To feel attracted to someone unattractive

[AmIBeingRealistic]

I was walking home one day past this guy, who I don’t know. Let’s call him A. A was well groomed, wearing suit and tie, clean shaven, etc. I looked at him, but didn’t feel attracted to him. He is not remotely attractive and most people would rate him a 3/10.

A few weeks later, I walked past an office and saw A playing with his son. I noticed him looking at me but didn’t think much else. Two days later, I was surprised to find out that A was in fact a respected member in the community. He gives lots of seminars and weekly talks on self development, life, etc. I’ve heard his name mentioned many times before by friends that attend and recommend his talks, but never seen or paid that much attention to him. He is also divorced and a single father.

So I decide to look up his talks on FB, and get hooked. His knowledge, confidence and personality shines throughout. After listening to so many talks, I felt extremely attracted to A and felt like I could look past his looks.

He is pale, bony, has chipped tooth, slightly hunched back and health complications. As weird as it sounds, I see him as a 10/10 look wise. I feel desire towards him and butterflies in my stomach when watching his videos. I even saw one video with a panel discussion, where there were around another 5 men along with him, and he appeared to be the least attractive of them all. There were two handsome panel speakers, but I didn’t feel anything towards them, but felt a burning sensation of desire and attraction towards A.

I am really thinking of getting things started with A. He shares custody between his ex wife. I have no kids myself, but willing to be a stepmother to young kids. I’ve never considered single dads previously, but now I’m willing to accept it without question.

Before I persue this, I want to know if it’s possible to sustain a relationship in the long term with someone who you initially viewed as unattractive. I’m now in a, you can call it honeymoon sort of phase, but when reality sets in, what will possibly happen? Will I just see A as the initial 3/10 and feel unsatisfied?

Is anyone here in a relationship with a partner who is unattractive, but they feel extremely attracted to them? AIBU to think you it’s possible to feel intense attraction towards an unattractive person?

Don't rush into meeting him OP. Get the kids bedrooms done up first. Try to pop to IKEA this weekend and get plans done up at the very least. Don't scrimp as you'll want them to feel very welcome, your home is their home now etc. If you can't afford the best, then do try and get a personal loan or remortgage.

Really looking forward to following your journey into marriage with Mr 3/10. 😍

I have been so amused by this thread that I will now go and look for my own worthy Nostradamus read Eleanor Oliphant.

Am on the bottom of page one and not sure if it is worth reading on, either op is trying out the plot for a not very good chick lit novel or she is a weirdo stalker. Can someone who has turned the pages and read on let me know if it is worth a chunk of my life to continue. Thanks. Lovely day btw!

@viques keep reading. The comments will make your day

I think Eleanor Oliphant is going to have a huge surge in sales.
OP are you perhaps Gail Honeyman with an ingenious marketing idea?

I think your self confidence is to be admired OP. You are clearly very sure of yourself. That fact you are going to begin a relationship with this man without him knowing anything about it (apart from the admiring look that one time) is an excellent idea! You go for it you little minx obviously he will never turn a cracker like you down. Just don't go out in public with him problem solved.

Thanks Lark, back in a bit.

You're willing to be stepmother to someone who you have never spoken to children?
In all my years on MN I honestly don't think I've ever heard anything so bizarre and slightly worrying that you've got this poor families future mapped out.
Hopefully for his sake he won't be half as attracted to you as you are to him regardless of your looks.
Utterly bonkers

You sound like one of my friends. She is attracted to power and wealth and got obsessed with our new manager. She picked out her wedding dress and jewelry, the cards and venue. She also said that she didn't want to live in his house but he had to buy something else.He kicked her out of his office after that. They never even held hands. There's a court case for sexual harassment going on now. I know it's supposed to be sad but I find it entertaining in a way. Although I like her, I feel that she needs this lesson.

The hunchback of Nostradamus 😂

I'm picturing the hunchback of Nosferatu!

Charlotte York. Is that you?

"Is that you Eleanor Oliphant?!"

HOWLING

Eh? Who is CY?

I haven’t enjoyed a thread quite as much as this in a very, VERY long time.

For those who think that replies are harsh - I’m sure a lot of people have had thoughts about what life could be like with someone, but probably not rated someone out of ten and then canvassed the internet for opinions of their infatuation.

I get it - OP, you’re very attracted to someone charismatic. But tagging along with a friend to get in with the kids? Stop. Also, he is projecting a particular image as is his job from what you say (talks/online videos). He’s charismatic. Could be an absolute shite along with his 3/10 looks. This is all very names scrawled in hearts over an excercise book cover.

I'm off to buy Eleanor Oliphant now. Hoping this post isn't a huge spoiler for the book.

If he does weekly talks and seminars it sounds like he's an mlmbot and is just trying to sign you up with his look of admiration.

Well, goodness me.

OP. Not sure if you are still around or if you are stuck in double maths, but I have some useful advice for you. Sneak up behind Nostrodamus and give him a good sniff.

Two reasons.

A) Slight humps and chipped teeth are liveable with, chronic BO is not.

B) Everyone knows that the real clincher for a lasting relationship is having compatible pheromones. Getting close enough to sniff his pits (so hoping they are fragrant!) will give you both a chance to share your pheromones and find out if you are truly attractive to each other. No pheromone attraction no jiggy jiggy I'm afraid.

Hilarious! Definite first thoughts were that OP is a real life Eleanor Oliphant!

Highly recommend the book to anyone who's not read it!

He hasn't got a pet rabbit, I hope.

I want to say posters are being harsh but if for real, the op is just so up herself confident that all she has to do is decide to like him and the deal is done. Like he's some desperado because of what she has decided is his level of ugliness.

No harm in going for it though op. Probs be romantic story to tell your grandkids. Much more likely to never happen tho, for a myriad of reasons, hey?

Shane McGowan once looked at me with admiration. In 1977. Just thought I'd mention it.

You’re definitely getting ahead of yourself OP, at least try to have a conversation with him before mapping out your future together.

Jeremy Clarkson looked at me with admiration in a pub in Notting Hill recently. Well, it was more like pissed lechery actually.

@iklboo - if he has, he soon won't...

OMG Maui woman. That was epic. Has anyone got a link? Could do with a laugh.

OP I feel like I want to get to know you better, I thought people like you only existed in soap operas