Hi everyone. I could really do with some advice and feedback please, on whether I'm overreacting to this situation.
I will try to explain, with a bit of background and so as not to dripfeed.
A family member has been visiting from abroad. We see her every 10 years approx and so I have met her a few times only in my adult life. She is in her 50s. For the purposes of this, I will call her Kate, (not her real name). I am living back at home at the moment, due to complex mental and physical disabilities (I have previously lived independently for several years). My parents and I get along pretty well most of the time. I have OCD and am a hoarder, which is something I am always trying to deal with and change, with varying degrees of success or failure. My clutter and hoarding has NOT spread beyond my bedroom, the rest of the house is unaffected, my room is clean, but is very cluttered and hoarded up and 'messy'.
The visit with my relative from abroad has been going well, we've all been making big efforts for it to go well and I thought we had 'turned a bit of a corner' in how we are all getting on well and finally getting to know Kate better. (She is staying for 2 weeks).
Fast forward to late last night. Everyone has gone to bed except me, I am relaxing on the sofa watching a film (with my lovely dog) and my dog is laying in a really funny position suddenly, with legs in the air, 'smiling' and snoring. Cute. I notice that my dad's digital camera is on the mantelpiece, so I think I will take a quick snap of dog in the funny pose (we often do this and use whichever camera or phone is laying around nearest). Switch camera on, it doesn't seem to work how it usually does, so I end up fumbling with it and the display screen pops up, with the photos that have been taken showing. I can see there are a few cute pics of our family pets I haven't seen before, so I am just scrolling through those, smiling at the funny pics, when I am horrified to discover a photo of the inside of my bedroom. And another and another etc....
I realise in horror (and after a bit of confusion wondering why my dad has taken pics of my room) that this camera actually belongs to Kate. She has taken 6 or 7 photos of the inside of my bedroom, all from different angles, zooming in on details of the worst clutter and piles of stuff etc. I can see the date displayed across the screen on these pics and can see it was a day when (unusually), I was out of the house all day. So she must have waited until everyone was out and has taken the pics secretly and without mentioning it to or asking anyone.
I feel so shocked and hurt and upset! Obviously, the condition of my bedroom is not ideal, but I am trying to deal with it, Kate has never spoken to me about hoarding etc and as the rest of the house is lovely (and the room she is staying in), it isn't affecting her visit in any way. So I'm left thinking why has she taken several detailed pics, behind my back and in secret!? If it's out of genuine concern, why not talk to me about it? Sadly, I think it's more likely that these pics are for her 'records' and are just something to mock me with and have a good laugh with her family when she gets home.
I think that taking secret photos of someone else's bedroom is a horribly sneaky, deceptive thing to do and is a real invasion of privacy and breach of trust. I haven't a clue what to do now or say to her. I want the photos deleted and an explanation/apology, but for the sake of my parents don't want to make a scene.
Am I overreacting in thinking this invades my privacy, or do people agree that this was a shitty thing that Kate has done? Sorry this is so long and rambling, I've been up all night fretting and teary about it and have had no sleep. I would really appreciate people's thoughts. Many thanks in advance.