent advice and I sent him a firm email explaining I felt he was being very selfish and not acting in my interests and that I wanted some space and I would be in touch when ready. He accepted this (or appeared to).

Three fucking weeks later and I have just received a message saying “seen the photos you've posted online. are you really not going to let me see DS?!”

I am so irritated at this after I requested space. WTF do I say now?!? How many times must I tell someone?! I really hate having to be unpleasant but I cannot stand being pressurised like this.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar

To be fair to me, I did write him an email a few weeks ago and it was firm and it explained I was disappointed in him and thought he was being selfish etc and then I did not respond to him or engage with him in anyway. So it’s quite obvious things are not as they were.

ghostcurry

I am sorry to hear that you went through similar, and I really appreciate your input. Unfortunately him knowing where I live won’t change if I write him 10 messages or none

'Hi Bob. I'm not really up for meeting you or introducing you to the baby - you & mum went your separate ways years ago & there doesn't really seem any reason for us to still be in touch.

I've done some thinking & I've decided to leave it at that.

Thanks, I'm sure you'll understand.

Crispy'

Then just delete him off every platform where he might contact you & block if you hear back. His attempts at contact will bounce back & he will either bugger off, or persist so that it is unambiguously him making a nuisance of himself after you've asked him to leave you alone - then you can escalate accordingly with it being clear harassment.

If you run into him, just think of him as a past acquaintance you don't really want to have anything to do with (because that's what he is). Brush him off & go about your day.

I have a similar would be hanger on - friend of ex who works in similar circles to me. Again, he's a pushy older bloke. It's taken a couple of chilly chance encounters but now he blanks me.

He will get the message.

Fair enough. You said in your op that you emailed to say you’d be in touch when ready. (For him to see the baby?)
Not sure where he was supposed to read “I never want to hear from you again” in that.
You’re sending mixed messages all the time, and then getting confused when the message you never actually sent wasn’t received.

Does he bring anything positive to your life? Or are you just worried about politeness?

I literally sent the exact email to him that someone suggested in my previous post. Including the getting in touch when ready line.

No he doesn’t bring anything positive and it’s purely out of politeness and a sense of obligation at this point.

Then getting rid of him is a good thing. Energy suckers are bad.

Don't feel sorry for him OP. Abusers all get old unless they peg it first. It doesn't change his previous behaviour. Even if he had been a blood relative wouldn't have made any difference but he's not even that. I know people who haven't let their dcs see a blood related grandparent because of various unacceptable behaviour. You don't have to answer the door to hin either. Think you will need to keep being blunt. Sorry you are having to face this OP. Tricky situation but you have to stay resolute. Don't give an inch. I would be annoyed at someone being so pushy.
.

Op if I were you I’d just get it over with, reply say you’ve been busy & ask to visit him next week for a cuppa, go round with the baby- spend a couple of hours & done, obligation fulfilled for the next few months.

Mariatequila, I think you need to read the thread. This man is an abusive creep, and never was OP's stepdad.

She needs to cut him out of her life, not arrange to meet him.

You don't need to be polite. Abuse is not polite, and he is an abuser.