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Original poster

Why does my daughter have to have butterfly or heart zipper pulls on her school uniform?

282 replies

MsMotherOfDragons · 30/08/2018 13:15

Just that, really.

Why do the school uniform options for girls not have things like rocket or dinosaur charms? And why don't they have pockets?!! It drives me wild.

I've looked at several of the main supermarkets and they all seem to have the same problem. Eventually I went for the Sainsbury's ones on the basis of price and quality, so we're stuck with butterflies on everything.

Can I replace them with something else... does anyone know where to get rocket charms or similar? Can anyone recommend a better supplier? I'm kind of appalled that all the gender nonsense starts so early. It's so unnecessary.

OP posts:
M3lon · 31/08/2018 17:42

I actually don;t think there is that much more important to worry about than gender stereotyping tbh.

Those of you who don't care about your children receiving gendered messages day in day out, consider this:

One day your DD may be killed by their jealous ex-partner...who was never taught the value of love, respect etc. and never taught how to handle his emotions because 'boy's don't cry'. Maybe they will even kill you into the bargain, as we have seen demonstrated YET AGAIN in the news this week.

You would think this shit mattered if you understood the way in which it ruins lives.

Onemansoapopera · 31/08/2018 17:43

Bloody fucking wow.

You daughter likes skirts and dresses. She probably likes butterflies and hearts too. If she doesn't you can remove them and replace them with something else.

Perhaps tge subtle messages the shop gives her is being superceded by your not so subtle undertones so the only way she's going to be swayed is by what mum wants really isn't it, ultimately.

If you're answer to that is no then where's the actual problem.

mumknowsbest47 · 31/08/2018 17:48

She is a girl. Stick with the butterflies and hearts. You are making far too much out of it. Girls should wear girls uniforms and boys should wear boys uniforms. Simple!

JillCrewesmum · 31/08/2018 17:59

She is a girl. Stick with the butterflies and hearts. You are making far too much out of it. Girls should wear girls uniforms and boys should wear boys uniforms. Simple!

What if girls don't want butterflies and hearts?

howtomoveforwardnow · 31/08/2018 18:03

What is innately girly about butterflies and hearts 'Mumknowsbest'?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 31/08/2018 18:07

There are plenty of pinafores without butterflies and hearts. They really aren't on everything. Perfectly simple to bypass them and go plain.

Nearly47 · 31/08/2018 18:11

Not having pockets is awful. There is nowhere for even a pack of tissues? I remember my school plated skirt had a tiny internal pocket. the waist.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 31/08/2018 18:12

What ridiculous hyperbole, M3. People don't kill their partners in a jealous rage because they've been taught that boys must be strong and don't cry. Assuming that actually is the message behind the lack of sparkly butterflies on boys uniform.
Which it isn't

Lala2018 · 31/08/2018 18:12

How edgy.

Nearly47 · 31/08/2018 18:13

YANBU

rainingcatsanddog · 31/08/2018 18:14

You can buy plain school uniform.

Personally I think that if you asked boys, they wouldn't mind embroidery on their uniform.

AnxiousPeg · 31/08/2018 18:14

God almighty.

So many posters unable to think.

Every little thing is part of a bigger picture.

nannygoat50 · 31/08/2018 18:21

Get s life really doesn’t matter after. Cut them off if you don’t like it

Nearly47 · 31/08/2018 18:22

The consequences of gender stereotypes are everywhere. Boys trying to act though, girls hurting themselves because they don't look like pretty princesses. Lack of women in science and boys in carrying profession. This stuff can seem trivial but it affects the way society perceives women and how they perceive themselves. Nothing wrong in dressing pink head to toe wearing a butterfly tiara. The issue is when you have to dress like that to be considered a proper girl

Lostinlondon999 · 31/08/2018 18:30

There are many gender stereotypes and many shops are trying to eliminate this. For example my daughter has a dress full of dinosaurs on it. BUT that doesn’t mean they need to stop catering for girls/boys who love pink, butterflies and fluffy fur etc.
I opened my daughters new uniform about an hour before I read this thread, I bought 3 different types, one with a butterfly, two others were plain.
If we have no gender specific clothing then we will be discriminating against children/adults who like that style of clothing.

user1471590586 · 31/08/2018 18:30

It isn't the girls clothes that bother me as much as the shoes. Clarks girls shoes seem designed for girls to just stand there and look pretty. After my daughter wrecked a pair in a month she now wears Dr Martens Boots to school. Far more robust and better for outside play.

BikeRunSki · 31/08/2018 18:33

Winds me up too. DD (6) also dislikes it, she likes polo shirts with round buttons and non-scalloped collars.

Shadowboy · 31/08/2018 18:35

It’s a butterfly they are fairly non gender specific.. it’s not like a butterfly screams anything.
My nephew is massively into butterflies- he has stickers all over the walls of his room.
I’m sure if it really bothers you you could snap them off and buy some dino ones if that’s what your daughter is into. Mine loves unicorns and dinos in equal measure so she’s easy to please!

Nearly47 · 31/08/2018 19:02

@Shadowboy, I think you would struggle to find a boy who would wear a butterfly shirt or even have a butterfly keyring on his backpack.

Onemansoapopera · 31/08/2018 19:11

AnxiousPeg thinking - fine. Overthinking - not good. Is this not where anxiety comes in? Sweating the small stuff? Because this really is miniscule, unless you really really have not another single care in the world.

Frazzledstar1 · 31/08/2018 19:20

I think it’s completely jumping the shark to say that kids will grow up being sexist or gender biased because they like typical boy/girl things! It’s about what we teach them. My 2yo daughter would be over the moon to have a heart or butterfly on her school dress. She also loves playing with her brothers hot wheels and nerf guns. I’ve taught her that both is ok. She shouldn’t be made to feel bad for liking princesses and dolls and my son shouldn’t be made to feel bad for playing football and toy soldiers. And as a side note he also likes playing with Shopkins!

Shadowboy · 31/08/2018 19:20

Nearly47 like I said my nephew adores them - he’s 8 by the way. He’d totally have one on a key ring but he doesn’t need a key ring. He’s got butterflies on his walls and if I remember correctly those little things that go on the spikes of the bike- no idea what they are called.

AnxiousPeg · 31/08/2018 19:37

Onemansoapopera

I'm not sweating the small stuff - but thanks for the concern Hmm

In case you really are concerned, the 'anxious' in my user name is nothing to do with this sort of thing!

It's not over thinking to be able to spot (very obvious) patterns. I would suggest it's under thinking to deny that stuff means something.

AnxiousPeg · 31/08/2018 19:40

It's about what we teach them

It's not just about that though. If you think you can offset all the poisonous messages coming from the media just by good teaching in the home, I'm afraid you're kidding yourself.

Port1ajazz · 31/08/2018 19:40

Onemanssoapopera Very well said , I'm getting sick of all this tge craze ! Children have enough to learn and cope with , they don't need this added pressure ! My daughter liked cars and "boys " toys , you couldn't find a more feminine lass !

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